Book Ends
by PheonixTears87
Summary: Three years after a heartbroken Alex escaped the Cartel, she bumps into Piper. Rated M for sexual content (Vauseman)
1. Every end has a new beginning

**Book Ends**

**Chapter One** – _Every end has a new beginning. _

"You have two options," the voice was calm, "you can stay, earn more money than even you know how to spend, or you can leave. But you must know by now Vause, you only leave this business one way." They both know which way; it came with a wooden box, six feet below solid earth.

This job had given her years of practise for perfecting her poker face. "It doesn't look as though you're giving me much choice."

"I'm not," Kubra spoke back.

She didn't let the surprise show in her face; she had always felt as though Kubra favoured her. She was good at her job, in actual fact, she was the best that there were at her job, the very top of her game, and Kubra knew it. She had organised numerous complicated importation operations resulting in hundreds of thousands of dollars for the company. Sure, the company would survive without her, but it certainly wouldn't be as profitable. She had known when she called the meeting with Kubra that he wouldn't let her go easily; she had imagined he would ask her to head one last operation before her departure, but not her life.

"Its nothing personal Kid, its just business."

Alex nodded; she looked at Kubra from above her thick rimmed glasses, "Looks like I'm sticking around."

"Smart choice," Kubra relaxed back in his chair, smiling at Alex, "where's your little plaything today?" he asked.

Thinking about Piper still came with a sting. "Had to let her go," she lied, "she was becoming a liability." She swallowed, burying the memory of her ex-girlfriend walking out on her.

"Will she talk?" Kubra's tone had changed, he sounded almost threatening.

"I made sure she didn't know enough to be a real danger" she confirmed. Kubra considered this for a moment, before deciding that he trusted her judgement.

"Good, ok, so back to business?"

"All is going well in Cambodia, head of security owes me a favour and he really can't afford to pass it up," she gave a wicked smile, "the drop should go ahead without any hiccups."

And so the conversation went on; Alex told Kubra what he wanted to hear, and Kubra updated her on the movements of various politicians, police officials etc. As "head of logistics" Alex knew most of the people she needed to know to get the job done, but every so often a new name would appear, or a change of number would occur. They always kept two steps ahead of the law, and three steps ahead of their competition.

She left the meeting and headed straight for the airport, checking through her various passports. She was a national citizen of many countries, under various aliases. It was easier now, without the added complication of her ex-girlfriend, to keep a track of which name she was using and which passport she needed. The flight ahead was long, New York to Paris, Paris to Bangkok, and finally Bangkok to Phnom Pehn, Cambodia.

She usually used flight time to sleep, although with Piper, they had found other ways of occupying themselves in the sky.. But today she was nervously going over the details of the operation ahead. Had Kubra allowed her to walk, the operation would be going exactly as she had told him it would go.. But she had no intention of staying with the company, she had to escape Kubra, and she had to do it now.

Of course, it wouldn't be easy; she was followed by bodyguards who reported directly Kubra. Even if she did manage to make a clean escape, it wouldn't be long before Kubra's men came after her. She knew that by running away, she may be running straight towards her own death, but staying meant living a life without any real meaning.

Alex looked out of the small window into the white of clouds, and she thought about Piper, who had given life some kind of meaning. When Piper had left, she had done so even knowing that Alex had just received information that her mother had died. Piper wasn't cold like that, she must have been desperate to leave. Knowing this hurt Alex even more, she had been so happy, she loved her job, and she loved Piper, but she had failed to see that when she was busy with work, Piper was waiting for her to be finished.. But her work was never finished, it was on-going, and as she became more successful, it became ever-growing. Kubra trusted her with more valuable, complex operations, and she had less time for Piper, and Piper was becoming bored of waiting in hotel rooms.

Kubra had been understanding when she told him about her mother, he gave her a much needed month off. She flew to New York and with nobody by her side, she buried her mother. That night she lay in the bath, in the empty house that had once been a home, and she cried, she cried for her mother, she cried for Piper, and she cried for herself. She cried until the water had become cold, she drained some, and topped it up with hot water. Beside the shampoo and conditioner bottles was a bottle of whisky intended to keep her company for the night, she unscrewed the cap and took a swig, wincing at the burn in her throat. It was at that moment she accepted the conclusion that for as long as she did what she did, she would be alone. Half a bottle and a hangover later, she had decided it was time she made a change to her life.

This would be her last operation. She organised for a complication to occur at security in Bangkok which would conveniently separate her from the guards, they would remain behind in Bangkok while she went on to Cambodia. She had also organised for somebody to collect the payment on her behalf. Once she knew payment had changed hands, she would ring Kubra faking panic at being separated from her guards, he would consider her safety and organise a new time for the payment drop to be made. Only, when he made the call he would be told it had been paid; only the description wouldn't be that of Alex, in fact it wouldn't be that of anybody they knew, and as drop-offs were only ever organised in areas where they couldn't be recorded, he wouldn't ever find out who. He would naturally assume that the operation had been sabotaged by another Cartel, he would never imagine Alex would screw him over. By the time he put the pieces together, she would be on a flight to Bangladesh, with $70,000.

Her plan after this was a little sketchy, she would flight hop to random locations for a few months, before heading back to the US, where she would lay low and eventually get a normal job. She didn't have any family, or any real friends, so she would be starting out all over again, this gave her a slight advantage in escaping the Cartel, but she knew that for a long time she would be just as alone as she was now. Still, she had to try. The seatbelt sign sounded, she was due to land in Paris within the next half an hour, and as she always did, she wondered about Piper and where she was now.. Perhaps she would be proud of her if she knew? Perhaps she would want her back? She couldn't help but hope, it was all she had left.


	2. Don't forget to sleep with one eye open

**Book Ends**

**_Chapter 2 – Don't forget to sleep with one eye open._**

_Kubras face came in close. She could smell the coffee on his breath and the pepper in his cologne, his stubble roughly brushed her cheek. His fingers gently moved a lock of her dark hair and tucked it behind her ear. His breath was hot on her neck when he spoke, his voice haunting, "I will find you."_

Green eyes shot open. Alex did a quick scan of the room and once satisfied she was alone, she allowed herself to breathe. It didn't happen regularly, but every so often Alex woke from a dream similar to this. A subconscious reminder to sleep with one eye open, a reminder that she wasn't free, that she would never be free. She didn't know if Kubra was actively looking for her anymore, but she was sure there was still a bounty on her head. It had been just under three years since she made her escape in Cambodia, and today she found herself in an apartment in West Hollywood.

Pealing herself from her bed sheets, she headed for the bathroom. Her roommate had company tonight, she could hear them. Splashing cold water onto her face, she filled a glass with water and stared into the mirror, her thoughts somewhere between Bucharest and Berlin, the last places she had spent any time before landing in Los Angeles.

"Ayyy," a wild haired woman appeared behind her, waking Alex from her thoughts. She took the glass of water from Alex's hand and downed the contents in one motion. "Thirsty work," she winked at Alex's reflection before passing the empty glass back. Alex stared at the glass, and painted a smile on her face. She wasn't very good at fooling Nikki, her best friend of two years. Kind eyes looked at her with concern, "bad dream?"

Alex gave a nod and let out a frustrated sigh. Nikki knew about Alex's past, not in any great detail, but enough to understand the troubled look on the taller woman's face. She had no words of comfort for her friend, what could she say?

"There's cake in the refrigerator," she offered.

"Thanks," Alex left the bathroom and headed to the kitchen. She checked the clock on the wall. 4am.

It was the anniversary of her mother's death, and for the first time in three years, she was going to visit her grave. Returning to New York, if only for a few hours, came with its dangers, it was her home, it was where Kubra was based. New York was big, but there was at least a small chance she could be seen by one of his men. She would have to be careful. Her bag for the journey was already packed, Nikki had paid for the trip on her credit card to help Alex avoid any traces back to herself, and she had a disguise picked out with another for back up.

Alex knew nothing about Kubra or the company anymore, she was blind to any information they may have on her, and blind to anyone who may be working with them. She hadn't noticed anything suspicious, but his men were talented enough to make sure that she wouldn't. She had lived like a normal civilian for over two years, she wasn't as observant as she had once been, she wasn't as sharp. She didn't let her worries show though, Nikki would never have helped her with the ticket if she'd thought Alex was putting herself in danger.

As 5am crept around, she began dressing in her disguise, nothing too extreme, a simple long sleeved white shirt to cover the tattoos on her arm, a pair of smart grey trousers and a matching tailor fitted suit jacket. She tied her hair up, popped in a pair of contact lenses to change the colour of her eyes, applied a subtle layer of make-up, and slipped on a pair of rimless glasses.

As she grabbed her bag to leave, Nikki walked in and gave her a wolf whistle. Alex shoved her playfully. "Keep it shut, Nichols" she threatened.

"Very niiiice," the girl let her fingers slide down the buttons of her shirt, "you look almost intelligent," she joked, poking her hard in the chest. "When will you be back?"

"I land at twenty to midnight tonight," Alex told her friend, "don't worry, I'll catch a cab." She scooped up her keys and left before her friend could protest.

Her flight left on time at 7.25am, it was filled with people dressed much like herself, all absorbed in paperwork and laptops. By the time the flight had landed at 4.05pm, New York time, there were women refreshing their makeup ready for late afternoon meetings, and men stretching in their seats, eager to enter the hustle and bustle of the city. Alex kept her mind focussed on the route she would be taking, she would go straight to the place her mother was buried, and then straight back to the airport. She had four hours before she was due to board the flight home, and when considering the traffic in New York, she didn't have much time to waste.

The subway was as busy as she remembered it, New York hadn't changed much.

When she arrived at her mother's headstone, she noticed that somebody had been maintaining it. She wasn't sure who, she hadn't known many of the people in her mother's life around her time of death, but it made her happy knowing somebody cared enough to keep the headstone looking clean and tidy, as her mother would have wanted. A feeling of guilt spread through her that she couldn't be the one visiting her, and taking care of her resting place. Alex sat down and crossed her long legs, feeling as small and as vulnerable as a child, she placed a colourful bouquet of flowers down beside the headstone and rested forehead against the cold stone. A single tear swelled in the corner of her eye before rolling down her cheek, "Hi mom," she started. She wasn't sure what she believed, or if she believed anything at all, but just in case, she decided it was time to be honest with her mother, it was time to come clean. She pulled at her hair, and it fell in loose waves around her shoulders.

"I don't know if you're listening, or even if you can listen.. I don't know if you've been able to look down on me, is that how it works?" She shook her head, "maybe you already know what I'm here to talk to you about.." She looked around, almost hoping for a sign that her mother could hear her.

"Remember when I used to call you, and each time I would be someplace else? Panama or Tanzania, or wherever.. And you would laugh at some of the crazy stories I would tell you? I think you knew I wasn't exactly working in a respectable job, but you never asked.. I was working for a drugs cartel. You always warned me to stay away from drugs, you didn't want me ending up like half of our neighbourhood, dealing drugs or hooked on them, you will be happy to know that I wasn't either.. The job I did wasn't on the streets, it was very much in the background.. Importation, I was good at it, really good at it" Alex took a deep breath, "anyway, when you… left.. I wasn't there, I didn't even know you were ill, you didn't tell me, I hadn't seen you in so so long, and then you were just.. gone" another tear ran down her cheek, and then another… "and I just kept thinking about all of the things I wished I'd done differently.. I lost someone else that day too, someone who came from nowhere, completely unexpected, but I fell for her, big time fell for her, she accepted me for who I am, she was smart, too smart to stick around while I was busy directing heroin around the globe.."

She cleared her throat, regaining more control over her emotions, "I was broken, so I left.. Ran away in Cambodia with $70,000 of the cartels money, nearly got caught in Istanbul, but I spent the best part of a year in some really crazy places, had to throw them off the scent. The world is much smaller than you would think, especially for an international drugs cartel. But I got to see Europe a little. I know you always wanted to see Europe, so I went for you. Anyway, the adventure couldn't last forever, so I made my way to California, stayed in a motel for a while until I found a job, a real job, on the right side of the law.. In a Book store, it suits me fine, you know how I like to read. It's not as exciting as I was used to, and it was definitely a pay cut, but it covers the bills, and keeps me out of trouble.. I live in a rented apartment with my best friend, Nikki, she's wild but she has a good heart. I'm single, forever single," she let out a sad laugh. For as long as she could remember, her mother had been single, clinging onto the hope that Alex's "Rock Star" father would come back for her. Alex knew better than that, though. She'd known, even from a young age, that her father wasn't coming back. Her father was a drunk, drug abusing has-been, she'd had the disappointing displeasure of meeting him once, and it had been his manager who introduced her to Kubra and the cartel. She chose not to share any of this with her mother, still wanting to protect her from unnecessary pain. "I'm sorry," she rubbed her thumb over her the letters engraved into the headstone, "I'm sorry," her voice was barely a whisper.

The alarm on her phone sounded, it was time for her to leave. "I love you," she leant in and kissed the top of the headstone. She couldn't bring herself to say goodbye. She walked away, and wiped the tears from her face before tying her hair back up. She turned to look back before she left and felt her shoulder knock into a solemn looking man who was holding a phone to his ear, he grunted and she apologised but he had already passed her by. She looked over the sea of graves, and smiled seeing the bright flowers she had left, they were the brightest in the graveyard; her mother would like that.

The journey back to the airport had been a blur, she had walked to the subway station paying no attention at all to her familiar surroundings. She felt happy as she thought about her mother, enjoying memories she shared with her. It was dark as she boarded the plane, and she felt a little more relaxed now that she was leaving New York. Tired from her long day and disrupted rest the night before, she let herself sleep on the plane, and before she knew it they were circling LAX, and preparing for landing. She had been waiting and preparing for today for so long, and now it was over. She felt relieved and peaceful. It was as she exited the plane that she noticed a familiar brown jacket and dark green woolly hat. She thought for a moment about who it was, perhaps a customer or one of Nikkis friends.. and as the man turned to grab his bag from the overhead compartment, she recognised him as the man she knocked into at the graveyard. Surely it was just coincidence? She knew better. She lowered her head, knowing her height made her easier to see. She followed the crowd of people off the plane, her ability to find calmness when under stress was a natural gift, she headed for the ladies toilets, and sure enough she could see his green hat leant against the wall a short distance away. She was being followed.

Alex locked herself into a cubicle and rang Nikki.

"Hey," she said calmly, "so, a situation has arose, and I'm going to need you to come and get me.. I'll be in a blonde wig, blue jeans and a grey UCLA pull over, try and use a different car," she advised, knowing they would be able to trace Nikkis car back to their address.

Alex wiped the make up from her face with a wipe, and tied her hair back tightly before pulling on the blonde wig. She took out a creased fabric shoulder bag, and put her other bag and her belongings inside, before walking out of the cubicle. She paused in the mirror and adjusted the wig before calmly leaving, fighting the impulse to look over her shoulder and check whether the brown jacket and green hat was following her. She continued down the causeway, passed through security and checked her phone as she entered he parking lot. She couldn't see any sign of the man from the graveyard and let out a breath she hadn't even realised she'd been holding in.

Pacing up and down the path impatiently, Alex kept a look out of any sign of trouble, she scanned each car as it went by, and watched the few stationary cars for any sign she was being watched. She was on edge and almost jumped out of her skin when she felt the phone buzz in the pocket of her jeans. "Red Kia, to your left" she slipped the phone back in her pocket and headed for the car.

The driver was a dark haired younger woman with smudged red lipstick, Alex looked from her to Nikki, who had a smudge of red upon her own lips. "Lorna, Alex, Alex, Lorna" the wild haired girl introduced, "We good?"

"Lost him," Alex nodded, she pulled the itchy wig from her head as they hit the freeway.

Nikkis eyes were full of concern as she turned in her seat to look at her friend. Alex shook her head. Now was not the time to explain. Nikki took the blonde wig and shoved it between her friend's legs, "now you have a merkin!"


	3. Of all the book shops in all the towns

**_Note: _**_First of all I would like to thank you for reading. I haven't written anything in years, so I feel a little rusty. Thank you for those who have reviewed, favourited, or opted to follow the story, it has encouraged me to continue.._

**Book Ends**

**_Chapter 3 – Of all the book shops in all the towns in all the world..._**

"It's just no use!" she screamed, exasperated, "No fucking use!"

Piper balled up the closest item of clothing and threw it against the wall. "I can't find anything!"

"Calm down.." His voice had an air of amusement.

She turned to the doorway where her boyfriend stood, "we will find it.." he stepped over one of the boxes, "what are we looking for?"

She rolled her eyes at him, "my top, the pastel blue one, with the faint floral pattern.." she tried to describe it, but knew that unless it was lace, Larry probably wouldn't have a clue. As expected, his expression remained vacant. He looked down at the cardboard boxes, "don't you remember which box you packed it in?"

Piper had to refrain from picking up one of the boxes and throwing it at her boyfriend, "don't you think," she spoke slowly, "that if I knew which box it would be in, I'd have found it by now?"

Larry nodded and moved to the nearest box, he turned it around and then looked up, "didn't you label the boxes?"

"No Larry, I did not Label the fucking boxes!"

"You probably should-

"Well I fucking didn't!" She threw a pair of socks at him, "how is this helping me Larry?!"

He shrugged, "I just think that if you had.." He was cut off by another pair of socks, this time stuffed into his mouth.

Piper turned the boxes upside down and began to frantically rummage through the piles of clothes, "the interview is in two hours, Larry.."

"You're going to be fiiiiine," he smiled at her, folding the socks and setting them aside, "no worries, you're gonna walk it."

Larry turned over another box and started searching though it, he came across something pale blue and floral, as he passed it to Piper, unable to contain his smug smile. "Is this it?"

Piper held her lips tightly, "yes," she snatched it from him.

"I'd better go," he said, wrapping his arms around her, "I have a collaboration meeting.."

Piper nodded, Larry hadn't stopped talking about his new job since he started it two weeks ago. Collaboration meeting this, Scripting that, Pilot episode blah blah blah. Having moved to place where they knew nobody apart from each other, Piper found herself dutifully forced to take the full brunt of Larry's recent obnoxious behaviour. She was happy for her boyfriend and his current success, even happier that it had meant they could move away from their families and start a new life in California. She much preferred the warmer climate. But she was looking forward to finding work, if only to get a break from this imperious version of her boyfriend.

"Tonight," he glanced around the room, "we will finish unpacking."

"Tonight we will finish unpacking" Piper mocked at him, not in the mood for his directions.

Larry laughed at her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading out of the door, "good luck!"

...

"Tell me, Piper" her interviewer looked from behind thick rimmed glasses, his chestnut hair fell in loose waves around his face, "why is it you want to work here?"

Piper looked around; she was currently sat at a table in a small coffee shop located inside "Book Ends" a large, contemporary (without being overly modern), independent book store. Several answers rushed to her mind – "I love coffee" – "I love to read" – "I love to drink coffee while I read.."

"Well," she began, hoping for a more articulate answer, "I'm not going to sit here and lie to you, Mr Adams, I've never worked in a coffee shop before, never worked in a book store before either.."

_Where are you going with this, Piper?_

"I can't say it's been my lifelong ambition to serve coffee in a bookstore, but then, I've never really found my life's ambition, and this seems as good a place as any.."

_Did you really just say that?_

Her interviewer tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear, he stared at piper quizzically, "I appreciate your honesty Miss Chapman," he half smiled, "could you please tell me how you would be an asset here at Book Ends?"

The man seemed uncomfortable asking the questions listed before him, as though the words were unnatural to him. Piper noted that he didn't look like typical manager, aside from his buttoned up black shirt, he had a very casual appearance, and a stretcher in one ear. Piper half imagined him wearing an oversized cable knit jumper while playing the guitar.

He scratched the reddish stubble on his chin, awaiting her answer.

"Yes, well.. as we have discussed, I am very honest.. I have excellent customer service skills, I have experience with building great relationships with customers, I have a positive, professional attitude.."

The man held up his hand.

"Look, you've been honest with me, so let me be honest with you.."

Piper swallowed, she hated awkward situations, yet frequently found herself in them.

"I'm tired of these BS interviews, I ask standard interview questions... googled the night before" he admitted with a kind smile, "and everyone says exactly what they need to say.. rehearsed, mundane fake as anything answers, when in the end I just pick whoever I like the most on the day, today it's you."

Piper blinked.

"Sorry?"

"You got it," he shuffled his paperwork, and took a pen from his pocket, "You got the job, Miss Chapman.. Congratulations."

Letting out a high pitched squeak of Joy, Piper jumped up from her chair.

"Thank you Mr Adams," she said, reaching to shake his hand. He gave her an amused smile and outstretched his hand, "please, call me Rick.." he passed her the paperwork and a pen, "if you could just sign here, I will have everything organised for you to start on Monday, is this ok?"

Piper nodded and signed the paperwork.

"Allow me to introduce you to some of the team.." He made his way to the counter, where the staff were busy making coffee and serving cake, "this is Lauren and Rachel," one of the girls had short cropped hair, the other had shoulder length red hair, they both flashed her a smile, "and this is Nikki."

The girl named Nikki turned to face her, froth from her coffee giving her a foam moustache. Her untameable hair was tied back, but it still looked health hazard. Rick handed her a napkin.

"Sorry, coffee is all that's keeping me awake today.. Had a late collection at the airport" she yawned and took the napkin to her lip.

Rick nodded, "well there's plenty of it, just try not to drink our profits." He walked behind the bar and began making himself a coffee, "Guys, this is Piper; she will be starting with us on Monday."

"Newbie!" Nikki exclaimed, taking the napkin to her lip, "welcome to the team, leave her with me, Ricky," she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Rick smiled, "I'll just go scan your paperwork, I promise, she seems wild but she doesn't bite."

Nikki leaned in close to Piper, "not hard, anyway.."

Piper watched her new boss disappear through a staff door, and then turned to her new colleagues trying to think of something to say which wouldn't make her look like a complete tool.

"You like Pussy, Piper? Or do you prefer Pipe, as your name suggests?"

"You're gonna scare her off before her first day!" The red-haired girl nudged Nikki hard in the ribs, before offering Piper an apology.

"Sorry!" Nikki threw her hands to the air, she eyed Piper with curiosity "I'm feeling some Sapphic vibes coming off you.."

This earned her another, harder nudge, this time from the short haired blonde. "What?! I'm practically taken!" She said defensively, "I just thought that maybe Alex would be interested.."

_Alex._

Her heartbeat quickened slightly at the name. Alex wasn't exactly an uncommon name, but whenever she heard it, whomever the name belonged to, she couldn't prevent the familiar face that came to mind. She had long since deleted any pictures she had of the woman, but that face, she had that face memorised from the moment they'd met. Heart shaped, and framed by jet black hair, searching grey-blue eyes beneath pointed eyebrows, those full rose petal lips, how she missed those lips.. She wondered about her briefly, but knew not to ponder for too long, even just a mere thought of the woman made her heart ache. Whenever the memory of Alex resurfaced, she was forced to face their last memory, forced to recall the look Alex's her face as she walked away. It broke her heart then, almost enough to make her change her mind, but now she just felt guilt and regret, and then as she thought of Larry, she felt guilty all over again. It was always the same pattern, always the same wave of emotions.

"Earth to chapman!" Nikki's hands were animatedly waving in the air. Piper blinked, forcing Alex and Larry to the back of her mind.

"Ricks waiting for you.."

She said goodbye to her new co-workers while heading in the direction of her new boss. He had an envelope in his hand, which he passed to her. "This is your contract, I've included your hours for the next two weeks, if you have any issues then let me know and we can work something out, the girls are always swapping shifts.."

Piper nodded, "is there a uniform?"

Rick shrugged, "Flat black shoes, pumps are fine, Pressed black shirt or t-shirt, black pants or skirt, nothing too short, we provide the aprons.. I don't think I need to ask you to be hygienic and presentable."

Piper nodded, "got it, Monday then?"

"I will be here to show you the ropes, then you can shadow one of the girls for the rest of the day," he gave her a smile, "don't be too nervous, we're like a family, we all look out for each other, even the bookies.." he motioned his head towards a female member of staff tidying shelves in the book store.

Upon hearing the term "bookie", the woman slipped the hardback onto the top shelf before turning around to face them. The smile she had been wearing dropped in an instant.

Piper blinked. She couldn't believe her eyes. Voice caught in her throat, she could barely whisper the name, "Alex?"

"Piper?" the familiar raspy voice caused her breath to catch.

"Oh great!" Nikki, who was wiping down a nearby table, looked from her best friend to the new girl, "you guys already know each-other?"


	4. You got to put your behind in your past

**Book Ends**

**Chapter 4 – You got to put your behind in your past.**

For just a moment it was as though the past few years hadn't happened, as though the blonde had never walked out on her. Everything was forgotten as she looked into those eyes. She exhaled slowly as she tried to come to terms with reality, and while she felt weak at the sight of her ex-girlfriend, she found some strength too, enough to at least find her voice, "Piper?"

It was quiet, but she recognised that familiar voice as it whispered her name back, "Alex?"

"Oh good, you already know each other?!" Nikkis voice was loud, an unwelcome intrusion on an extremely private moment. Alex frowned. Nikki didn't understand the significance of this moment.

"You could say that," Alex answered her best friend. She tore her eyes away from the blonde, "or at least we did.."

Completely oblivious to the tension in the air, Nikki punched the air, "I knew it!" she smiled proudly, "I can always tell.."

Finding no other words, Alex excused herself, "I've got to go and sort the stock." She wheeled the trolley away as quickly as she could, one of the wheels squeaking loudly as she disappeared down the length of the store. Walking down the stairs to the basement, she welcomed the cool air against her flushed cheeks and rested her head against one of the shelves. "Fucking Fuck Fuck!" She punched an empty cardboard box.

How was it that she could keep it calm when organising a tricky four-and-a-half kilo Heroin import, and yet a confrontation with her ex-girlfriend had her hiding in a basement? She dropped her head into her hands and pressed the balls of her palms against her eyes. When she had imagined seeing Piper again, if she ever saw the woman again, she hadn't imagined it being anything like this. The many times she had pictured all the possible ways their reunion could have played out, none of them resulted in her acting like a deer caught in headlights, running away to catch her breath. Alex always tried to give the impression that she was impenetrable, her previous job had meant that she had to appear tough. Nobody fucked around with Alex Vause. She was direct, she could be aggressive, she had a confidence which drew people towards her, but a dangerous edge which kept them at a safe distance. As a child, growing up in a rough neighbourhood and dealing with cruel classmates who bullied her for not having a father, or not wearing brand named clothes, she had learned to put her emotions in a box, she'd learned not to take any shit from people, and not to allow anyone close enough to see past her shield of protection. Anyone, that had been, except for Piper. She had been the only person who persisted to break past each and every barrier, and as she did so, she further cemented an eternal place in the woman's heart.

Her chest pounded, pacing up and down, Alex tried to evaluate the situation. So she had seen her ex? So what? Maybe she was just in LA on a visit? Although it looked an awful lot like the end of a job interview… How was this even possible? Piper lived in New York. She could feel the beginnings of a headache and squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

"That was a pretty speedy getaway," she heard Nikki's amused voice, but knew her friend was concerned. This wasn't typical Alex behaviour.

"I know, I know.." She continued to pace, "How?!"

Nikki looked at her blankly, "wanna talk about it?"

"No." Alex looked up, her eyes gave a different answer.

"Who is she?"

"Its _her_," she'd told Nikki about her ex before, though she hadn't into detail – it was too painful.

"The bitch who left you in Paris?!" Nikki looked surprised, "fuck!"

They stood in silence for a few minutes, "want me to kill her?" she offered.

Alex gave her a little laugh.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she starts on Monday…"

Alex closed her eyes, she'd been afraid of that.

"Fuck!" she exhaled as her friend wrapped an arm around her shoulder

"Maybe she wont show?" Nikki offered, "Seeing you may have spooked her?"

Alex shrugged, "Yeah, maybe…"

"Want me to give her a hard time, make sure she doesn't come back?"

It was a tempting idea, but she thought better of it. What if Piper was in some kind of trouble and needed the job? Piper was smart though, she had a degree, surely she could get a job somewhere else, with a bigger salary.. She knew nothing about her ex-girlfriend anymore..

"Nah, let's just see how it plays out.. I'm fine," she was met with eyes full of disbelief, and corrected herself, "I'll be fine" she corrected.

Nikki headed back to the coffee shop and left Alex in the basement.

"Pull it together Vause," she instructed herself.

She headed back onto the shop floor and continued the never ending task of organising the shelves. The mundane task wasn't nearly distracting enough to stop her mind from wondering.. One memory after another of her and Piper. For each good memory, she found a bad one to counter it. She knew she wouldn't ever be totally over Piper, but if she was going to be seeing her on a near daily basis, then she needed to find a way to control her mind.

It wasn't easy to suppress it though, she constantly caught herself imagining the pair of them alone together.. Did she want Piper back? There was an aching when she thought about her, and moments when she believed it could be possible to win her back.. But then, when she remembered their screaming rows and the number of times Piper had threatened to leave, had left, but had then come back.. and of course, had finally left never to come back.. Their relationship had been a passionate one, on both ends of the spectrum. There was a magnetic attraction between them, they were complete opposites, from completely different worlds, and yet they were drawn to each other, it had been the things about Piper that she found the most attractive which were also the things which would infuriate her. Mostly though, their arguments circled around one particular issue, and that was Alex and her work.. As this was no longer an issue, she couldn't help but wonder..

And wonder she did, until the clock ticked around and she was able to leave work, she continued to battle with thoughts about Piper. Was she thinking about her too? Had their unexpected reunion had the same effect on her?

As she wandered the streets along her journey home, she felt her phone buzz in the pocket of her leather Jacket. She ignored it at first, lost in her thoughts. When it buzzed a second time, she took her phone out and saw the name she had expected.

**Nikki: Dusk?x**

**Nikki: I have a double JD with your name on it, usual spot x**

**Nikki: Don't make me hunt you down, bitch! Get your ask at Dusk!x**

Dusk was a bar they frequented, although not usually this early in the evening. Alex laughed at her friend's persistence and felt thankful to have a good friend like Nikki. She turned quickly on her heals and headed for the bar. A drink was exactly what she needed to take the edge off the day.

Surprised by how busy the bar was for only 6pm, Alex weaved through the tables out front, and headed towards the back to "their table", and there sat Nikki sat with Lorna and a collection of empty glasses.

As she took her seat, Nikki pushed two glasses towards her, "Happy hour," she hiccupped, "drink up!"

She drank down the first Jack Daniels and Coke in nearly one go, impatient for to numbness that alcohol offered. Slowly, as she emptied more and more glasses, her mind became cloudy. The day's anxiety had been washed away, and instead she felt relatively happy in her friends company. Nikki had made sure there were always drinks at their table, and Alex was impressed that instead of abandoning her for flavour of the month, she had been on top form, joking around, handing out some banter and befriending strangers at the bar, inviting them to their table. Alex had talked about everything other than the one thing which continued to drift to the front of her mind.

Lorna, who wore her hair in a 1950's pin up style, had a soft voice, and Alex had to concentrate to hear her above the bustle of the bar. She and Alex spoke throughout the night, and what struck Alex the most was the naivety of the woman, she seemed so positive, seeing the best in everyone and everything. Alex would usually consider such a personality train as being annoying, but Lorna was sweet, she had a kindness that was rare in people these days. Recognising her Boston accent, they made small talk about some of their favourite places in New York. Alex briefly explained that she'd had her heart broken in Paris, "The city of love?!" the petite woman exclaimed, and that since then, she had travelled the world for a while before settling in California. Lorna asked no further questions, and Alex had been surprised that she hadn't even asked about the incident at the airport the night before. Perhaps, having grown up in a similar neighbourhood to Alex, she understood that certain things were better not discussed. She told Alex about how she had moved to California fairly recently, she had won a scholarship and was studying at a cinema make up school. The young woman, like many young women in LA, had big dreams of working in the film industry.

As they walked home, Lorna and Nikki took up either side of Alex, struggling to keep the taller woman upright. She had drunk more than them, and she was struggling with her balance. Alex mumbled something incoherent, and frowned at the sounds that had escaped her mouth. Frustrated, she stopped in the middle of the path and stumbled towards the wall, using it to hold herself up. "But I love her!"

"I know," Nikki ran a hand through her friends' dark hair, "I know you do…"

"You do?" Alex looked at her through bloodshot eyes.

"I do."

"Do you?"

"I do!" Nikki gave her a playful shove, which sent the woman stumbling against the wall. Unable to regain her balance she fell to a heap on the floor. "What the fuck, Nichols?"

Nikki threw her head forward as she laughed, her wild hair giving her the appearance of a crazed lion. She held out her hand for Alex to pull herself up from but instead found herself being dragged down to the floor, and fell. Lorna took out her phone and started to take pictures of them as the pair continued to laugh manically. The petite woman grabbed Nikkis' outstretched hand and pulled as hard as she could to pull her up, but Nikki was a dead weight, helpless as she tried to catch her breath. Lorna sat down beside them.

As their laughter died down, Alex frowned into the darkness.. "What the fuck am I gonna do?"

"You got to put your behind in your past," Nikki patted her on the shoulder, "wait.." she frowned as she thought about it, "you gotta put your past behind you," she corrected herself with a nod.

Alex decided for a change of topic. She looked at Lorna and then poked her friend hard in the chest, "I like this one" she announced. She leaned across Nikki and looked at her new friend, "I like you!"

"I like you too," Nikki spoke, sincerity in her voice.

"Well, I'm enjoying all this love," Lorna laughed before placing a soft kiss on Nikki's cheek, "I like you too" she whispered into her ear seductively.

Alex momentarily watched the pair, happy that her friend had found someone who she cared for. Nikki was like Alex in many ways, and wasjust as evasive when it came to the matter of emotions.

Having scrambled against the paving stones, and each other, the three of them managed to pull themselves up. Alex grabbed Nikkis hand and then grabbed Lornas' hand, and she put them together. "There," she smiled at them, as their fingers interlocked. "Don't hide how you feel," she slurred, and with her thoughts back on Piper, she gave them some advice, "because you don't know how long you're going to have together to show it."


	5. Pain is only relevant if it still hurts

**A/N: Hello, I have this story all planned out in my mind, but I think some of the chapters like this one are going to feel a bit like fillers before I get into the thick of the plot.. so I hope it's not boring and you don't lose interest. Constructive criticism is welcome. I am definitely leading up to some Vauseman stuff soon as I'm getting a little impatient to write it. And I expect there will be an eventual rating change also. **

**The title of this chapter comes from an Ed-Sheeran song (U.N.I.) as the line just kind of stuck with me.. and I'm going through a little Sheeran obsession at the moment.. **

Chapter 5 – Pain is only relevant if it still hurts.

She could feel the burn in her thighs as she pushed and pushed further and further. She ignored the beads of sweat rolling from her forehead, ignored the pounding of her heart as she continued ahead, the only sound being pulsing in her ears and the rhythmic sound of her feet hitting the gravelly floor. She was up high now, she could feel the air changing and pushed harder until there was no higher ground, and with a small smile upon her lips she slowed to a stop. Bending over, leaning her bodyweight through her arms and into her knees, she tried to calm her breathing with long and steady breaths. Running like this, as hard as she could, pushing past that pain barrier, it cleared her mind, even for just the moment. She felt the euphoria begin and although her legs felt like jelly, she began to walk.

The sandy pathways dotted with people enjoying the view over Hollywood, Piper looked out to the Horizon, and couldn't help the thought that came to mind, somewhere out there was Alex. She took a mouthful of the water and allowed some to dribble down her chin, the water wasn't cold anymore, but her mouth was dry and the low sun was hot. She'd left Book Ends in a state of bewilderment having seen her ex, she hadn't noticed anything at all along her journey home, and when she had arrived, she found her apartment in the same condition as she left it. Larry wasn't home yet. Part of her was relieved, she wanted to be alone, and yet she craved the comfort that her boyfriend could offer.

She opted to run somewhere new, somewhere more open, and took the car to Runyon Canyon up near the hills, and she began to run. As she walked back to the car, she resigned herself to the fact that it didn't matter what she did, or hard she ran, or where she was, her mind was back in the book store, her eyes on those green-blue eyes, tracing the outline of the dark curls of hair as they fell onto strong shoulders.. As it had been when they had first met, just a glance of the beautiful woman had left its mark. She couldn't fight the wave of emotions which were currently crashing through her, it was like rewinding four years ago, when Alex had stood beside her in a bar, mocking her CV. She hadn't been able to take her eyes off the woman, captivated by her confidence, she had felt drawn to this stranger, and like a lost puppy dog, she found herself following after her, eager for her approval. Each smile the taller woman had given, she took as reward, she'd felt pathetic for completely giving in to her attraction to this woman, but did so anyway. She didn't take the time to question how she had been attracted to this woman, when she had never before felt attraction to another woman; she just followed the woman's lead... She'd followed her innate desire, enjoying the accelerated speed of her heart rate whenever the woman stood closer to her, hungry for her touch. She'd known that Alex was more than aware of the control she had over her, that she enjoyed the control, smirking at each reaction Piper gave to her merciless teasing. There had been a slight arrogance which Piper would not usually find attractive, and yet she found Alex wore it well. Of course, she had ended up in bed with the woman, and experienced sex like she had never known it before, intense, passionate, slightly aggressive, and yet sensual.. She'd known then that her world would never be the same..

As Piper reached her car, she found herself smiling slightly at those early memories of Alex. The beginning of relationships were always the best part, she tried to rationalise, although she knew that she was lying to herself. Yes, the beginning of all relationships were exciting, even with her and Larry, but she knew that with Alex it was something different, something which went unexplained because explaining it was impossible. It just was.

Sitting and waiting for the traffic lights to change on her way back home, she contemplated not taking the job at the coffee shop. Being close to Alex was dangerous, she knew that. It wasn't that she thought Alex would try to seduce her as she had before, she knew that she had hurt the woman when she walked away from her in Paris. Piper was more afraid of what she would do herself.. And life was good now, wasn't it? Too good to throw away because of some unexplainable attraction she felt with her ex-girlfriend. She was with Larry now, she was Happy.

She thought back to how she had met Larry shortly after her return from Paris, he had been the exact opposite of her dangerous ex-girlfriend, and she liked that, she needed that. He was shy, and she had enjoyed making him nervous, just as Alex had done with her, and he had a self deprecating sense of humour which Piper had found endearing. At first he had been like the soft warm bed needed when suffering the hang over following a wild night of crazy fun. But as time had passed, and Piper adjusted back into to an ordinary life, Larry had become her best friend as well as her lover.

Larry, although sometimes annoying, was loving, caring and attentive, perhaps sometimes a little too much. Her parents had initially disapproved, they had expected Piper to marry into a secure future with a lawyer or a doctor, but in time they had grown to accept Larry, and now that his career was finally taking off, they even boasted about him to their circle of friends.

Yes, life was too good for Piper to just throw away right now... But she couldn't ignore that familiar itch of curiosity, that desire to dance on the edge of the comfort zone, and flirt with potential disaster. She shouldn't go back to Book Ends on Monday, she should just wait for the next job opportunity, she wasn't desperate for the money or anything.. and yet, what if?

She walked into the apartment and was greeted with the smell of cooking food; she sniffed appreciatively and headed towards the Kitchen. Larry stood wearing her pink apron, he smiled widely at her and rushed over to give a kiss, he wrinkled his nose at the taste of salt on his lips.

"Sorry," she apologised, "been out running, I'll go shower before dinner," she started to strip her clothes off, as she headed for the shower.

Larry watched his girlfriend, enjoying the view as she pulled off her shorts. He could hear a pan bubbling over and shook his thoughts away. "How did it go?" he called out.

This was it, Piper thought, it was time for her to make a decision..

"I start Monday!" she said, and climbed into the shower.

"That's great!" she heard him over the water. She didn't answer, feeling guilt for something which hadn't even happened yet. Something which _wont _happen, she tried to convince herself that she didn't want anything to happen, knowing the real danger wasn't Alex, it was herself.

She bent back her neck, allowing the water to hit her face. And as she ran her hands slowly down to her stomach, she unable to stop the memory of Alex's hands smoothly caressing her as they showered together. She opened her eyes and stared at the white tiles, knowing that she was so so wrong to be thinking this way, but not really wanting to stop herself from doing so.

"Dinners nearly ready," Larrys voice was close. She cradled her neck around the curtain to see his head peaking through the door. She swallowed down the cold feeling of guilt and felt it rest in her stomach.

That night, as she lay in the warm comfort of Larry's arms, she allowed her conflicting thoughts to battle it out, until eventually, she joined him in sleep. In sleep, her thoughts intercepted her dreams.. She was walking along the street, uniform buildings of white and beige, palm trees and green shrubs dotted along the way, and as she passed each person along her route, their faces changed and became Alex. As she reached out to touch her, the raven haired woman would disappear, only to reappear in the face of the next person she came to pass.

Her eyes shot open and she looked at the time on the digital clock on her bedside table. It was 5.40am. Larry's alarm would go off in twenty minutes ready for him to head out to whatever meetings he had scheduled today. She closed her eyes and saw those familiar green blue eyes framed by thick black rimmed glasses, her stomach fluttered, at first with desire and then with guilt, she forced her eyes open again, and began to place soft kisses along Larry's chest. He moaned in his sleep, and she continued so kiss him until his eyes fluttered open, he smiled at her as she continued her gentle assault. As they continued into their morning romp, Piper couldn't suppress the feelings of guilt that she felt for being curious about her ex-girlfriend. She knew that it was fucked up, but she couldn't help it.

...

Monday morning arrived, and Piper couldn't eat her breakfast, picking her toast to pieces, as her nerves set her on edge. She thought about the small coffee shop, if this place was anything like the other jobs she'd had, she knew they would make her first day comfortable, she would probably be given the easy jobs, and shadow the staff for the day. She thought about the brassy woman named Nikki. She obviously knew Alex, and Piper wondered whether Alex would have told her about their past, and if she did, then she knew that she probably wasn't in for a pleasant morning with the woman.. Her stomach churned with nerves as Larry walked with her to the book shop; he gave her an encouraging smile as they said goodbye and she took a deep breath before ducking beneath the shutters which were half opened for staff to enter.

The book store looked larger without shoppers browsing the books or congregating around large brown sofas which were dotted around the store. There were several members of staff putting out new stock and tidying the displays, but none of them were Alex. She felt relieved as she headed towards the coffee shop; she wasn't ready to see the woman just yet.

"Piper!" a friendly voice called her name, she saw Rick making a beeline for her and she smiled back at him.

"Come on, you will be shadowing Nikki this morning," he said. He rummaged in his pocket before producing a badge with the name "Shanice" on it, he gave her an apologetic smile before explaining that hers would probably come with the mornings post. She pinned the badge to the apron he passed her and he re-introduced her to Nikki, who was currently putting cookies in the cake display cabinet.

As Nikki turned to face them, she held up a broken cookie defensively, "it broke" she said, crumbs falling from her mouth. Rick rolled his eyes, mumbled something about her eating away at his profit margins and wandered off.

Piper looked at Nikki, and the woman looked back at her, her eyes slowly moving down her body and then back up.

"This is your first day, so I'm gonna go easy on you, Shanice" Nikki eyed her badge with amusement, "the store opens at 9am, so we open at 9am, we get a few people popping in for coffee before their morning meetings, but most of them head to Starbucks for their pre-work coffee.. so it's relatively easy goings in the mornings, picks up a lot at lunch though, we do Panini's, sandwiches and soup, so lunch time is probably our busiest time of the day, and then we get people coming in for cakes in the middle of the afternoon. We stay open until 8pm.." she continued to describe the daily running's of the store, and the types of customer they received. Weekends were their busiest days, and whenever there was a start of a new term, or a big book release, on really big book releases they would stay open for the midnight release.

Once the cake cabinet had been filled with cookies and a variety of pastries, Nikki moved on to explaining the different types of coffee, Piper wasn't expected to have these memorised just yet, but it would be helpful to learn them quickly, she had advised. She showed her how to use the coffee machine, but put her mind at ease by telling her she would show her it again before she had to use it, and she gave Piper a brief tour of where things were stored, and then a slightly wider tour of the entire store. The customers sometimes expected the coffee shop staff to know as much about the location of a specific book as the book store staff. So she pointed out how the front of the store had the fiction books, comics and graphical novels, then general entertainment like music or sport, then the art books, and as you moved towards the back of the store there were the more "boring" books, as she described, indicating the geography and history genres. The coffee shop was near to these books.

Piper continued to listen to the various pieces of information and customer stories that Nikki shared with her, all the while keeping a watchful eye out for Alex.

"She's in the stockroom," Nikki said eventually, a knowing look on her face.

"Who?" Piper asked lamely.

"Cinder-fucking-rella," Nikki rolled her eyes.

Piper shrugged her shoulders, "I don't care," she said hoping to look nonchalant, but the look on Nikki's face told her she wasn't buying it, "I mean, I didn't ask.."

"You didn't have to."

Piper wanted to look away, but she didn't. An understanding passed between them, Nikki knew that she had a past with Alex, and Nikki wanted Piper to know that she knew.

"Look, Alex is my friend," she explained, her voice dropped to barely a whisper, "she's had a tough time, you know, running away from the Cartel."

_Alex ran away from Kubra?!_

"But she's doing alright now, and whatever history you two had, that's your business, but I don't want to see her getting hurt."

Piper could feel her heart beating hard in her chest. When she'd seen Alex, she hadn't stopped to think about why Alex may have been working in a book store, but now that she knew Alex had left the Cartel, ran away in fact, she couldn't imagine what the woman must have been through. She wondered when this had happened.. She had so many questions for her ex-girlfriend, and yet, she didn't feel ready to ask them.

"I don't.." She tried to think of what to say to Nikki, "I didn't know she was going to be here, I saw her last week and I.. I didn't expect to see her.."

"And yet, here you are?" Nikki's voice had a tone of accusation.

"I needed the job," Piper lied.

Nikki held up her hands, "none of my business Blondie," she said.

The morning had gone much the way Nikki had predicted; it had been relatively quiet with a steady flow of customers, but not busy. Piper regretted her decision to take a late lunch break, which she would now have to take once the lunch time rush had died down. The smell of grilled cheese made her stomach rumble as she served up Panini after Panini.

As she turned to hand Nikki a cup of soup, she saw Alex watching her from the queue. Piper paused for a moment, unable to move her eyes away. Nikki followed her eyeline and rolled her eyes, taking the soup from her hands and passing it to the customer. She turned to the coffee machine and made up the coffee she knew her friend was in the line for, she waved her hand in the air, and Alex came forward.

"Ham and cheese?" the woman asked Nikki.

Nikki turned to Piper, "another ham and cheese?"

Piper turned to the Panini machine, grabbed a pre-sliced ciabatta, placed the slices of cheese inside and the deli-ham, brushed the bread lightly with olive oil and placed on the press. Once it was ready, she served onto a plate and grabbed a hand full of mixed leaves on the side, and a few slices of tomato, and ignored the cucumber remembering that Alex didn't like it.

She passed the plate to Alex who gave Piper her signature smirk, "maybe this is a bad time to say hi, huh?"

Piper didn't answer; she wasn't sure what to say. Alex's smile widened, and there was a twinkle in her green blue eyes, "thanks Shanice," she said, her eyes glancing down at Pipers badge, Alex took a long sip of coffee and held her gaze for a moment before Piper shied away, turning to face the Panini press.

"Smooth," Nikki mocked under her breath. Piper rolled her eyes.

Nikki moved closer towards her, and in a quiet voice, she said "I think this is a line from a song.. but pain is only relevant if it still hurts."

Piper wasn't sure what Nikki had meant by that, but kept her back to the seating area until she was sure Alex had returned to her work, and as the lunch time rush died down, Nikki had excused her for a lunch break.

Piper grabbed a sandwich from the coffee shop, took her phone from her locker and headed outside where she sat in a nearby park. She had a missed call from Larry, and a text from him asking how her day was going. She wasn't sure how to answer, so she sent him a generic text to say that it was going well.

As she headed back to the coffee shop, she passed by Alex who had been laughing with some customers on one of the book store sofas. She hated the way her contagious laugh caused her so smile in spite of herself.

As late afternoon arrived, various tables in the coffee shop were taken with people reading their newly purchased books over a coffee or a cup of tea, a mother and daughter sat eating cake, and a young man typing feverishly typing on his laptop as he sipped iced tea. She wondered through the tables, wiping the crumbs and grease away, replaying in her mind the moment she had passed Alex the Panini. She wanted to kick herself for being so lame. Why hadn't she said anything back? How had Alex been so relaxed? She had even seemed a little smug. Piper wished that she could have acted unfazed; in fact she wished that she _was_ unfazed, but something about Alex caused her to become undone, just as she always had. Piper looked up, wondering if Alex was anywhere to be seen, and satisfied that her ex-girlfriend wasn't near, she let out a sigh of relief, and moved to the next table.

"Long time, no see" the raspy voice came from behind.

Piper closed her eyes before turning around to face Alex.

"Yes," she said, struggling to find her words.

Alex held a book in one hand, and tucked a curl of dark hair behind her ear with the other. Piper felt her heart skip a beat, and then feeling annoyed with herself, she frowned. "Is there something you need?"

"Not very friendly," Alex said with a tone of amusement. Piper watched, transfixed, as the tip of the woman's tongue slowly ran across her full, soft lips. Piper mirrored her actions, and licked her own dry lips. Her eyes widened as she realised she was staring, and feeling annoyed at herself once more, she said "go away, Alex."

The dark haired woman leaned in a little closer, "I can't," she said, a wicked look in her eyes, "I work here."

Piper rolled her eyes, "well you don't work _here_" she said, pointing her eyes across the tables of the coffee shop.

Alex's eyes narrowed, "anyone would think _I_ left _you_ in Paris," she sneered, walking away and sliding the book onto a nearby shelf.

Piper watched after her, regretting her cold behaviour. She thought back to Paris, and how, as she searched for her passport, Alex had been sat on the bed in shock at the news that her mother had passed away. She'd wanted to comfort her, to ease her pain, but she needed to leave while she was still determined to do so, before Alex used her as her mule again and had her transporting another suitcase of heroin across the borders. Alex's eyes had been filled with pain as she turned away from her, an image Piper had never managed to erase from her mind. She had convinced herself that leaving Alex had been the right decision, though it felt as though she had left her heart behind with her. And as she had fallen back into a day to day routine in New York, a life far removed from the criminal lifestyle she had lived with Alex, she had become further convinced that she had been right to leave when she did, even if Alex had just lost her mother. But right now, as she came face to face with her ex-girlfriend, and felt that familiar stir of desire mixed with the ache in her heart when remembering the pain in those eyes, she doubted that her decision to leave had been the right one.

"Piper?" a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts. Startled, she looked up to see Larry beaming at her. She looked from Alex, who was now in conversation with another member of staff, and then looked back at her boyfriend.

"Are you ok?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

"Yes," she lied, "I was just daydreaming," she smiled at him, "what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to stop by and see how your day was going."

"I replied to your text," Piper felt a little annoyed, aware that her boss and colleagues could be watching them. That Alex could be watching them.

"I know," he smiled brightly, "but I just wanted to see you... you look cute in your little apron."

Larry leaned in to give her kiss but she ducked it, "not here," she told him, swatting his arm playfully. She looked back to see Alex watching them, and rolled her eyes at amused look painted upon her ex-girlfriends face.

Larry looked over his shoulder in the direction of Alex. Piper grabbed his arm, "I finish in an hour," she told him, "you can kiss me all you like, then."

"Deal," Larry said with a smile.


	6. Never Friends

**A/N: I just wanted to thank you all for your comments, its been a long time since I've written any kind of fanfiction (around 6 years I think) so its really encouraging to have such positive feedback.**

**This chapter is nearly all Vauseman, so it was quite a lot of fun to write. I have actually just bought a new laptop, so that addedwith the fact I'm trialling some non windows word processing software has meant this chapter have been written during a bit of a frustrating battle. I think technology won. Hopefully there wont be too many mistakes. **

**Oh and as a little disclosure, obviously I don't own any of the characters from OITNB, and this chapter also includes some heavy quoting from the show.**

**Chapter 6 - Never Friends**

The week at work had been much like any other, except for the presence of her skittish ex-girlfriend. Alex had spent the weekend coming terms with the idea that she could be seeing a lot of her ex-girlfriend. As Monday morning arrived, she still felt the same anxiety, her mind continued to circle around the woman who had broken her heart three years ago, but she had gained a level of control. She knew Piper, she knew what made the woman tick, she knew what she liked, what she disliked. She knew how to get under her skin. Piper, she had concluded, would fundamentally still be the same person, only in different circumstances, though she didn't know what those circumstances might be..

It was early morning, the California sun was beaming down on Alex as she leaned against the brick wall at the back of the book store. She had arrived at 7am ready for the 7.30am delivery which she receipted every Thursday. Alex gave a yawn as she checked the time on her phone. It was now 8.45, she had moved the boxes into the stock room and was enjoying an unofficial break while it was still quiet. Wednesday had been Piper's day off, and it had been her day off the day before that, so she hadn't seen her since Monday.

"Coffee?" A familiar voice was calling from inside the stock room. A voice Alex had not expected to hear.

"Piper?" She walked back inside the stock room to find the Blonde trying to navigate her way through the maze of shelving units, "over here!"

The blonde turned around and walked the towards her, her lips curled into what Alex recognised as her shy smile. "Nikki's dealing with some big mix-up with the bread order, she asked me to bring you this," she held the paper cup of coffee towards Alex, "said you wouldn't be able to survive your shift without it. And I know how you are in the mornings.." She looked down at her feet as though she had said too much.

"Right," Alex took the cup and eyed Piper with curiosity. She was fairly certain her best friend, knowing their history, wouldn't have made Piper her first choice for the coffee delivery, but maybe there hadn't been anyone else around.. She thought back to Pipers arctic behaviour, and how she had told her to "go away." She wanted to give Piper the cold shoulder.

"I put two sugars in there," Piper shoved her hands into the front pocket of her apron, she had always been a fidgety when nervous. Alex looked at her coffee and suppressed the smile threatening to break through her lips; Piper had remembered how she took her coffee.

"Aren't I sweet enough already?" she cocked her eyebrow suggestively.

Piper couldn't think of a response and so she simply gave an eye roll.

"I don't remember any complaints from you in that department," the raspy voice teased.

Piper's eyes widened, she lifted her chin in the air, "I don't think that's very appropriate in the workplace," she said curtly.

Alex laughed, "it wasn't very appropriate on a tourist beach in Bali, but we made it work"

Piper was unable to stop the smile as her mind flooded with the memory of the pair of them drinking strong cocktails on the white sandy beach. She could clearly remember their sexcapades, which weren't limited to but most definitely included the beach in Bali.

Her eyes met Alex's, and for the first time, she didn't look away.

"Hey Pipes," Alex's voice was softer now, more serious. She was saying hello to her properly this time.

"Hey Alex," Piper spoke back, mirroring her tone.

"How've ya been?" Alex made an attempt at casual, although their situation was anything but.

"I'm doing OK," Piper said, although there were a million other things she wanted to say, but felt that she shouldn't. It wouldn't be fair to, not on Alex, not on Larry, and not on herself.

"Yeah?" Alex had hoped for more, "me too."

"Nikki told me you left the business?"

Referring to the cartel as "the company" or "the business" had always been their way of communicating about Alex's previous line of work.

Alex nodded her head, "I've gone straight.. apparently I'm not the only one?" she teased.

"A lot has changed, I've changed.." Piper didn't feel confident about what she was saying. Had she changed that much in three years? Her life certainly had, but had she?

"Are you sure about that?"

"I have a boyfriend now," Piper stated, as though this was evidence enough.

"Right," Alex said with a smirk.

Piper looked at her for a moment, she wanted to challenge her but decided to change the subject back to Alex instead, "so, when did you leave?"

"Ran," Alex corrected her, "I ran away a few weeks after you left.."

"You ran?" Piper had known this from Nikki, but she wasn't sure how Alex had outsmarted the head of an international drug cartel.

"Yep, from Cambodia," Alex folded her arms across her chest.

"And Kubra?"

"Has no idea where I am.."

"Has no idea where you.." Piper repeated, she was suddenly filled with concern, "Alex, what if he finds you?"

"He hasn't yet," Alex simply stated, though she couldn't help but think back to the week before when she had thought she had been followed from New York. It had just been a coincidence.

"Alex! He will find you!"

Alex gave a shrug, perhaps if she acted like she wasn't bothered, Piper would calm down.

It was a little heavy for this time in the morning, but she didn't mind the weight of the conversation, it was the first time she and Piper had properly spoken in over three years.

"Ugh!" Piper's hands came out of her pocket, tightly balled into fists. "That is just so like you, isn't it?!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Her eyebrows dipped into a frown.

"You may not care about yourself enough, but other people do!"

Alex took in a deep breath, her strategy for keeping calm, "not enough to stick around though, eh?"

"That was different!" Piper contested.

They stared at each other in silence, both with so much more to say, but neither wanting to continue the argument. If only they had been able to show such a level of control three years ago, thought Alex.

"I better get back up there," said Piper eventually. She turned to leave, but felt a soft hand wrap around her wrist, not so tight as to cause any discomfort but tight enough to stop her in her tracks.

"I'm sorry," Alex spoke.

Piper could see the sincerity in her eyes, and she knew without the need for confirmation, that the apology wasn't meant for just now, it was meant for then. It was meant for three years ago.

"Me too," she answered, and she was sorry, she had always been sorry. It was only now, faced with the woman who had stolen her heart all those years ago, that she realised she would never stop being sorry.

Piper looked down at the long soft fingers now loosely holding her wrist, aware that it was the first time she and Alex had touched since Paris. She watched as the hand released her and moved back towards its owner, she looked back up at Alex, her heart beating hard in her chest. She wanted to reach out for her, wanted to take those lips between her own and kiss her as hard as she could.. but she couldn't, she had Larry now. She felt a little resentment for her boyfriend, and then guilt knowing that he didn't deserve it. It wasn't his fault that he was in the way...

"I'd better go," Piper said.

Alex nodded and checked her watch, it was just past 9.00am. She needed to get on with organising the new stock.

* * *

Saturday night came around quickly, Piper had been fortunate enough to land Sunday off, so as she took a sip of her margarita, she knew that she wouldn't have to worry about suffering a groggy head at work the next day. Larry would probably tease her a little, but she knew he would help to nurse her aching head.

While this was the first time Piper had socialised with anyone from work outside of the confines of the book store, she knew that everyone would be on their best behaviour, or at least until the effects of the alcohol set in. She had decided, especially with Alex present, to err on the edge of caution.

Piper could see from the corner of her eye that Alex was watching her again, as she had been all evening. She wasn't even hiding it. She looked past her boss who was telling her a story from a previous "Book Ends" night out, he obviously found the story quite humorous, so she laughed when he did, and nodded her head encouragingly. She watched as Alex tipped her head back to drink from her beer bottle, exposing the pale skin of her neck. Piper bit her lip, thinking about how she would place small kisses along the soft skin there.

Alex placed the bottle back onto the bar. It was nearing midnight and she hadn't spoken to Piper yet this evening, in fact she hadn't spoken to her since Thursday morning. She'd known then that whatever it was that existed between her and Piper, it was still very much alive. Although she was curious to explore it once more, she'd been hurt by the woman before, and while she wanted to protect herself from ever having to feel that pain again, there was something inevitable about Piper.

She smirked into the bottle as she remembered the dark haired man who had visited the store on Monday afternoon, he must have been Piper's boyfriend. While her stomach had twisted with jealousy as she watched the man move in closer to her ex-girlfriend, she had been satisfied with the piercing look she'd received from the blonde as she dodged his lips.

Alex turned around in her stool, Nikki was beside her in deep conversation with one of the guys from the store. Piper was talking with Rick, the manager of the coffee shop, and she looked bored. Alex caught her eye, and held her gaze before Piper moved her eyes away and attempted to look interested in whatever her manager was saying. She thought back to how she had once hoped she could win her ex-girlfriend back, it had been that hope which helped her through her escape from the cartel. But when she had settled into her new life, she'd let go of that hope, resigned to the fact that Piper was just another story from her past. Had Piper done the same? Was she avoiding Alex because she didn't want to think about "them", or because she did? Was Piper scared?

Alex took another swig of her bottle, emptying it as she thought back to the touch of their hands in the stock room, and their apologies. Had Piper meant that she was sorry for leaving her in Paris? Of course, it wasn't nearly as good enough of an apology for breaking her heart, but she had seemed sincere, there had been some pain in those blue eyes.

"Hey Alex!" A pretty red head had arrived suddenly, interrupting her thoughts. She placed her wine glass down beside Alex and stood unnecessarily close to her. Alex didn't have to turn around to see who it was.

"Hi Jules" she took the glass and helped herself to the contents, "when did you get here?" She looked up, red curls of hair framed the pale face of the woman beside her, the long dark eyelashes fluttered over deep emerald eyes.

"Just now, saw you watching the blonde in the corner," the woman licked her lips, "thought I would see if I could change your mind?"

Alex looked at Piper. She felt Jules fingertips as they touched her chin, softly but firmly, the woman turned Alex's face towards her own.

"Don't tell me you were considering turning down my offer?" the red haired woman seemed amused, she closed the distance between them, the curls of her hair tickling Alex's face, "I'm a sure thing.." She whispered into her ear.

Alex considered this for a moment. Jules was good in bed, she was sexy, and on a physically basis only, the two women knew each other well. Alex knew that Jules was interested in changing the status of their relationship, but the red haired woman lacked something.. She couldn't place her finger on what that something was, but she just couldn't see the woman as anything other than a fuck buddy. Opting to make sure the woman understood the parameters of their relationship, she said "why don't you come back later?"

"_I'm_ second choice to _her_? She's not even your type!" The woman spat.

Alex rolled her eyes.

The red haired moved in a little closer, "I could show you a much better time," she placed a soft lingering kiss on her lips.

Alex looked past the red head, she could sense that Piper had been watching their exchange, and couldn't suppress a smirk.

"See.." the red haired woman had misunderstood the expression, "I knew you'd see sense."

Alex rolled her eyes again, "Excuse me," she brushed past Jules as she jumped down from the bar stool.

"Save my seat," Alex spoke to Nikki, and left without another word to the red-haired woman. She weaved her way through the sea of bodies and walked towards the toilets. There was a small queue. She leaned against the wall, and smiled as Piper headed towards her.

"What is your problem?" Piper spat at her.

Alex gave her a shrug, "no problem," and held her hands up, palms facing forward in defence.

Piper's eyes narrowed, "why do you have to do this?"

"Do what?" Alex folded her arms across her chest, trying to suppress a smile.

"This!" Piper's fist was balled in frustration.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do."

"Is it working?" Alex winked playfully, knowing how she was aggravating the woman and enjoying her eaction.

"No!"

Alex smirked, she knew better.

"Don't give me that look," Piper warned.

"Or what?" Alex raised her eyebrows, threats from Piper were like barks from a puppy.

"Just don't, you can't just.." she started, but couldn't find the words to finish her sentence.

"I can't do what?" She leaned in close, knowing that Piper had always struggled when she whispered into her ear. It was too loud in the bar for her hear the small gasp that escape Pipers lips, but Alex felt sure she'd achieved it.

Piper stumbled back, bumping into someone walking by, she apologised before turning to face Alex. The queue moved slightly, so she moved with it, "where's your girlfriend?"

"My girlfriend?" Alex asked.

"Yeah."

Alex smiled, she ran her tongue along her back teeth. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Piper shrugged it off, "Never mind."

"No," Alex was smiling wider now, determined to get it out of her, "what do you mean by that?"

"I said, nothing, never mind," Piper's voice had gotten an octave higher.

"What, did you expect me to wait for you to come around?" Alex asked, wondering if Piper was actually jealous of her playmate.

"Come around?" the blonde asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah."

"As in "get back together" come around? Are you kidding me?!" Piper exclaimed, "I have a boyfriend."

"Right."

"You know what? Do not confuse this," Piper looked at Alex with frustration, "maybe, just maybe, we will get friendly again. Maybe."

"We were never friends, Piper." The words felt blunter than she'd meant them.

"We weren't?"

"No. Not for a second," she answered, "I loved you, I loved having sex with you."

As their eyes met, it was as though everything around them had vanished in light of this sudden truth.

"And more importantly," Alex broke through the tension between them, "I'm not suggesting that I want you back, you park slope narcissist!"

Piper looked at her with a mixture of hurt and amusement, "well that's alright then, because I'm with Larry now.." she said, more of a reminder to herself than to Alex.

"Larry?!" Alex repeated his name, "oh you have gone straight, haven't you Pipes?" she joked.

Piper gave her a light punch on the arm, "stop it," she warned with a smile. She felt bad about Larry. He was sat at home waiting for her, clueless that she was in the company of her ex-girlfriend. With that thought in mind, she made an excuse to Alex who responded with a knowing look, and she disappeared back into the crowd of the bar.

Once Alex had refreshed herself in the bathroom, she returned back to her stool beside the bar, relieved that Jules hadn't waited for her.

"Thanks for leaving me with her," Nikki complained, "the crazy bitch ranted to me about you being an emotional fuck up, incapable of human relationships or some shit."

"She's probably right," she laughed.

"Did I see you talking to Piper?" Nikki asked.

"Fuck me, do you see everything Nichols?!"

"I am a lesbian god, I am all seeing and all knowing." Nikki bowed her head.

"Bullshit, you're just a nosy fucker!"

"Yes, but I did see you talking to Piper, didn't I?" Nikki asked, her tone more serious.

"Yeah, we talked.. she's got a boyfriend," Alex rolled her eyes, summarising thejr conversation.

"And that's relevant because you want to dine at her pink taco?"

"No," Alex laughed at her friends grotesque description, "well, I mean, maybe.."

Nikki nodded her head in understanding, "but you're worried about the sour cream?"

"Ew!" Alex looked at her best friend in disgust, "No!"

"So whatcha gonna do?"

Alex shrugged, "To hell if I fucking know."

"Chad!" Nikki called out the name of one of the bartenders, "Four jagers," she ordered, and wiggled her eyebrows at Alex, "tomorrow's gonna hurt," she warned Alex.

Alex took the first shot back with no issue, and watched as Nikki took the second without delay. She followed suit.

As the bar became quieter, Alex had a better view of Piper. She was laughing with two of the other girls who worked at the coffee shop. Alex knew that she shouldn't pursue Piper, not if she had a boyfriend, but she still felt that she had a claim on her. Deciding that now would be a good time to leave, before alcohol completely clouded her judgement, Alex finished the last of her beer and agreed with Nikki that she would wait for her outside until the woman had finished her drink and had said goodbye to some of her friends.

The air outside was cool but still. She leaned against the wall, and took her phone out from her pocket. It was 3am. The store opened later on a Sunday, she didn't need to be in work until 10.30am. At least she would get some sleep.

"Aleeeex," a high pitched voice slurred her name. The blonde stumbled towards her.

"Piper," she grabbed her firmly, her hands resting at the woman's hips as she tried to steady her.

"Alex," she smiled back at her dreamily.

"Ok, ok, I've seen that look before, let's get you into a cab and back to your Larry."

"Fuck Larry," Piper frowned, "I didn't mean that," she said, conflicted.

Alex reassured her, "I know you didn't."

Steadily, Alex guided Piper towards the taxi cue, "I'll wait with you until you're in a cab."

Piper gave Alex a smile, "where's Nikki?" she asked.

"She's finishing up."

"She's a good friend," Piper nodded, "she cares, you know?"

"I know," Alex smiled.

"Hey Alex?" Piper's eyebrows dipped in thought.

"Yeah?"

"I missed you.."

"I missed you too, kid," Alex smiled, she was tempted to believe this was just the alcohol talking, but knew that Piper meant it.

"Hey Alex?"

"Yeah?"

Soft lips were suddenly against hers, she could taste tequila, and although she wanted to kiss the blonde back, she knew that she shouldn't. Piper was drunk, and would only regret it in the morning. If they were to do this again, Alex wanted them to do it right.

Piper stepped back with a hurt expression.

"Not now," Alex took one of Pipers hands and held it between her own, "not like this."

Piper nodded, and then she threw up.

Alex laughed, she rubbed small circles on Pipers back as the woman bent forward coughing, "thanks for that, I was just thinking of painting my shoes in that exact shade of vomit."


	7. Hung Over (You)

A/N: Thank you for all your responses. I appreciate your encouraging comments. I'm not sure what else to say, so...

**Chapter 7 - Hung Over (You)**

What was that shuffling noise?! Piper frowned at the sound of footsteps tiptoeing around her. She didn't want to open her eyes, her head was pounding. Cautiously she opened one eye. The room was unfamiliar, she was wrapped up in deep red bed sheets, and she could see the outline of a woman moving carefully around the room. She blinked and opened both eyes, the figure came into focus. Alex. The tall dark haired woman was rummaging through draws, her long, toned legs exposed as she moved around in her underwear. Piper shut her eyes tightly. 'No, no, no…'

The icy feeling of panic spread through her as she tried to cast her mind back to the earlier hours of the morning. She hadn't slept with her ex-girlfriend had she?! No. She would remember that, right? What about Larry? Wouldn't he be worried sick, wondering where she was?

"Fuck!"

Piper opened her eyes to see Alex balancing uneasily on one foot, her hand cradling the the other, "Shit"

Piper watched as the familiar face cast a glare towards an upwards facing plug.

"Those will get you every time," Piper warned with a smile.

"Fuckers!" Alex growled at the plug. Her expression eased as she looked towards Piper.

"I didn't mean to wake you," she apologised.

Piper looked at her with an unspoken question.

"Don't worry," Alex laughed, "I draw the line at taking advantage of drunk exes who chuck up on my shoes. I slept on the couch." She could see Piper wincing at the light coming in through the part-open blinds in the window, "you should sleep it off before you go home.."

Piper groaned, "Why are you up?"

"I have work in an hour," Alex grimaced.

Piper screwed up her nose, "ouch."

"I know.. Nikki's working today too, so you will have the place to yourself until you're ready to face the world."

As much as Piper wanted nothing more than to remain horizontal on the soft sheets which were faintly scented with the smell Alex's shampoo, she didn't want to impose.

"I better get back to Larry before he sends out a search party.."

"No need, I text him for you," Alex spoke over her shoulder, as she pulled a black t-shirt from her draw. She pulled it over her head and set about the task of finding her work pants.

"You did what?!"

"From your phone, I text him. Said I was Nikki, and that you were crashing here for the night. Don't worry, your dirty little secret is safe."

"He does know about you.." Piper felt as though she had something to prove, "Like, he knows about me and you.. us.."

Alex studied Piper for a moment. She was surprised, she'd expected Piper to have swept their relationship under the rug like dust. A secret life that nobody knew about, expect for Polly, her best friend. If Larry knew that Piper had an ex-girlfriend, did he also know about the business? Did he know about how Piper had helped to shift a significant amount of heroin across the world? She felt sure that he didn't. Piper didn't like to take accountability for anything she wasn't proud of, and in the privileged upper middle class world which Piper had come from, and probably Larry too, a life in crime was just unexplainable, inexcusable.

"And how did that go down?"

Piper shrugged, "Larry is very.. understanding," she tried to find a word to accurately describe her boyfriend. Larry _had_ been understanding to an extent, he had understood Piper's lesbian relationship as being a rebellious phase, and she hadn't exactly corrected him on the details. It had been too raw to talk about the emotional significance of their relationship at the time she had met Larry. Too messy to explain.

"I bet!" Alex scoffed, "how does he feel about the whole work thing?"

"He doesn't know about that," Piper admitted, "I didn't think there was any need to worry him.."

Alex smirked, "what would he need to be worried about?"

"Nothing," Piper answered a little too quickly. And then it hit her. Last night, she had tried to kiss Alex.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have.."

Alex could see the pain in those blue eyes.

"Hey," she interrupted, "don't worry about it, you were drunk, I was there, your feelings were probably all mixed up. We can just blame the Tequila?"

Piper closed her head and groaned, "I'm such a dick!"

Alex shrugged, "just a little bit.."

"You didn't kiss me back."

It was a statement, not a question, but Alex answered anyway.

"No, I didn't. I'm quite proud of myself for that actually. I wanted to.. You know me, Pipes, I have very little self-control when it comes to.." she paused as she thought about what she was going to say, but went with the truth anyway, "when it comes to you," she finished. The words hung awkwardly in the air for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry," Piper re-apologised.

"Like I said, it was the tequila."

Alex grabbed a pair of pants from her wardrobe and pulled them on. She left the room without another word. Piper rolled onto her back and stared blankly at the ceiling above. She thought back to the night before, she could remember being stood in the taxi queue, she could remember Alex taking care of her. It had felt so good to be so close to her again. She had missed her ex-girlfriend, and the alcohol allowed her forget her inhibitions and tell her so. She replayed Alex's response in her head, "I missed you too, kid" and she allowed herself a smile.

"Drink this," Alex passed Piper a glass of cloudy looking liquid. Piper held her nose and swallowed the bitter contents.

"That stuff is worse than the headache," she complained.

Alex disappeared again and reappeared with a plate full of buttered toast, "should help to absorb some of it," she explained, "I'd make bacon and eggs or something, but I can't deal with any loud noises."

"Toast is good," Piper took a slice, suddenly hungry at the smell of it.

Alex sat beside her on the bed as she ate. A few years ago she wouldn't have thought anything about leaving Piper in bed, it had been normal, but it felt strange seeing her ex-girlfriend cuddled into her bed sheets, familiar and at the same time, unfamiliar. She wondered if Piper felt the same, and shifted around so that she could face her, "I honestly didn't think I'd get you back into my bed this soon," she joked.

"I didn't think it would happen at all," Piper countered.

Alex gave her a smirk, "next time you won't get off so lightly."

Piper frowned. Next time? Was this just some big joke to Alex? This was her _life!_

"There won't be a next time, Alex," she said in a serious tone.

"We'll see," Alex shrugged. She knew that while Piper was currently suffering a moral dilemma, the younger woman felt exactly the same way she did. It was up to Piper to figure it out on her own. Alex didn't like drama. She cast her mind back to the beginning of their relationship, when her girlfriend at the time had found Piper in their bed. That had been messy. Then there was Jules – their arraignment had been so simple, sex with no strings attached. No emotions equals no mess. But somewhere along the line, the sultry red head had a change of heart. Alex didn't like drama, but it seemed to like her. She checked her watch and stood up from the bed, "the door is on a latch, it locks behind itself, spare towels are in the bottom draw, help yourself to anything you need.. I'll see you Monday?"

Piper nodded her head, "Monday," she agreed.

She could hear Nikki's voice outside the room as the pair of them left the apartment and headed to work. Piper sat up and looked around the room. It looked like Alex, she thought. It had a look of attempted tidiness lacking in the willpower required to maintain it. If it wasnt for the homely mess, the room could have been that of a show home. There was a mixture of furniture, some newer looking and some more antique pieces, somehow it worked well. Alex had always had an eye for interior design. Piper recalled the apartment Alex had in New York, she had filled it with expensive furnishings, and top technology. She had a real talent for mixing new and old, and creating comfortable yet stylish spaces. Piper had often told Alex that she could make a career out of her vision, but Alex was much more passionate about her illegitimate means of making money, opting for excitement over stability, opting for sporadic but massive pay outs rather than a regular wage. Piper wondered whether Alex was happy with her life now, working in a book shop at the lower end of the pay scale didn't seem to suit her somehow.

Piper stepped out of the bed, her feet touching the cold wooden floor. It felt good, her hang over came with a raised temperature. She walked around the room slowly, looking for things which could tell her more about Alex's life now. There was a photograph of her mother on top of the chest of draws, Piper picked it up, finding herself suddenly filled with guilt and sadness. She put the photo-frame back exactly as she had found it, and continued to peruse the room. There wasn't a lot of overly personal items, but she did see a collection of photographs of Alex with Nikki and some of their friends. She flicked through them, frowning each time she saw the familiar red haired woman appear at the side or towards the back of the photos. She was pretty, Piper noted with jealousy.

She left the room and headed across the living area into the kitchen, she took a bottle of water from the fridge and held it against the back of her neck. She looked at the clock on the wall, it was nearing 10.30, she looked around for her phone and found it on the kitchen counter.

**Larry: Thank you for taking care of Piper, I will pick her up in the morning, whats your address?**

**Larry: Piper are you awake yet?xx**

**Larry: Let me know where you are and I will come for you x**

**Larry: Piper its a Sunday, our only day off together, are you coming home?x**

She hit the call button beside his name and waited for him to answer.

"Piper!" his voice seemed happy yet aggrivated.

"Don't yell!" Piper held the phone away from her ear.

"Sore head?"

"I feel like my head has been ran over by a tractor.. and then reversed.."

"Tequila?"

"Always Tequila," Piper said with a smile.

"At least you had a good night, did you make any new friends?" Sometimes Larry spoke to her like a parent.

"Sort of," she thought about Alex.. they had become friends this weekend, hadn't they? Would they ever really be 'just friends'? She couldn't think about that now.

"So, are you ready for me to pick you up?"

Suddenly occurred to Piper that she didn't know where she was. She explained this to Larry, who told her to look out of the window for the street name, but it was too far make out.

"I'll ring you back," she said and hung the phone up. Surely there would be some post somewhere with the address on it? She started to scan the Kitchen surfaces looking for an address. Having no luck, she moved into the living area where she found a magazine rack. She picked out a white envelope.

"Alex Miller?" she looked at the envelope with curiosity. It had never occurred to her that Alex may have been going by another name, although it made perfect sense. Still, she thought about Kubra, and worried for her safety. It may have been years since Alex had made an escape, but she made him a lot of money, and she knew too much about the business. She could give information to the feds or a rival cartel. It was surprising to her that they hadn't yet found Alex.

She looked at the address on the envelope, and sent it to Larry in a text. He replied to say he would be there in half an hour.

Piper ripped the lip of the envelope off and scrawled her phone number on it with a pen. She held it between her fingers for a moment, thinking about what she hoped to achieve by opening a line of contact between herself and Alex. She thought about Larry and how hurt he would be if he knew, and thinking better of it she crumpled it up and pushed it back into her pocket.

No sooner had she sat down before Larry text her to say he was waiting for her outside. She grabbed her phone, and her purse and headed for the door. She pulled the ball of paper from her pocket, and straightened out the creases. She knew that she shouldn't, but she left it on Alex's pillow anyway.

Once she had arrived back into the comforts of her home, Piper enjoyed a hot shower and changed into a pair of pyjama shorts and t-shirt and curled up on the couch. Larry ordered in Chinese food and Piper channel hopped through the hundreds of channels which had nothing of real interest. She settled on a recent drama series based on a woman's prison. She jumped as her phone buzzed on the arm of the sofa. She looked at the phone, and smiled at her best friends name. "Polly!" she answered, moving quickly into the bedroom for privacy. She had partly hoped that it had been Alex, the store closed earlier on a Sunday, so she should have been home hours ago and she hadn't yet heard from her.

"Piper!" Polly's voice was excitedly high pitched, "how is life in tinsletown?!"

"It's good, Larry's enjoying his new job.." she brought her friend up to speed with things, and skirted around the issue that she really wanted to discuss. Polly was literally the only person who she could talk about this with. Eventually, in a hurried whisper, she said "Alex is here!"

"Alex? Alex the Supercunt Alex?!"

"Yes," Piper frowned, "shh, I haven't told Larry."

"You said she was there? Where is there? Is she there with you? Piper! You-

"No," Piper interrupted her friend before she had a chance to rant, "she's not with me now. I work with her. Well, I work at the place where she works."

"Piper, are you turning back into a lesbian?"

"No, Polly, I told you.. you don't just turn-" she sighed, she was too tired to get into this right now, "no. I'm not doing anything... lesbian."

"Do you want to?"

Polly knew Piper. She had been there when she returned from Paris. She'd seen first hand, just how difficult it had been for Piper. It had been as though Alex was a drug, designed and created just for Piper, and when she got back to New York, she'd had to go cold Turkey. This right now, this could be a relapse.

"No!" Piper tried the lie out, but decided to be honest, "well, maybe.."

"Piper, Larry is a decent guy! He loves you, you love him.. dont you?"

"Of course I love Larry but.."

"But Alex is Supercunt, remember? She's destructive Piper. You broke up with her for a reason."

Piper rolled her eyes, she had half expected this reaction. Polly hated Alex. She hoped her friend would calm down enough to at least listen to her.

"What if the reasons we broke up are no longer relevant?"

"Did she stop being a Supercunt?" Polly asked, her voice dripping with scepticism, "you cant actually be serious about this Piper?"

Piper wasn't sure what exactly it was that she felt, but she no longer felt certain about a future with Larry.

"I don't know, my head is a total mess Polls.."

Polly remained silent for a short while, trying to think of some advice.

"OK, Hypothetically speak, lets say Alex said to you tomorrow, 'Hey Piper'" the woman tried to mimic the raspyness of Alex's voice, "_'I want you, I need you, run away with me!'_ what would you do?!"

Piper laughed at her friends lame attempt of impersonating Alex, "she wouldnt say that."

"Hypothetically Piper,"

"Hypothetical Piper would jump her bones."

"And unhypothetical Piper?"

"Unhypothetical Piper is confused right now and doesn't know what she would do!"

"Here in lies the problem," Polly said, "if you don't know what you would do, then you aren't fully committed to Larry."

Piper nodded at her rational argument.

"And,"Polly continued, "I think it also means you're not ready to commit to Alex yet either."

"So what do I do?"

"You do nothing, you just see how things go for now. Seeing Alex again may have just stirred up some old feelings, it might not mean anything.." Polly advised, "And maybe that's why you don't feel fully committed to Larry right now. You guys were solid before, you've just moved across the country together!"

Piper nodded with a frown, all of this made perfect logical sense but logical sense did not necessarily make emotional sense, and she couldn't just ignore the way she felt and put her feelings in a box, and push them aside as Polly was suggesting.

"So, how's things with you?"

"Well it sure isn't the same around here without you," Polly answered, happy for the change in conversation, "I miss you, the baby bump misses you.."

"I miss you both too,",Piper smiled sadly, she was going to miss the birth of her best friends baby, and she knew that Polly hadn't quite forgiven her for that. It was an unspoken truth but an obvious one.

She spent the next hour on the phone to her best friend, with occasional interruptions from Larry. She went to bed feeling bad for her boyfriend, but while she was trying to figure out this whole Alex thing, she wanted some space. She plugged the phone charger into her phone, and saw that she had a text from a number she didn't recognise. Alex. Her heart skipped a beat. She looked over her shoulder at Larry who was sat with a small pile of papers in his lap, his pen tucked behind his ear. "Do you mind if I keep the lamp on, I just want to go through some of this before tomorrow," he asked. Piper told him it was fine, and turned over to read the text. She saved the number as "Lex" just to be safe.

**Lex: Guess who?**

**Piper: Alex Vause, I mean, Miller.**

**Lex: "Who is Alex Vause?"**

**Piper: Just some ex, nobody special.**

**Lex: Nobody special eh? How's the head?**

**Piper: A bit better now, but I'm not touching Tequila ever again.**

**Lex: I've heard that one before.**

**Piper: Hah! How are you?**

**Lex: Tired, just about to get into bed, its a shame you're not in it tonight.**

Piper paused for a moment, trying to think of the best way to respond. She placed her phone face down on the bed and looked back over her shoulder at Larry.

"Sorry," he said, feeling her eyes on him, "I won't be much longer."

Piper picked her phone back and stared at the last text. She thought about how sharing a bed with Alex was definitely preferable. But should she play along? She shouldn't, not with Larry right beside her..

**Lex: "Too much?"**

Piper smiled. Alex wasn't usually one for backtracking on her words.

**Piper: Just thinking.**

**Lex: Do you need a moment ;-P**

Piper couldn't help but let out a small laugh. She turned to look at Larry who had an eyebrow raised.

"Just one of the girls from work," she said - it wasn't a lie, "telling me about her crazy journey home last night," - that was.

Larry nodded and turned his attention back to his work.

**Piper: No, you goof. I'm in bed with Larry, and I'm thinking about you.**

**Lex: Gross. We don't exactly use the same equipment..**

**Piper: Not like that, Miss One Track Mind. I mean, I can't stop thinking about us.**

**Lex: Me too.**

Piper felt her heart skip another beat. She took a deep breath. Was this really happening?

**Piper: Really?**

**Lex: Really Really.**

**Piper: This is fucked up, right? I mean, I have a boyfriend.. and you're, you!**

**Lex: I'm just going to take that as a compliment.**

Piper paused, she needed a moment. It felt as though her whole life had changed in just minutes. Was she really the kind of person to have an affair? She thought back to when she had been a child and she had discovered her dad kissing a woman who wasn't her mother. It had felt like a nightmare. But this was Alex. This was the love of her life. She thought about Larry, and how it would be unfair on him to cheat, but then she thought about what Polly had said, this Alex thing, it could be temporary, it could be just old feelings coming to the surface. She had to know, but she didn't want to loose Larry, she loved him too. It wouldn't be an affair, she tried to justify, it would just be weighing her options. Though she knew if she did this, there was no going back, and she also knew, deep down at least, that if it came to it, Alex would win over Larry, hands down. She just wasn't ready for it yet.

**Piper: Let's go out for lunch or something.**

**Lex: Are you asking me out on a date Piper Chapman?**

**Piper: Yes. I'm off on Wednesday and Friday this week.**

**Lex: Wednesday works for me.**

**Piper: I don't know LA, you can pick where?**

**Lex: OK. I need to hit the hay, see you tomorrow?x**

Piper smiled despite her guilt.

**Piper: Sweet dreams x**


	8. First Date

**A/N: Hey guys, just a little note to say that as I live in the UK, I know very little about the geography of California, so a lot of the locations mentioned etc have just been results of google searches and stuff I've seen on tv and films. I've tried my best to be as accurate as I can, though some of it, I've just made up. There's a bit more direct quoting from OITNB. I don't feel too confident in this chapter, I feel like I spend too much time explaining things which have previously been explained, so I need to step away from that in future chapters..**

**Also, where I describe the "second song," the song in mind is Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran.**

**Let me know your thoughts, please review!**

**Chapter 8: First Date**

When Piper awoke on Wednesday morning she could feel the restlessness of butterflies in her stomach, they hadn't stopped fluttering since before she had gone to sleep. She woke at the same time as she did every day, and made her way to the kitchen to start the coffee machine. Larry joined her shortly later, and poured himself a large bowl of cereal. Piper sat with him, glad that they could enjoy silence together.

"Isn't today your day off?" Larry asked once he had finished his breakfast.

Piper nodded, "Today and Friday, working all weekend."

Larry wrinkled his nose up, "We need to find you a job where you get weekends off."

Piper gave a non-committal nod of the head and busied herself with pouring them both some coffee.

"Are you doing anything today?" Larry asked, "I've got a bit of a busy day ahead, the producers are stopping by and I think we may be going out for dinner so I may not be home until late.."

Piper allowed herself a small smile knowing this meant that she had more time with Alex. She turned to face Larry, "that sounds exciting," she spoke as she passed over his mug.

"You don't mind?" His eyes were filled with concern.

"Larry, this is your career! Of course I don't mind!" she ran her hand through his dark hair thinking about how she used to show her boyfriend affection, "and anyway, one of the girls from the Bookstore is meeting me later today, so maybe we can go grab dinner instead of lunch."

Larry took her hand between his own, "I love you."

Piper smiled at him, she knew that although her feelings were a chaotic mess right now, she couldn't let it show. And she _did _love, Larry. "I love you too," she said back, leaning in to give him a light peck on the lips. She could feel Larry's attempt to pull her in for more and she shook her head and simply said "morning breath."

As Larry got changed, Piper went through her wardrobe trying to decide on what to wear. Alex had said to be quite casual, and to wear flats or whatever she found most comfortable. The California sunshine looked especially hot this morning, so she tried to find something light. Larry gave her a quick peck on the cheek before he left, and Piper felt herself relax. The last time she had lied about anything had been the lie about Alex's job, she had told Polly that Alex was an importer, which wasn't a lie exactly, just an omission of the truth. She tried to convince herself that this was the same, she hadn't lied to Larry, she just hadn't told him the exact truth. It was no use. She felt guilty.

Her phone suddenly buzzed, and she practically leapt across the bed to grab it, knowing it wouldn't be anyone else other than Alex.

**Lex: Good morning, ready for our date?"**

The guilt vanished in an instant, as she smiled at the screen of her phone. She had seen Alex on Monday and Tuesday, at work, they had talked a little, flirted a little, but mostly they had been busy with their work. Of course, as expected, there had been some probing and teasing from Nikki, apparently she hadn't got much out of Alex on the matter of her sleepover on Saturday night.

**Piper: Just trying to find something to wear, I wish you would just tell me where we are going.**

**Lex: I know a way to solve this problem, and it doesn't require clothes..**

**Piper: Well I'm thinking that maybe we need to just take things slow, you know, see whether we still like eachother that way.**

**Lex: Such a killjoy.**

**Piper: I'm just trying to be sensible. **

**Lex: Key word: Trying.**

Piper laughed. Alex knew as well as she did that their connection remained, and it seemed as strong, perhaps even stronger, than before. But she still wanted to be careful. Rationally it didn't seem possible to feel this way, not so soon after their reunion, but they had history, and if you took away the cartel, if you took away Larry, if you took everything else away, they were the same two people who had fallen hopelessly in love, and had never fully managed to fall back out of it.

**Piper: I'm just going to jump in the shower and then I should be ready in about an hour.**

**Alex: Thanks for the visual..**

**Piper: Try thinking with your head for a change, Vause Mouse.**

She smiled at the nickname, it had been a playful term she used to describe Alex back when they had been in one country or another, when Alex's work had started to get ontop of her, and she was hurrying around in a panic like a little scurrying mouse.

**Alex: Attempted. No use. Blood just isn't used to servicing that part of my body.**

Piper put her phone back on the bedside table and headed for the bathroom. Alex had always liked to surprise her, with shopping trips whenever she got paid for one of her "jobs", or out to a nice restaurant for a nice meal. But this was different.

After her shower, she changed quickly into the outfit she had picked out, a pair of faded denim shorts and a thin cotton vest top. She dried her hair and teased it with her curling irons so that it fell in loose curls, she remembered how Alex had always liked her hair this way. Larry had always preferred it straight or tied up. She applied a light layer of make up, and gave her eyes the smoky effect that she knew Alex loved but that Larry had always complained made her look like she was trying too hard. She couldn't help but compare the two, they were so different and offered her completely different lives.

When she felt as though she couldn't do any more to make herself feel ready she text Alex to let her know. It was nearing 9am now, and Alex had told her that they would make a day of it. She felt her stomach complain at her for not yet having any breakfast and she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before leaving her apartment and going down to wait for Alex.

She half expected a beautiful car to pull up, maybe a vintage Chevrolet or a Mustang, the type of car Alex that would suit Alex, but instead Alex arrived in a very uniform looking black car. The window rolled down, and the raspy voice called out, "hop in Kid!"

Piper slipped into the car, and smiled as she saw her ex-girlfriend. She couldn't help but stare as she settled into the seat, Alex looked stunning. Her eyes were lined with black, and the blue-green eyes looked as deep as the ocean. Her lips looked full and soft, and her jet black hair fell around her shoulders. Piper couldn't suppress the goofy smile which took over her face, she felt excited like a teenager sneaking out for the day, "so can you tell me where we are going, now?"

"Well, as you may have noticed, funds aren't what they once were.." she tapped the dashboard of the car, "so we wont be pouring champaign over each other like it costs less than water..."

The two women smiled at the memory. Alex had agreed to her output being increased, and as such, Kubra had wanted her to import on a more international basis rather than just domestic. Rather than importing into the united states, she would now be involved in moving heroin from one country to another. Kubra had struck a deal with another Cartel which had opened up the opportunity to make more money, and who best to do it than Alex. As such she would be spending much less time in the states and much more time in various countries around the world. She had managed to convince Piper to come with her. Her very first international operation had been a success, and when the money had been wired into her account, Alex had room service deliver two bottles of their best champaign up to the penthouse suite, and as they stood on the balcony overlooking the city lights at night time, she popped the bottle open and poured the hundreds of dollars of champaign over the pair of them, laughing as she did so. They had then proceeded to drink the other bottle and celebrate in Alex's most favourite way, with sex. Hours and hours of sex, followed by sleep, and then more sex in the morning.

"So I figured, as your new to the LA and all, that we should explore..."

"Explore?"

"You said you didn't know the city? So I'm gonna show you it."

"Oh, I've already been to like, Universal City and Santa Monica Pier, but I don't mind seeing them again" Piper said, hoping she hadn't ruined Alex's plans.

"No, I mean I'm going to show you My L.A"

Piper raised an eyebrow in question.

"None of that touristy shit, I'm gonna take you to some of my favourite places."

Alex started the engine and they drove away from the residential area and onto the highway. As they drove, Alex plugged her phone into the car radio and selected a playlist. As the first song started, Piper thought it may have been just chance, Alex couldn't have remembered that this song had been playing the night that they first met, that they had danced to this song like nobody else was around. But when the second song came on, a slower song, she knew that this play list had been created especially for today. The second song was a beautiful love song, one that Alex had played constantly in the earlier months of their relationship. Piper laid back into the car seat enjoying the sound of the guitar and soulful voice. She could feel Alex's eyes glancing between her and the road, and as she turned to meet them, it was only for a second but she could see the emotional vulnerability in those green blues before Alex turned her attention back on the road. Piper thought back to the first time she'd heard the song played, it was one of those lazy Sunday mornings, she had just dried off after a shower and was laid naked across the bed waiting for Alex to return back to bed. Alex had been in the kitchen attempting pancakes and had this song playing through the docking station as she cooked. When she had returned to the bedroom with the pancakes, she was covered in flour and had pancake mix, but proudly held a plate of in perfect shaped fluffy pancakes.

"Do you remember how proud you were making those pancakes from scratch?"

Alex nodded, "I've got them perfected now, you'll have to come over for breakfast sometime."

Piper laughed, "or stay over?"

Alex gave her a devilish grin, "that would be preferable."

Some time passed as more familiar songs filled the car. Piper felt nostalgic and happy, she knew that this was exactly what Alex had been trying to achieve, but it felt perfect.

"Have you had any breakfast?" Alex asked, as she pulled into a parking area.

Piper shook her head, she had almost forgotten she was hungry. She felt her stomach give a rumble, "no."

"Good, I know this place," Alex replied before disappearing a pay and display parking ticket.

They walked away from the parking lot and weaved through a few buildings before they arrived at their location.

They reached a small diner which served breakfast and nothing but breakfast, all day. It had a 50's diner feel to it, with black and white kitchen tiles and baby pink and baby blue décor, and a golden duke box in the corner. Alex explained that L.A was full of up-market cafes, bistros and the like, that everything was modern and shiny, and sterile. She preferred places with some character. This place wasn't on one of the main roads, it was in one of the back streets, but it was packed with people who, like Alex, wanted to eat breakfast in a place which served real food, and not food for the diet concious. Piper was what Alex had always described as a "foodie", she was a food-snob, brought up on upper-class meals, taught how to count calories before she could even tell the time. But Alex also knew that sometimes, Piper liked to "rough it", liked rebel by indulging in food which her mother would have a heart attack upon sight of, let alone taste of.

Alex observed Piper, watching the cogs of her mind turn over as she took the place in.

"I like it," Piper spoke slowly, as though not fully committed to her statement, she didn't usually like "themed restaurants," but this wasn't too bad. She could see why Alex liked it, her ex-girlfriend had always had a fascination for things which came out of the 40's and 50's time period, this explaining the tattoo of a pin up girl on her arm.

A waitress soon approached their table with a notepad, she removed a pen from behind her ear and smiled at them sweetly.

"What can I get you girls?" she spoke with an accent which wasn't local to the area, it sounded southern, or perhaps mid-western.

Alex hadn't even picked up a menu, but she was ready to order, "I'll have the Banana Stack, and a coffee, please."

The woman nodded and noted it in the notepad before turning her attention to Piper, who apologised that she hadn't yet picked up the menu. The waitress, who was slightly rotund around the waist, poked the pen back through her greying brown hair and behind her ear. She told Piper she would be back with their drinks while she made up her mind.

"This place is very.. homely," she said thinking about the waitresses motherly face. A face far more kind than her own mothers. Alex laughed, it was exactly the reason she loved coming here.

Piper picked up the menu and browsed through her options. When the waitress arrived with a pot of coffee and two mugs, she decided to go with her favourite, and ordered a bacon stack. She watched as the woman noted it down and delivered the piece of paper to the window into the kitchen. She then collected somebody else's order and took it to a table. Piper looked to the window into the kitchen where she watched as the cooks made everything from scratch, rushing around the busy kitchen. Piper felt her stomach grumble at the smell of pancakes and waffles, and syrup and bacon. She looked up to see Alex smiling at her from behind her mug of coffee.

"What?" She asked reaching over to pour her own mug of coffee.

"Nothing, I was just remembering how you are about food."

"I'm not like anything with food," Piper frowned, she didn't like when people told her that she could be a little stuck up. She didn't like to think she could be anything like her mother, but knew that in some ways, she could be just like her.

"Mmhmn," Alex hummed between tight lips.

"I'm not!" Piper argued, "I just like.. you know.. decent ingredients, and..." she trailed off as she realised she was saying exactly what Alex had expected her to say, "shut up!"

Alex laughed, "I like it," she said, and allowed her hand to rest upon Pipers.

As they fell into an easy conversation, the waitress arrived with their order, and topped up their half emptied pot of coffee with some fresh. Piper looked at the large stack of pancakes in front of her and the crispy bacon, all drenched in thick maple syrup and didn't even wait for Alex before she took a fork and dug into the delicious food.

"Such a Lady," Alex laughed she watched piper fork a second mouthful.

"It's so good," Piper said as she continued to attack the pancakes like she hadn't ever had a good meal.

Alex laughed and began to eat her own. She talked Piper through the plan for the rest of the day, after breakfast they would head to a few of Alex's favourite places in L.A, and then drive down to Venice beach for some lunch, before heading to the art walls, and then to one of her favourite spots on the beach, before heading back home.

The date progressed almost exactly as Alex had described. In L.A, Alex took Piper to a few places and stores that she liked the most. They visited a record store that still sold records on vinyl, a clothes boutique which sold individual pieces of clothes which Alex loved but could rarely afford. Then Alex drove them to Venice, where they had walked through the circus that was Venice beach, littered with all kinds of street performers, artists, and fortune tellers. They watched a man juggling knifes, and Piper decided to visit a fortune teller although she didn't believe they held any power. She could barely hold back from rolling her eyes as she was told that her future and her past would collide in a dramatic and violent ending, and that somebody she loved would leave her world forever.

Alex laughed at this, joking that she had managed to escape an international cartel of drug dealers, yet she was going to die when Larry came at her with a gun. Piper didn't find this so funny, and they agreed that while they spent time together, they wouldn't acknowledge Larry's existence.

Once they'd ate at a place of Piper's choice, they headed back to the car, where Alex drove them to "her" spot on the beach, which took them about another fifteen minutes. It was around 4pm when Alex pulled up along the side of a quiet area by the beach, where the only other occupants were a few dog walkers, and a youngish girl who sat reading a book. Alex began to remove her shoes and socks, and Piper copied. As they walked down the sandy steps to the beach below, Alex entwined her fingers with Pipers, as she had wanted to do all day, but knew better than to have their relationship out in the public eye. Now they were alone, she felt happy feeling the familiar hand interlaced with her own. They walked towards the sea, where Alex rolled up her jeans and walked through the shallow warm water.

"So, why here?" Piper asked as she looked around at the beach. They were walking towards a wooden pier which looked as though it hadn't been used in decades.

"When I first came to LA, it was about 11 months after my mom died," she chose not to mention the part about Piper leaving, it didn't seem appropriate right now, "when it reached the one year anniversary, I knew I couldn't return to New York to visit my mom," she continued, the weight of what remained unsaid, weighed heavy in the air. "So, I wanted to find some place where I could find some quiet, and just sit. Just be alone as I felt. And that's not easy in La La Land. Even the places you expect the be quiet, there's always someone, even in the apartment, I can hear the streets below, or the neighbours. This is the closest I came to finding it."

Piper rubbed some circles on the back of Alex's hand, she wanted to comfort her the way she hadn't stayed around to comfort her before. She found that they were now stood in the shade beneath the pier. She leant against the wooden structure, and pulled Alex towards her.

"I came here, and except for the odd car or seagull, it was quiet," Alex explained, her eyes were piercing into Pipers, "it was here that I decided I needed to let you go, that I needed to try and get over you.. I spent two years trying, and I thought I was doing well." The taller woman ran a hand through her dark hair and frowned, "I thought that because I was able to sleep with other women, that maybe I was over you.. I ignored how I would compare them to the memory of you, I ignored how alone I felt the next morning and you weren't there, and then one ordinary day at work, there you were, and I didn't know how to feel, or what to say.."

Alex had moved in closer to Piper, with one hand holding Piper's, she moved her other to the small of her back, closing the distance between them, "but I should have known, as I stood here thinking about how I would get past this, how I would move on from you, from us.. that I wouldn't, not ever.."

Piper could feel the warmth of her breath tickling her lips, and then she could feel those soft lips press softly against hers. The kiss was gentle, slow, filled with unspoken words, but it grew with haste, Alex's tongue pushing against her own, that familiar taste, a taste which always left her hungry for more. Piper felt herself kissing back in a way that she could never have kissed anyone other than Alex, filled with need, with desire, with unyielding passion. She pulled Alex in closer, wanting to feel the weight of her body against her own. The kiss could have lasted forever, but as they parted, and she opened her eyes, she felt a little dizzy, and sighed happily into the familiar crook of Alex's neck.

"It's weird how normal this feels," Piper spoke into the soft skin, taking in the scent of her perfume. The same perfume that Alex had worn when they were together. "I feel like I'm 23 and no time has passed," she added.

Alex considered this for a moment, "Well," she began, "I think that when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away, you know? You snap back to being important to each other because you still are."

Piper looked at the woman in-front of her and thought about how much their lives had both changed. Together, as they were right now, it felt as though nothing had changed, but this couldn't be further from the truth.

"But I've changed so much since we were together," said Piper, "haven't you?"

"No," Alex responded without question, "No, not really. I'm pretty consistent."

Piper raised an eyebrow, "you don't turn kids into mules anymore and make thousands of dollars shifting heroin around the world."

"No, that part has changed.." Alex agreed, "what I do, that's changed, now I'm more about shifting books around a store, for much less money.. but me, who I am, I'm the same."

Piper nodded, "I guess maybe we are the same, but life is just.. different."

They didn't speak as they held each other for a few minutes. Piper wasn't sure how she had ever survived two years without Alex, she felt more like herself when she was with the woman, than when she wasn't with the woman. She knew that at some point she would have to face this, she would have to give up her safety net with Larry, but she was so scared of making the same mistake twice. But Alex wasn't a mistake.

"Hey Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"If I hadn't have left when I did, do you think you would have given it all up?"

Alex thought about this, "no" she said honestly, "probably not."

"What if I'd asked you to?"

"I don't know," Alex admitted, "I think it had to be my own decision, you know? So that I wouldn't regret it or resent you.."

Piper understood, it wasn't personal, it was just the truth.

"Do you miss it?"

Alex nodded, "yeah, I do.. I was good at it, you know? I loved the money, I loved the thrill, it was what it was.."

"Would you go back?"

Alex paused in thought, would she go back? If she knew that Kubra wouldn't shoot her on sight, if he welcomed her back to the "family" as he called it, would she do it?

"No," she decided, "don't get me wrong, a large part of me says yes, but I left because of how much that life cost me, it wasn't worth it anymore. It wasn't worth what I lost."

Piper smiled into her lips as she kissed her, "well, I'm here now."

Alex kissed back, happy to lose herself in the blonde woman once more. She didn't know how long Piper would stick around this time, right now, everything was so unclear. In one breath she felt confident that eventually, when the time came, Piper would choose her over Larry, but in another breath she couldn't help but wonder what she had to offer Piper now. She no longer lived the exciting life with a luxury penthouse apartment in the city, apart from herself, she didn't have much to offer at all. A lot of the $70,000 she stole from the Cartel had been spent while she was trying to shake them off after her escape, more of it had been spent paying her way until she met Nikki and got a job. She'd spent some on her car, and she had kept some in savings. She ignored her doubts and continued to kiss Piper, enjoying what she had missed for the last three years.

"We should do this again, sometime," Piper smiled as they pulled apart.

"Piper Chapman, are you asking me out on a second date?"

"I think I am," Piper smiled, and pulled her in for another kiss.


	9. I want you

**A/N** **– This chapter just kind of wrote itself, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Chapter 9 – I want you.**

When Alex woke up at 6.00am on Thursday morning, she achieved something rare for this time of day, a smile.

She threw on her work clothes, inhaled a bowl of cereal and left the apartment. The streets were always quiet at this time of day, it was one of the better parts of doing delivery receipt on Thursday mornings, there weren't many cars around, just the odd jogger and occasional early bird dog walkers.

She pushed her key into the shutters which protected the glass door and windows, unlocked the entrance door, and relocked it behind her before she hurried towards the stock room to deactivate the beeping alarm. Whoever had designed the system had barely left enough time for the journey from the front of the store to the stock room, Alex used to hate the mad rush so early in the day, but today she felt revitalised and energised. She reached the alarm box with time to spare and dialled in the code, which instantly silenced the beeping.

Alex checked the time on her phone to find that she was a little earlier than usual, and began the usual routine, flicking the panel of switches to turn the lights on in the store, the air conditioning and the music system. She opened the delivery door, and pulled out a foot stool to sit on as she waited for the delivery truck. She didn't have long to wait before the van pulled up and a familiar man in a yellow high vis jacket stepped out. Even Stinky Steve, the unkempt and unbathed delivery driver, couldn't bring down her spirits this morning.

"Hello Steve!" She called as the man leapt down to the pavement.

"Good morning, Alex," the man replied, he held a piece of paper between his yellowing fingers. Alex took the paperwork and reviewed it before signing and handing it back to him, careful to avoid his long and dirty fingernails.

"Big delivery this morning," he informed her as he opened the back of the truck and pulled down a ramp.

Alex stood back and watched Steve as he moved boxes of books and stationary from the truck into the stock room. She held her breath as he passed, unable to bare the stale smell of wet dog and sweat. It didn't matter how often she met Steve, she couldn't get used to the smell, or his lecherous personality. Once he had finished moving the boxes, he stood in front of Alex and scratched the greying stubble on his chin, his watery blue eyes looking her over appreciatively. "Same time next Thursday?" he winked, and licked his dried lips. Stinky Steve was creepy, but harmless. He seemed to enjoy that Alex was a lesbian, though seemed certain it was because she hadn't been with a "real man" such as himself. The very thought made bile rise in her throat.

Alex said goodbye and wandered back into the stock room where the boxes had been piled waiting to be opened and sorted. She grabbed the first box and a knife and began the task of entering the stock into the system with a hand held scanner, before moving the items to their temporary home. She was half way through when a familiar voice called out to her. She thought back to this time a week ago, and smiled at thinking how things had changed.

Piper placed a coffee and a brown paper bag on the shelf beside Alex, "Coffee and a banana nut muffin," the blonde smiled.

Alex took the bag and sniffed inside it, she sighed happily, "my favourite."

Piper wrapped her arms around the taller woman's waist, pulling her in close, "good morning."

Alex placed the box knife in her hand down beside the coffee. She ran a hand along Piper's slender arms before resting it lazily on the blonde's shoulder, idly twisting a lock of hair between her fingers.

"Morning," she spoke before pushing her lips against Pipers. She could taste coffee and a hint of honey.

Piper smiled into her lips, "someone seems happy this morning," she commented.

"You talk far too much," Alex chastised as she moved her hand from Piper's shoulder into the waves of blonde hair, guiding her head closer as she crashed their lips together. Alex licked Pipers lip gently, eliciting a soft moan from the blonde, causing her to part her lips, Alex deepened the kiss, teasing her with her tongue. Alex felt herself being pushed uncomfortably into the shelves, and raised her eyebrows in amusement. Not breaking the kiss, she went along with it. Piper had never been the aggressor and Alex found that she enjoyed this new characteristic. She kissed back even harder, allowing her hands to travel down the slender body pressing into her.

The sudden sound of the heavy stock room door closing behind itself caused reality to pull them apart as Piper jumped back as though she had been burned. Alex smirked, watching as Piper brushed herself down and made an attempt of looking casual.

Amanda, one of the girls who worked with Alex, walked towards them oblivious to what she had nearly walked in on.

"Hey," she smiled brightly, "thought I would help you with the rest of this," she waved her hand indicating the unopened boxes.

"I was just bringing Alex some coffee," Piper stated, "I'll get back upstairs now.." And she scurried off.

"What was that?" Amanda asked, clearly amused.

"I have no idea," Alex replied, not bothering to hide her smirk.

Amanda raised her eyebrow, to which Alex responded with a shrug, and sipped her coffee as she turned her attention to the boxes. "I will open and add them to the system, you can put them out, ok?"

* * *

Once 3pm came around, though she felt tired, Alex's mood had not altered. As she passed her car on the way to the entrance of her apartment building, Alex thought back to the heavy make out session she shared with Piper in the car the night before. She could feel the stir of butterflies in her stomach, and wondered what their next date would bring. Just as she was about to turn her attention back to the keys in her hand, she noticed a man sat in parked car a short way down the road. Alex didn't usually pay much attention to other people's business, but she had the strange feeling that she was being watched. As much as she wanted to shake off the feeling, she couldn't ignore her instinct to be vigilant, years in the Cartel had taught her to recognise suspicious behaviour, usually from unmarked cop cars, but more often from rival cartels. Men sat in stationary cars on the side of the street definitely aroused her suspicion.

Alex took out her phone and pretended to answer a call, temporarily taking her eyes away from the car as she tried to look as though she hadn't seen it. The chances were that this was nothing, or if anything, probably just a small time dealer making an exchange. There were a few stoners in her apartment block, but as she thought back to the man on the plane whom she'd felt sure at the time had been following her, she decided she couldn't be too careful. She continued to keep watch, and noticed a man walking by, speaking hurriedly on the phone. He stopped at the parked car and slid into the passenger seat before the car engine started up and the car pulled away. Alex slipped her phone back into her pocket and shook her head at her own paranoia. Sometimes she felt as though she had become too used to her new life, too comfortable, and occasionally she would over react to the simplest things. It was always in the back of her mind that Kubra would rather her dead than alive. She decided that with recent events such as Piper coming back into her life, as well as her visit to New York, was causing her to feel a little on edge about the past.

She walked up the stairs and into her apartment where she could hear Nikki laughing from her bedroom.

"Hey guys," Alex called out, hoping that they would be a little less vocal about the activities they carried out behind closed doors. Lorna was loud. She dumped her bag onto the kitchen worktop, headed for the fridge, pulled out a cold bottle of beer and pulled it against the bottle opener attached to the wall, and took a long drink.

"Alex!" Nikki came out of the bedroom, she was fully dressed much to Alex's surprise. Lorna followed behind, also fully dressed and not a single hair out of place.

"We're about the play Monopoly," the smaller woman spoke.

"Monopoly?" Alex asked.

"We've been playing board games all day," Lorna added.

"Wait a minute," Alex looked from Nikki to Lorna, "aren't you two in that exciting beginning phase of a relationship? Why the fuck are you spending all day playing board games?"

"We're both surfing the crimson wave," Nikki frowned, "which wouldn't bother me, but Prissy Knickers here- Ouch!" Nikki rubbed her arm where the smaller woman had elbowed her.

Alex laughed at the pair of them, "you're like an old couple."

"Anyway," Nikki said, still scowling at her girlfriend, "Monopoly. You in?"

Alex considered this for a moment. It was a Thursday night, she had nothing better to do.

"You do know I'll wipe the floor with you so bad you're gonna have friction burns a week, right?"

Nikki laughed, "fighting talk, perhaps we could make this a little more interesting?"

Alex took another mouthful of beer, "I'm listening?"

"If me of Morello win," Nikki rubbed her chin as she thought of a forfeit for her friend, "then you do the dishes.. for a week."

Alex scoffed, "two against one? That's hardly fair.." she looked at the dishes piling up in the sink.

Nikki Shrugged, "well, if you don't think you can win…"

Alex narrowed her eyes, "Fine, _when _I win, _you_ can do dishes for a week AND _you_ can clean the entire apartment, top to bottom... With furniture polish and everything."

Nikki took a look around the apartment, they usually shared responsibility for the cleaning, and while it wasn't in a particularly bad state, she didn't quite fancy doing it all by herself. But it was two against one..

"Deal."

Alex gave her a wicked smile. She had played monopoly with her many cousins while growing up, and she had always outsmarted them. If she won, she had an easy week ahead.

When nearly two hours had passed, they'd had a few disagreements about the rules, but as with all Monopoly games, nobody bothered to check the actual Rules. They lay neatly in the box, untouched.

"I spend more time in jail than out of it," Nikki complained, as she placed her a little metal dog piece in the jail cell.

Alex smirked at the the cards lay in front of her. As she had predicted, she had practically monopolised the threw the dice and moved her boot a few places, landing in the safety of one of her own "properties."

"You better get those rubber gloves ready," Alex said with a grin, "Looks like you're about to join Morello over there in Bankruptcy."

At hearing her name the dark haired woman looked up at them from her position on the floor. She had positioned herself on top of a bed of cushions as she watched West Side Story on the television, she had been out of the game for over an hour, and she found watching Monopoly even more boring than she had found playing it.

About fifteen minutes later and the game had ended, and Alex found herself both hungry and smug.

"I think I might make something really complicated for dinner," she smiled, "one of those meals that uses every dish in the Kitchen."

"You struggle making a sandwich," Nikki scoffed.

Alex felt her phone buzz in her pocket and looked at the screen. "Saved by the bell, Nichols," she said as she moved into her room to take the call.

"To what do I owe the pleasure," Alex spoke as she answered the phone.

"I'm outside your apartment," Piper announed.

"You're what?"

"Come down, I'm in the white SUV."

Alex walked to the bedroom window where she could see the street below, "Give me five," she said before dropping the call. She took her work clothes off and hastily threw them to the floor. She pulled on a pair of skinny black jeans and a loose fitting black vest top, and checked her hair in the mirror before applying a little bit of hairspray to give it more volume.

"I'm just popping out for a bit," she called to Nikki and Lorna as she headed for the door.

Piper sat in SUV beaming at Alex as the woman walked to the car, she motioned for Alex to get in.

"What are you doing here, Pipes?" Alex asked with a bemused expression.

"Larry's gone out with a few of the guys from work," Piper explained, "so I thought I could use this as an opportunity to see you!"

Alex laughed, "just can't keep away from me, ay kid?"

"Something like that," Piper agreed, "so what have you been doing to distract yourself from how much you miss me?"

"Kicking Nikki and Lorna's ass at Monopoly"

"Monopoly?"

"Yeah, Monopoly."

"I didn't have you down as the Monopoly type," said Piper in amusement.

"I'm a woman of many mysteries," Alex spoke deadpan, "so, how long do we have?"

Piper shrugged, "I don't know, but I've shoved my running stuff in the back, so if I get back later than him, I can just say I drove up to the hills for a run or something."

Alex raised an eyebrow, "you're better at this sneaking around stuff than I'd have thought."

Piper nodded, "I guess I'm a woman of many mysteries too."

The raven haired laughed, "I guess so."

Piper started the engine and pulled away from the curb, with no idea of where to go, she said "lets just drive."

"You know, I've not had any dinner yet..." Alex hinted.

"Me either," the blonde said, not catching on.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Maybe tonight could be our second date?"

"Are you asking me out to Dinner?"

"That depends," Alex shrugged, "I'm not exactly dressed for some fancy French or Italian place.."

Piper looked down at her own casual clothes, "that doesn't matter," she said, "I've got an idea!"

She continued to drive until she found a grocery store and parked up. Piper told Alex to stay in the car, and hurried into the store. When she returned she held two grocery bags which she placed in the back of the car beside, ignoring Alex's questions of what was in side, and swatting her hands when she tried to look.

"I've done my part," Piper said as she started the engine back up, "now you have to decide where?"

"Where?"

"Where to have a picnic."

Alex paused as she thought about where they could go, she grabbed the satnav and entered "Vista Hermosa Natural Park".

Piper asked her where they were going.

"Like I said, I am a woman of many mysteries," Alex looked over her shoulder at the grocery bags, "if you tell me what food you've bought, I'll tell you where we're going."

"I guess we will both find out when we get there."

"I'd almost forgotten how difficult you can be," Alex stated.

Piper ignored her and followed the directions on the satnav. Eventually she pulled into a carpark and read the sign, but from where they sat in the car, the park didn't look like it would be any different from any other neighbourhood park. She grabbed a blanket and passed it to Alex. Piper took the grocery bags and asked Alex to lead the way. They walked between trees and rocks, and eventually into a clearing where Piper could see amazing views of the city buildings. She turned on the spot as she took the sight in. Until now she had only really seen the buildings either very up close as she walked beneath them, or very far away as she looked down from the canyon. But here, she could see downtown LA from a perfect distance. She turned to Alex who had spread the blanket across the grass and was now slipping off her shoes.

"Well, I showed you mine.." she said suggestively, her rapsy voice sending shivers down Pipers spine.

"Right, the food, the food," Piper said, placing the bags down on the blanket. She pulled out a bottle which at first appearance could have been wine, but as Alex picked it up, she could see it was some kind of upper market juice, though its name sounded more like a potion. She raised her eyebrows, and shook her head, another reminder of the different worlds they both came from. Piper began to take out various pots and tubs, and finally a punnet of rich red strawberries and a small tub of gooey chocolate.

As Piper took the lids from the various pots of food, Alex looked at each with a frown. "I literally have no idea what any of this shit is," she said, poking the contents of one of the tubs with a fork.

"Its food," Piper said, "you eat it."

"What's wrong with real food?" Alex asked.

"You sound just like Larry!" Piper complained, "this is real food, natural food, not pumped with chemicals and fat and...

"...and taste?"

Alex had placed a fork full of something into her mouth, and screwed her face up. Piper rolled her eyes and dipped her fork into the same pot, she tasted it and then screwed her own face up. "Ok, so that one... that's not so good," she said and unscrewed the cap on the bottle of "juice." She poured some into a plastic cup, took a mouth full and passed the bottle to Alex, who sniffed it tentatively. She then tipped the bottle back against her lips, ignoring the cup Piper had placed in front of her. Alex closed her eyes tightly as she wrinkled her nose before turning to the grass where she spat the liquid back out.

"What the fuck, Piper?!" She coughed.

Piper couldn't help but laugh. "You seemed so classy when I first met you," she shook her head in faux disappointment.

"Do people actually enjoy this shit?!"

Piper smiled, "I like it," she said, "it doesn't taste so artificial."

"I like artificial," Alex said proudly. She looked at the tub of fresh salad and stabbed a fork into it, "I guess I will just stick to the rabbit food."

Piper tore some bread and passed it to Alex, while she dipped hers into various dips, and picked at a tub of antipasti. Alex took an olive, which she actually liked, she'd eaten plenty of them with Martini's anyway.

"Here," Piper dipped a strawberry into the chocolate sauce, "damage control," she said. She leaned closer to Alex, "come get it," she whispered, and placed the chocolate covered strawberry between her teeth. Alex moved quickly, quicker than Piper had expected, and closed her lips around Piper's and took the strawberry between her own teeth with a smile.

"At least dessert is good," she smiled, reaching for another strawberry, swiping it in the chocolate and as she brought it to Piper's lips she said, "I changed my mind," and ate it. Piper laughed, she knew Alex had a sweet tooth. She took a strawberry for herself and dipped it into the chocolate, and before she knew it, Alex had leapt towards her, and took the strawberry from her fingers with her teeth.

"It's like having a picnic with a dog," Piper said as she laughed. She grabbed the tub of chocolate, stretched back against the blanket and held it away from Alex, leaving her abdomen open for attack. Alex lifted the material of her t-shirt a little and began placing soft kisses against the sensitive skin on her hips. Piper made a start at the sudden touch, and tried to push Alex away, but the raven haired held her ground and continued placing kisses across her stomach.

"Alex stop," Piper squirmed, trying to pass back the tub of chocolate sauce without spilling it, "here, look, you can have your chocolate."

"I've found something better," Alex growled.

Piper felt her breath catch as the kisses moved just above the sensitive skin by the waistband of her shorts. She cast a nervous looked around the park, it was relatively empty at this time but a few people glanced their way.

"Alex!" she warned.

The raven haired paid no attention.

Piper dipped her fingers into the chocolate and wiped the sauce down the side of the woman's face. Alex stopped immediately, and propped her glasses atop of her head. She blinked before focusing on the blur of blonde hair that was Piper, she took her index finger to her face, gathered the sauce and tasted it slowly.

"Hmm.." she said, scooping the rest of the chocolate away, "I think this would taste better on you," and in one swift movement she took the pot of chocolate, scooped some with her fingers and smeared across Pipers lips. Before the blonde had a chance to escape, Alex closed the distance between them, and flicked her tongue across her lip as she gently licked the chocolate away. "Mmmm, I was right," she said with a wicked smile. Alex moved her attention to her bottom lip, took it between her teeth, and pulled on it lightly. She flicked her tongue across the lip, tormenting Piper until she caved. She didn't have to wait for long before Piper crashed their lips together and pulled her down on top of her, both of them becoming lost in each other.

When they eventually parted, Alex rolled onto her back beside Piper, not caring that her hair was in the grass. She looked up at the blue sky as she caught her breath. The sky was getting darker as the sun was beginning to set, causing an orange glow over the buildings.

"Pipes?"

"Yeah?"

"When do I get to spend a night with you?"

Piper rolled over, resting on her elbow, she twisted a lock of hair between her fingers nervously as she tried to find an answer. She wanted this too, of course she did, but how would she explain another night away from home to Larry without it looking suspicious. She wished that she could just follow her heart, like she had done before, that she could just end it with Larry and start over with Alex, but was scared. Scared that Polly had been right, that this was just a mix up of emotions at seeing her ex again, though deep down she knew the truth, she wanted Alex because she loved her, she loved her in a way that she couldn't ever love Larry, in a way that she could only love Alex, and nobody else. But still, she was scared.

"I don't know," she said honestly.

Alex continued to look up, she watched a stray wispy white cloud floating above.

"What about next Friday?" the darker haired woman suggested, "you could tell Larry that there's another staff night out, and you're staying with Nikki as you're both working the next day?"

Piper considered this for a moment, "I could.." she agreed.

"I want you," Alex spoke, her raspy voice nearly a growl.

"I want you too," Piper replied before kissing her tenderly, running a hand through her dark hair.


	10. How it feels to break a heart

**A/N:**** Hi! What a wonderful response! Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. I have come to a dilemma when it comes to possible future content of this story. At the moment I have an outline plan of where this story is going and how it will get there, but generally I just write each chapter with whatever comes to mind try to keep within my "plot" guide (which is actually just a little list on the "notes" application on my phone, which keeps getting re-drafted anyway). The issue is that I have been trying to work out whether to include or not include "sexual content" which of course would see the rating change to M. I guess what I am asking is for some indication from _you_ the readers as to whether this is something you want to see/read or not. So please let me know :) As for now, Chapter 10.**

**Chapter 10 - How it feels to break a heart.**

Rounding the corner of the dairy isle in the supermarket, Alex cursed under her breath, "shit!"

Nikki dropped a block of cheese into the cart whilst Alex darted out of sight. The wild haired woman looked around, and then saw the familiar red haired woman Alex was keen to avoid.

"Don't you dare leave me to be interrogated by her!" Nikki hissed.

Alex craned her neck around the corner to look at Nikki, "it's better you than me!"

Nikki shook her head. She hated dealing with other people's bullshit. She pushed the cart forward, lingering for longer than necessary as she picked up a carton of milk, hoping to put some distance between her and red haired woman who was slowly moving further down the isle. Just as the woman made a turn, she paused, left her cart and walked back, instantly spotting and recognising Nikki.

"Nichols, isn't it? Alex's friend?"

"That's me," Nikki said, looking over her shoulder for Alex. The dark haired woman was nowhere to be seen.

"How is she?" asked Jules, not even looking at Nikki, but rather looking around for Alex.

"She's good.. and I'm fine too, thanks for asking."

The red haired woman ignored the comment, "is she around?"

Suddenly Alex appeared, she held tub of yogurt in her hand as she approached the cart.

"Oh!" Alex exclaimed, trying to seem surprised, "Jules! Hey!"

Jules turned her attention from Nikki and watched as Alex placed the yogurt in the cart.

"How's things?" Alex asked with a friendly smile, hoping to keep things pleasant. She had ignored every phone call and text message from the woman since they'd bumped into each other on Saturday night. A lot had happened in a short space of time, she'd had two dates with Piper, she hadn't even thought of a way to respond to a woman who had clearly mistaken their relations for a relationship.

"You haven't returned any of my messages."

"Do we have to do this here?" Alex asked, hoping that she could avoid the pending conversation.

"Yes."

"Well," Nikki interrupted, "as this is sufficiently awkward, I'm just gonna head over here," and headed back down the isle, turning the corner and out of sight.

"Well?" The red head looked at Alex for an answer.

"I've just been, you know.."

"No, I don't know.. we had an arrangement, Alex."

"Yes," Alex spoke sternly, she had wanted to avoid a scene but Jules seemed intent on causing one, "We had an arrangement. Not a relationship. An arrangement."

"Call it what you want," Jules waved her hand dismissively, "but you're backing out on your end of the deal."

"My end of the deal?!" Alex stepped towards the woman, she lowered her voice "if I don't want to fuck you, I don't have to!"

"When you called me up for a bootycall, I came running," the red haired woman whispered back.

"That's up to you, isn't it?"

"So you just used me for sex then, is that it?" Jules yelled as she angrily threw her hands into the air.

Alex rolled her eyes, she was beginning to lose her patience, "that is kind of the point of a fuck buddy."

"A fuck buddy? Really Alex? What is this, college?!"

"I specifically remember telling you," Alex spoke slowly, trying to remain calm, "that I wasn't interested in a relationship, that I didn't want any drama. Just sex."

"Just sex?" the infuriated woman repeated, "Just sex?! What about what I wanted? I thought that was something that you were just saying, I thought you would change your mind.. I thought that we had something special."

"You thought," Alex spat, "you."

"Has this got something to do with the girl in the bar the other night? I've seen you together, you know. I thought you didn't do relationships?" It wasn't a question, it was an accusation.

"You saw us toge- how?!"

"I came by Thursday night, I thought we could talk or something.. and just as I pulled up outside your apartment, I saw you both. All over each other, kissing and holding hands and giggling like two school girls.."

Alex thought back to Thursday, Piper had dropped her off home at about 10pm. Jules must have seen them kissing goodbye.

"Ok, look.. Piper is my ex-" Alex wasn't ready to answer any questions about what she and Piper were, she didn't know if they were anything.. yet.

"Are you in love with her?" Jules interrupted.

"What?" She couldn't quite believe they were having this conversation.

"Are you in love with her?"

"What does that even matter, this isn't about me and Piper, this is about me and you."

"Oh my god, you ARE!" The red haired woman gave a venomous laugh.

Alex took a deep breath and flexed her hands, trying to let go of her feelings of aggravation. "Look," she began, "I'm sorry if you thought that something more was going to happen between us, I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way, believe me, it wasn't intentional, but I'm not interested in having a relationship with you."

Jules shook her head, "Ok, spare me the apology speech, its all bullshit. _You_ are bullshit."

Alex raised an eyebrow, she wasn't sure what else to say, she was done.

"You know what, whatever.. I'm better than this!" the red haired woman stalked off, "I'm better than some sketchy bitch who just.. just uses people and wipes them away like a shit stain on the bottom of her shoe."

Alex watched as the woman stormed past her cart of food and left it stranded in the isle. An unofficial audience had gathered of shoppers facing the shelves, pretending to read food labels as they earwigged the dramatic exchange.

"Nikki, it's safe to come out now," Alex called, knowing Nikki would have been down the next isle trying to listen in without being seen.

Sure enough her wild haired friend appeared moments later, a smirk across her face. "Bitch, you got TOLD!" She laughed.

As they loaded the bags of groceries into the back of Nikki's car, Alex decided she wanted to see Piper. It was Sunday though and Piper was working today. She checked the time, it was 3.30pm. The store closed at 4.00pm.

"Nichols, do you mind dropping by work before going home?"

"Why?" Nikki raised an eyebrow. She knew why, but she wanted to hear Alex say it.

"There's just.. something I need to do."

"By _do_, do you mean Piper?"

"Maybe."

"Does this mean you're leaving me to take all the groceries in AND put them away?" Nikki said, unimpressed.

"One word," Alex said with a smirk, "Monopoly."

"You should have been a stain on the bed sheets, do you know that?"

Alex laughed, "is that a yes?"

"Yes," her friend said, defeated.

"Thanks," Alex said over her shoulder, walking back towards the store, "I'll be just a minute."

She returned five minutes later with a bouquet of flowers in pinks and whites.

"Flowers?!" Nikki had never seen Alex with flowers, and she had never expected her to _buy_ anyone flowers. She was a softie at heart, that much Nikki did know, but a romantic?

Alex shrugged, "too much?"

"What are they for?" Nikki asked, was it Piper's birthday?

"Nothing," Alex placed them down gently on the back seat.

"You bought your ex-girlfriend who broke your heart when she left you in Paris, and then came back into your life like what, two weeks ago, _Flowers_?" She looked at her best friend in disbelief. She wasn't one to pass judgement usually, and she preferred staying out of other people's business, but she was concerned that maybe Alex was getting herself too involved too soon.

"So you think they're too much?" Alex asked, ignoring most of what Nikki had said. Of course, Alex agreed, and she would probably say the same thing to somebody in her situation, but it was Piper, and she wasn't going to lose her a second time. If that meant she had some wooing to do, then she would damn well do it.

"It doesn't matter what I think," Nikki said as she started the engine, "but for what it's worth, I don't think she ever got over you either."

Alex thought about this as they drove to the book store. Nikki pulled up at the delivery bay at the back of the store, hoping to avoid the busier street to the front. Alex carefully picked up the flowers and made her way around the building, it was now 4pm, and Piper would be leaving at any minute. Pausing at the corner, Alex squinted as she saw a familiar dark haired man lingering by the entrance. Larry. Fuck.

She jumped backwards, and watched him as he waited for Piper. Disappointment swelled in her chest, she gritted her teeth together as she looked at the beautiful flowers, she half felt like throwing them away. How long would she have to wait until that complication, as she preferred to think of Larry, was out of the way? She hated that she had to share Piper with someone else. Alex gradually craned her neck around the corner and watched the man, wondering about their relationship. Was Piper happy with this man? If she was, then she wouldn't be sneaking around with her, surely? Alex kept a watch, she wasn't sure why, perhaps just morbid curiosity. She watched as Piper appeared with a look of surprise upon seeing the dark haired man, he kissed her as they embraced. Alex frowned and looked down at the concrete beneath her feet as she felt a coldness pool in the pit of her stomach, jealousy rearing its ugly head. Her grip tightened around the flowers as she watched the pair of them disappear hand in hand towards the car. She would have to give the flowers to Piper tomorrow, she decided. Feeling disheartened, Alex began the short walk home as a leisurely pace. Jealousy was a relatively new feeling, she'd never cared about anyone else enough to feel this way.

* * *

As Piper made her way to the front of the store she thought about the evening ahead. She decided that she would curl up with a good book, lose herself in a world she didn't exist within. There was so much going on in her life right now that she needed a night to just take a breather from it, she had some important decisions to deal with, some big changes to make. Little over six weeks ago she had moved from New York to LA, it had been exactly what she needed to break away from her suffocating family. She and Larry had been so excited about their new life together, he had even started talking about their future. She felt settled with Larry, comfortable. And now?

"Piper!" She heard him before she saw him. She looked up to see those kind brown eyes and greeting smile. She couldn't help but smile back at him.

Larry moved towards her and planted a kiss on her lips, bringing his arms around her in a tight hug. Piper laughed at him.

"I'm taking you out for dinner," he told her, "I feel like we haven't spent any time together recently, you know?"

Piper nodded, it was true. She had purposely made less time for Larry, and more time for Alex.

"You're so sweet," she cupped his cheek with her hand, trying her best to hide her guilt.

"Come on, let's get you home first to freshen up," he held out his hand for her to take and they walked to his car.

When they were home, Piper checked her phone, disappointed to find that Alex had not yet messaged her today. She placed the phone screen down, just in case, and took a long hot shower, trying to get herself in the mood for tonight. Larry had told her to wear something a little more formal. She didn't know what the occasion was, but figured that now they had more money, Larry wanted to enjoy going out more. Piper changed into her favourite dress, a sleeveless coral coloured dress which stopped just above her knees. She slipped a thin white belt around her waist and started the hunt for a pair of appropriate shoes. Larry took her place in the mirror, and as she searched the bottom of her wardrobe, he attempted his tie. Piper watched as he struggled, and moved in to help him. As she threaded the material through the knot and pulled it, straightening out his collar, she smiled at him.

"What would I do without you Piper?" Larry asked. His question made Piper feel sad. She hadn't yet made any decisions, but she knew deep in her heart that a decision had already been made, she just hadn't thought it through yet. Piper smiled at him weakly, feeling as though she might cry. She knew that once it was over, it was over, Larry would gone. He had come to be such an important part of her life, and soon he wouldn't be part of it at all.

As they parked up, Piper looked out of the window at the small Italian restaurant where a queue was forming outside. She followed as Larry bypassed the queue and pushed open the door, where he then spoke quietly to the Maitre'D who checked the reservations list and showed them to their table. Once seated, they were passed the a la carte menu and a wine menu. Piper looked at the limited choice on the menu, which she knew meant that the food was freshly cooked, and expensive. She felt a little bad that Larry had gone to so much effort for them to spend some time together when she had been avoiding him in favour of Alex. She thanked him before the waiter came to take their order. She opted for the seafood dish while Larry chose the steak. The waiter offered Piper to try some of their house wine. She always found this bit awkward, as though she was being judged for her wine tasting skills. She informed the waiter that the wine was good, and continued to pour it into both of their glasses before placing it in a bucket of ice.

When the waiter had left, Piper noticed Larry looking at her across the candle lit table with a look of love in his eyes. She took a large mouthful of her wine. She felt ashamed. Here, in front of her, with those big brown eyes, was a man who even on his worst days, was always kind. He had his bad points like everybody else, but he was her Larry, he was a gentle and caring man. Perhaps a little bit predictable, but always there when she needed him to be. Piper took another large drink.

"How's the wine?" Larry asked, teasingly.

She looked at the half emptied glass in her hand which had been full only a minute ago. "Sorry," she apologised, "I've had a busy day."

Larry nodded with understanding, "I miss weekends with you."

"I know," she answered.

Thankfully, the waiter arrived with their starters, so she didn't have to say anything that she didn't mean. Her affair with Alex had only started a week ago, and she was already tired of lying to him.

"How's work?" she asked, hoping the change of topic would distract him.

"It's great!" He beamed, "Filming starts soon, it will be long days, but so exciting!"

"Why do you need to be there during filming?" Piper asked, genuinely interested.

"Oh, there needs to be a team of writers on set to re-write scenes or lines if they don't go down well with the audience, and obviously the longer they're not filming a scene because it doesn't work, the more money they're losing, so they need writers on hand to re-work the script."

Piper took another drink and as soon as she had set the empty glass down on the table, a waiter arrived and topped the glass with the cooling bottle of wine.

"Thank you," Piper was impressed with this restaurant. Larry, like Alex, didn't usually like fancy places.

"Piper?" Larry shifted in his seat, "if this show does well, I could be making serious money! And then we can move to a bigger place and you won't have to work at the coffee shop, and maybe we could think about starting a family?"

Piper swallowed the piece of lettuce she had just picked up with her fork, and quickly washed it down with another large gulp of wine. A family?!

"Kids?" She asked Larry.

"Yeah, I know we had that pregnancy scare last year and I said I didn't want them yet, but I'm not talking about right away.."

Piper was no longer listening. She knew she wasn't going to have children with Larry, but he didn't.

"Would you excuse me?" she asked, and headed for the bathroom.

Piper locked herself into a cubicle as she checked her phone again. Still she had no word from Alex. She contemplated calling, dialled her number and then shook her head. Maybe Alex was busy. She had a life outside of their little affair. Piper closed her eyes tightly. She needed to deal with this situation soon, she couldn't keep letting Larry believe they had a future together when they didn't. He deserved better than that. He deserved somebody who wanted that with him, somebody who wanted him and only him. She left the cubicle and looked up at the mirror, pausing, she stared at the woman looking back at her. Same wavy blonde hair, same blue eyes, same shade of tanned skin, yet not a person she recognised. This wasn't Piper. She wasn't a coward. She didn't sneak around behind people's backs. This wasn't how she wanted to start a new relationship with Alex. It was then that she realised she shouldn't have been thinking about how this was the wrong way for starting the next chapter in her life, but how this was the wrong way to end the current one. She thought about Larry, waiting for her to return, oblivious to the reality which would soon turn his world upside-down. She remembered how it felt to break Alex's heart as she walked away from her, and now she would do the same to Larry. This wasn't Larry's fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. She was unexplainably drawn to Alex, it felt inevitable to her.

She would talk to Alex tomorrow and then she would talk to Larry. For tonight, she would enjoy spending time with the man she knew would soon be just a memory. She left the bathroom, feeling a little shaky, and took her seat opposite her boyfriend.

"Is everything ok?" He asked with concern.

"I'm fine," Piper lied, she wasn't fine. Just looking at Larry filled her with sadness.

"Good," he smiled.

Larry had noticed a change in his girlfriend, he assumed it was just the stress of the move. He felt a little guilty knowing that it was he who had uprooted them, taken Piper away from everything she knew, but she had seemed so excited about it. Since she had started working at the book store, he had noticed she had become a little distant, he wondered whether it was because she'd had a better job in New York. But they had come through so much together in the last couple of years, they would get through this. Whatever it was.

The main course arrived, and Larry made some small conversation about some of their neighbours. Piper enjoyed how Larry saw the world around him, he found the humour in everything and everyone without being cruel. He could sometimes be a little dark, but in a light-hearted way. She would miss him, not as much as she had missed Alex, but she would definitely miss his company. In many ways, Larry was her best friend. Was.

Piper moaned appreciatively at her food, she could see that Larry was enjoying his steak. She would always eat steak rare, but Larry always had his like charcoal. He was running his knife back and forward vigorously over his blackened steak, and looked up at Piper as she watched him. "How's the fish?" he asked, taking a break from cutting his steak.

"It's really good, how's the steak?" She asked with an amused smile.

Larry had finally sliced a piece off and he held it up on his fork with a triumphant look on his face, "its challenging," he answered, "we will have to come back here again if you like it?"

A short while after they had finished their food, a waiter came and cleaned away the dishes, handing them each a dessert menu. Piper ordered Gellato as Larry had expected, and he ordered the tiramisu.

Piper sipped her wine appreciatively, and when a sundae glass of rich ice cream was placed in front of her she coughed as she inhaled the wine in her mouth. In place of a wafer was a ring, a beautiful white gold diamond ring. She stared at it as it glimmered in the flickering candle light. What the? How was she supposed to react to this? She looked up to see Larry watching her, his eyes filled with hope as he played with his napkin nervously. How was she supposed to say no?

"Is this?" she asked, in disbelief. She and Larry had discussed the idea of marriage, but not recently, not since before they had began preparing for the move to LA.

"It is.." Larry spoke, he dabbed his mouth with the napkin and then moved around to Piper, down on one knee. He took ring from the dessert and wiped it clean with his napkin and held the ring up towards Piper.

It was like a movie, they were in a top class Italian restaurant, other diners were now turning to see the romantic moment, there was a violin being played a short distance away. It would be perfect if it wasn't a complete nightmare.

"Piper Chapman, you have been my life's greatest gift, and I promise to love you and cherish you forever, would you do me the great honour of becoming my wife?"

Here it came.. Her moment to answer.. She looked at him as he looked up at her, she looked at the faces watching them. And she vomited.

"Was it something I said?" Larry tried an attempt at humour as he tried to comfort his girlfriend. He placed the ring back onto the table as he searched for a napkin. Piper apologised, covering her face as she ran to the bathroom.

Larry frowned, unsure how to recover from this moment. He sat alone at their table wondering what had just happened. Should he go after Piper? He waited for a few minutes before walking to the ladies bathroom, he opened the door and gently called her name and could hear her crying from one of the cubicles. He knew he shouldn't be in the ladies bathroom, but he didn't care. He knocked on the door where the sobs were coming from.

"Piper?" he spoke softly.

The door opened. Black make up smudged around her eyes as she looked at him. She sat fully clothed on the toilet, sniffing back her sobs as she tried to stop crying. Larry crouched down so that their faces were level.

"Why?" he asked, knowing this was the answer to his proposal.

"Larry," the blonde sobbed, "Larry, I.."

"Hey," he tried to sooth her but his heart was racing. He was scared. Was he losing her?

"Larry, I'm sorry," Piper managed to speak.

"It's ok," he said, though he wasn't sure that it was. He held her hand between his.

"Larry..."

"I'm sorry," he apologised, tears forming in his eyes, "I thought it was the right time.."

Piper sobbed, "don't you apologise," she told him, looking into his sad eyes, "you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I don't understand," he frowned, still rubbing small circles on the back of her hand.

"I love you Larry," Piper began, "but I don't think I'm _in_ love with you."

He hasn't expected that. He'd thought maybe she wasn't ready for them to get engaged, but never that she didn't want to be with him at all.

Piper didn't want to see the pain in his eyes, she wanted to look away, but she saw it. Larry let go of her hand, and grabbed the sides of the cubicle to steady himself.

"What?" He asked, his voice breaking, "Piper, a lot has happened recently, I-

"Please Larry," she stopped him, "I'm sorry."

He sat himself on the floor, defeated. He didn't know why he asked his next question, Piper wasn't the type of person to cheat, but he had to know. "Is there somebody else?"

Piper let go of a deep breath, and by not answering him, she had given him the answer.

"Who?"

"It's not anybody you know-" Piper answered.

"Who?!" His voice was louder now, angrier.

Just after he'd said it, they could hear footsteps in the bathroom, and then the shaky voice of a concerned woman. "Is everything ok? Are you ok?"

Piper watched as Larry squared his jaw, "I'm fine," she answered.

The woman left the bathroom.

"Who is it Piper?" Larry asked, this time in a more controlled voice.

"Alex."

"Who's Alex? Is he the guy at number 3?"

Piper shook her head, "Alex, my ex-girlfriend Alex.."

Larry's eyes widened, "the woman you left in Paris?"

"She works at the book store," she told him.

"And you never even told me?!" He was getting angry again, his voice louder.

Piper looked down at the floor.

The sudden and harsh sound of the bathroom door flying open and hitting the wall caused them both to look up at each other. Seconds later there was a knock at the cubicle door.

"Sir, you shouldn't be in here," a male voice spoke sternly.

Larry stood up and opened the door, "We were just having a conversation," he tried to explain, but the man ignored him. Larry recognised him as the bartender.

"Are you ok miss?" the bartender asked.

"I'm fine," Piper stood up too, as though to show them she hadn't been harmed. She couldn't believe how quickly this had began to escalate. "We were just talking," she confirmed to the man, "I just got myself a bit upset and my boyfriend was trying to comfort me.."

The waiter looked from Piper to Larry, he wasn't sure whether to believe her, but he had no choice.

"Ok, well, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to continue your conversation elsewhere," he advised and motioned for Larry to leave the bathroom. Larry left and stood beside the door, "if you could return to your table, sir?"

Larry pushed his hand into his pocket and pulled out some money, he placed it on their table as he walked straight out of the restaurant and onto the street, pacing the pavement beside their car as he waited for Piper. He wanted to drive off and leave her there, but he knew that he couldn't.

Piper emerged some time later, and they got into the car and drove home in silence together. As they reached the apartment they both went about their usual evening routines. Piper watched Larry hoping that she could find some words for him, but there was nothing. An apology didn't take away the fact that she had just broken his heart, it didn't offer him any comfort or hope. She knew that anything she said would just fall on deaf ears now. She wanted Larry to know she hadn't slept with Alex yet, as though that made the situation somehow better, but she knew that it didn't. Because she wanted to, and that was just as bad. She looked at the bed she shared with Larry and she knew that she had to leave.

Piper walked out of the apartment dialled Alex's number. No answer. She sighed impatiently and headed back into her apartment, throwing her work uniform into a bag as well as a few other items she could use as change of clothes, enough underwear for a couple of days days, her make up, and her purse. She knew Alex would have anything else she needed.

"Where are you going?" Asked Larry, arms folded across his chest as Piper rushed around the room.

"I'm going to stay with a friend for a few days," she turned and closed her eyes tightly, she had no reason to lie to him anymore and yet she just had.

"To be with _her_, you mean?"

She walked past him, and without giving him an answer she left. She felt exactly as she had when she walked away from Alex in Paris, like a cold hearted bitch. But she knew that Larry would need some space from her, and if she was honest, she didn't want to be there. She dropped her bag into the back seat of her car and started the engine, she drove the journey in autopilot, her head scrambled with the many different things she was going to have to do in the coming weeks. Before she knew it her GPS was announcing, "you have reached your destination" and she looked for a parking space. It was about 9pm now, and most of the cars had parked up making it difficult to find a place, she noticed two men sat in a parked car and watched to see if they were going to pull away, but they didn't. She parked further down the street, grabbed her bag and walked to the door, buzzing the intercom.

"Nichols house of sex, please state your name and the purpose of your visit?"

Piper rolled her eyes. "Its me, Piper."

"Chapman?" the voice asked. The intercom buzzed to let her know the door had been opened and she began to climb the stairs. Nikki waited for her at the top.

"Another late night rendezvous?" She teased before she saw Piper's reddened eyes, her smile dropped as she looked at her with concern, "Are you ok?"

"No," Piper answered, she didn't want to sound rude but she only wanted to see one person, "Is Alex home?"

"Been locked up in her room all night," Nikki told her, "only came out for beer, she didn't even notice me cleaning the apartment. Wait, have you two had a lovers quarrel?"

Piper shook her head, "not that I'm aware of" she answered suddenly feeling unsure, she hadn't heard from Alex all day.

She knocked on Alex's bedroom door, but there was no answer. She pushed the door expecting it to be locked but it wasn't, she carefully pushed the door wide enough for her to step into the room. Alex was laid on the bed, eyes closed with a chunky pair of headphones pumping music into her ears. Piper could hear the baseline thumping from the other side of the room. She approached the bed and before she had a chance to reach for the headphones, Alex's eyes shot open.

"Piper?" The dark haired woman asked, she noticed the tear stained eyes and switched her music off, dropping the headphones to the floor beside the bed, "what's wrong?"

"Can I stay here with you tonight?" Piper asked, tears forming in her eyes.

"Of course you can," Alex shifted across the bed to give Piper room to sit beside her, "what happened, Pipes?"


	11. Love is untameable

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your response. It's quite overwhelming how much support you guys show. I have taken your comments and advice on board, and there is now a Rating Change, to M for 'sexual content'. Let's hope it doesn't get removed!**

**I would like to give a special thanks to cmc49abc for words of encouragement which put a huge smile on my face, and allowed me to write the lengthy chapter below.**

**I suppose I should state that I have borrowed one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite films, "10 Things I Hate About You" which, I have just thought, would that make a great Fanfic? Perhaps I will have a look over Taming of the Shrew and see whether I fancy making a go of it.. I digress. Further-more, as I like to also borrow some of my favourite lines from the show, so there is some of that in here too.**

**Chapter 11: Love is as untameable as it is unforgiving.**

As Alex awoke on Monday morning she noticed that she had done so just minutes before her alarm. She couldn't decide whether she was happy about this. On the one hand she could avoid the obnoxious sound of the incessant alarm, but on the other, it felt as though she had been robbed of those precious last minutes of sleep. She didn't think on it too much though, because as she swiped her phone to stop the alarm from sounding, she remembered there was somebody else with her in bed this morning. With a lazy smile, she rolled over to look at the beautiful woman beside her. It had been so long since she had last slept next to Piper, and while she enjoyed the space of having a king sized bed to herself, sleeping with Piper by her side was much more comfortable. Alex knew she would have to wake Piper soon, but didn't want to disturb her while she looked so peaceful. She watched for a few minutes longer, taking in all of the lines and curves of her face; the shape of her nose, her full pink lips, those long eyelashes as they began to flutter. Deep ocean blue eyes flickered open, and found their focus on a watching Alex. Piper pulled the sheets up over her head.

"Don't watch me while I sleep, you freak!"

Alex laughed her raspy laugh, "but you look so cute," she teased.

Piper pulled the sheets down and gave her a frown, "not cute."

Turning onto her back, Alex invited Piper in with a pat of her shoulder. The blonde shifted into place, resting her head on her chest, wrapping an arm around her waist and entangling their legs. Alex brushed a lock of blonde hair from her face as it tickled her chin, and placed a soft kiss on Piper's forehead, "I've missed this," she whispered, enjoying the warming feeling of Piper's skin pressed into her own. She could feel Piper even in places where they weren't touching. She felt her heart beat a little harder.

Piper smiled. With her head on Alex's chest, she knew she was exactly where she was meant to be, even if she'd had to break a heart to get there. She could hear Alex's heart beating and thought about how lucky she was to hear it at all, how lucky she was to have found her again, and how lucky they were that Alex was even alive. She turned her head and captured Alex's lips between her own. Nothing felt better than being closed off from the rest of the world, just the two of them, even if it was only for a few minutes.

"I don't want to move," Piper complained, cuddling into Alex tightly.

"Well if you don't stop squeezing me like that, I may actually pass out.." Alex smiled as she tried to readjust herself.

Piper released her grip, "sorry," she apologised and placed soft kisses along the woman's collar bone. She ran her hand slowly across Alex's stomach, with just the tips of her fingers as she moved to the sensitive skin of her hips. Alex shuddered beneath her touch, and Piper smiled feeling satisfied that she still knew which buttons to press.

"Well, I guess we better get up," Piper announced, removing herself from Alex who frowned at the sudden loss of contact.

"How are you feeling today?" Alex asked as she sat up.

"I don't know," Piper leant over the bed and grabbed her bag from the floor, "I guess anxious? I have so much to sort out and I don't know where to begin."

Alex nodded, she remembered how that felt. Lost.

"You know you can stay here, right? You know, until you find a place of your own or whatever?" Alex would have loved for Piper to live with her, but she knew it was early days for them, and she didn't want to suffocate their relationship before it had even had a chance to grow.

"Thanks, Al," Piper continued to route through her bag, pulling out her work shirt and putting it down beside her.

"I will empty some draws and stuff for you, you can't keep living out of a bag.."

Piper located the eye-liner hidden in the seam of her bag and looked up at Alex, "I do feel like a Hobo," she admitted.

She thought about Larry and how he would be this morning. She hoped that he was alright; she knew that he was quite a sensitive man, but he was logical, he would get through this.

As though Alex had read her mind, she asked whether Piper had heard from him at all. A glance of her phone told Piper that nobody had tried contacting her.

"He'll be ok," Alex tried to comfort her, "I mean, I thought my entire world had imploded when you left me, but I came through it, and I really didn't think I would. He will be in a dark place right now, but he will come through it."

"It's just weird," Piper tried to explain how she felt, "because I feel happy here with you, I feel happier than I ever did with Larry, and I wasn't unhappy with him.. and yet, I feel I don't deserve to feel this way when he is in so much pain."

Alex nodded, she remembered how it had felt to hurt Sylvia had been when she ended things with her because she'd fallen for Piper. It was an awful conflict of feelings, and it was hard to put them into separate boxes because those emotions were more like dominoes, they fell into each other in quick succession, quicker than your mind could even follow. It was confusing to be both happy and sad at the same time, to be relieved and yet worried, to ultimately feel like the bad guy who doesn't deserve to win. Knowing that your actions cannot go unpaid, that somehow you will get your punishment; and to want punishment because you believe you deserve it.

"I'm sorry," Alex apologised. She knew she held some of the responsibility for this.

"No you're not," Piper spoke with a smile, she knew that Alex was happy that her relationship with Larry had come to an end.

"Ok, I'm not sorry about _that_," Alex agreed, "but I am sorry that you feel like a bitch. You're not a bitch, Pipes."

"Would you have said that in Paris?" the blonde asked with raised eyebrows.

"In Paris I thought you were a super bitch," Alex admitted, "I thought that by being angry with you, or trying to hate you, I could get over it… but here we are."

"When did you start to forgive me?" Piper asked, she hoped that one day Larry could forgive her, even he never told her.

"I'll let you know when I do," Alex joked, "you have a lot of making up to do" she said suggestively.

"I think I'm up to the challenge," Piper responded as she moved back into Alex, their lips so close that she could feel the warmth of her breath. She recognised the change in the green-blue eyes as they clouded over with desire, and she knew that if she didn't move away quickly, they would end up late for work. Very late for work.

Alex practically growled in frustration when Piper climbed out of the bed. That was the second time this morning. "I can't believe I had you in my bed all night and managed to keep my hands to myself," she told her, "you have no idea how hard it is when all I want is to feel you."

"You think I have no idea?" Piper asked. She climbed back across the bed and watched as green-blue eyes shamelessly drank in the sight of her in just her underwear. Piper grabbed Alex's wrists and pinned them down beside her head, she knew she wasn't as strong as Alex and that if she wanted to, Alex could have easily flipped her over. But instead, she remained pinned down, paralysed by the touch of lips on her neck.

Piper's voice was low and throaty, "you think I haven't wanted you every time that I've been near you?" she took an earlobe between her teeth and pulled on it before whispering into her ear, "You think I haven't had dreams of fucking you? I'm going to destroy you Alex Vause." She smirked as she moved away from her, slipped casually off the bed, grabbed a towel and walked out of the room. She didn't need to look back to know that Alex was staring after her.

Piper learned as she showered that morning that sharing a bathroom with two other women would not be easy. She would have to give up her dignity, especially when they all started work at the same time, and demands on bathroom time were high. She had been disturbed twice in the shower by Nikki, once when she had wanted to brush her teeth, and then when she complained that she needed to pee. As soon as she had walked back into the bedroom, Alex shot past, racing against Nikki for the bathroom. The pair of them battled it out and Alex won, leaving Nikki to curse at them both as she ate her cornflakes. "I hate showering right after I've ate," she complained.

* * *

"You two are so the lesbians in that joke," Nikki teased as they left the apartment, "you know.. _What do lesbians bring to a second date?_ … A U-haul."

"You can be such an ass sometimes," Alex replied, she had briefed Nikki on the proposal/break-up the night before.

Nikki laughed and wrapped an arm around Piper, "Seriously though, what is with this chick? Does she have beer flavoured nipples, or some shit?"

Piper rolled her eyes, "I guess when people get a piece of me they just keep on coming back for more."

Alex raised her eyebrows, "oh, is that what you think?"

"That's what I know," Piper spoke confidently. She had come away from the timid young woman she had been when she had first met Alex. Alex awoke something in her then that she had re-awoken now, she couldn't put her finger on what it was, but she felt more confident about herself, about her sexuality and about her own potential.

Alex considered this for a moment, she wasn't sure about Larry, but she knew she could never get enough of Piper. It was as though she had an insatiable hunger for the woman.

Nikki watched as the two women looked at each other, "you guys haven't fucked yet, have you?" she asked, "I mean like, this time around."

Alex rolled her eyes, "none of your business, Nichols."

"Well that isn't a 'no' at all," Nikki spoke sarcastically. She raised a hand to Alex's forehead, "are you feeling ok?"

Alex pushed her away, "I'm not the one with a little black book!"

"Its pink, actually," Nikki correctly her.

"You keep a book?!" Piper asked in disbelief. She could count her sexual partners across two hands, and still had a few fingers unaccounted for.

"It's more like a volume of books," Alex exaggerated.

Nikki shook her head, "it's just a small list of names and a few comments."

"Comments?" Piper questioned with a laugh, "like what?"

"You know, notes on grooming, personal hygene, talents.."

"You keep a database of women you've slept with?" Piper could not believe anyone would do this.

"I prefer to think of it as a sort of fact file of fucks… a fuck file, if you will."

"But.. why?" Piper asked.

"For future reference," Nikki shrugged, "a guide of places to revisit and where to not make the same trip twice." She was very matter of fact. The list had started out innocently, and then she had found that she slept with people just to add their name to the book. It had been a bit of an addiction a few years ago, but that was back when she was so heavily into drugs that she needed to write everything down or else she would forget her own name.

"You're disgusting," Piper laughed, and then she had a thought… "Is Alex in this book?"

Nikki thought about this for a moment and then she chuckled and said, "Yep!"

"What?!" Alex cried in outrage, "we never fucked!"

"No, I think I've got you in there as more of a fumble."

"A fumble?" Piper asked, not sure whether she wanted to hear anymore.

Alex rolled her eyes, she couldn't believe she had made it into the book. "It was when we first met," she explained to Piper, "we were drunk as fuck and Nikki fancied her chances.."

Nikki gave another shrug, "your woman is hot," she admitted.

"Anyway, it was super awkward, so we gave up and baked a cake," Alex explained.

"We did bake a cake!" Nikki laughed at the memory, "I tried to make it look like a Vagina," she roared in laughter, "tastiest vagina I've ever ate!"

Piper couldn't help but laugh at the wild haired woman. She could say absolutely anything, no matter how outrageous, and some how it was never offensive.

"We've been best friends buds ever since," Alex knocked her shoulder into Nikki, "as if you included me in your stupid little book!"

"_Everyone _goes in the book."

They arrived at the store and dipped their heads under the half opened shutters. Alex headed down to the stock room to help with the Monday morning stock delivery whilst Nikki and Piper headed to the coffee shop. Alex stopped by the coffee shop a few times, in need of both a Piper fix and a caffeine fix to help her through her busy day.

The store manager had been given the go-ahead to develop the stationary and arts&crafts range. The left hand side of the store had been transformed over the weekend so that the book shelves were a little closer together, and new shelving units and display tables had been created in the front corner of the building. Alex had been organising the new stock and preparing new displays all day, and by the time 6pm came, Alex was ready to go home.

That evening, Alex curled up on the sofa with a book "borrowed" from the store, and Nikki's spent her time switching her attention between the television and her phone. Piper had offered to cook for them both as a thanks for letting her stay, and while both Alex and Nikki had insisted that she didn't need to keep thanking them, they were happy to let her cook. Although Alex made sure to remind Nikki that she was on dish washing duty following the Monopoly game. Piper couldn't help but watch Alex as she lost herself in the pages of her book, it didn't matter what Alex could be doing, she always seemed to look sexy doing it. Alex paused and looked up at Piper, she smirked knowing that she was being watched and then shifted her attention back to the book.

Once Piper had served up dinner, she placed the plates infront of the chairs at the bar. Nikki came over, sniffing the air appreciatively, and grabbed her plate before turning to walk back to the couch.

"Nuh-uh!" Piper called after her, "we're going to eat here."

Nikki turned, and gave Piper a look of disbelief. She turned to Alex, "has she always been such a Mom?!"

Alex laughed, "I'd do as she says, Nichols," she advised as she took her place opposite Piper. Nikki pulled out the stool and flopped down next to Alex, trying to turn her head to look at the television.

Piper decided this was the best she was going to get from her and turned her attention to her food.

"So how was your day?" Piper asked.

"Are we really doing this?" Nichols asked sceptically, "you know how my day was, it was exactly like yours."

"Well somebody has their panties in a twist!" Piper commented.

"Ignore Nichols, its her time of the month, she's synced up with Morello and its a fairly dry week, so to speak.."

Piper gave a nod of the head in understanding as she mouthed the word "oh".

"How about you, then?" the blonde asked Alex.

"It's better now," she answered smoothly.

"Do you want a cracker to go with that cheese?" Nikki interrupted.

"Seriously Nichols, what is wrong with you tonight?" Alex demanded, forcing her fork down onto her plate.

"It's nothing," Nichols shrugged them off, she took her plate and sat on the sofa.

"Just leave her to it," Alex shook her head, she wasn't sure what was wrong with Nikki, but she knew she needed time to cool down.

Alex and Piper made some small talk, avoiding any conversation that would relate to Nikki, or to Larry. Once their plates were clear, Piper said she was going to get a shower and asked Alex to come to the bedroom. Alex agreed and started to wash the dishes, putting aside the Monopoly bet.

Nikki made her way over and grabbed a towel, drying the dishes and putting them away.

"You going to tell me what's up?" Alex asked, breaking the silence.

"It's Lorna," Nikki threw the towel down onto the bar in frustration, "I didn't mention it before, but she has this boyfriend, Christopher." She pulled up her nose as she spoke his name.

"Morello has a boyfriend?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow, "since when?"

"Since always, I knew about him when we met but I figured she would dump him. He's a complete ass."

"Have you asked her to end it with him?" Alex asked gently.

Nikki nodded, her eyes were glossy, "yeah."

"And she won't?"

"She says she loves him."

"Shit," Alex placed the rinsed plate onto the drying rack and grabbed the towel to dry her hands.

"I don't know what to do," Nikki said.

"Do you love her?" Alex asked, she and Nikki didn't make a habit of having heart to hearts, and she wasn't sure whether she would get an honest answer.

Nikki shrugged, "it doesn't matter though, does it?"

"Come here," Alex opened her arms, and embraced her friend. She held her for a long time, ignoring the dampness on her t-shirt from fast falling tears as Nikki silently cried into her chest. This would be a moment that they would both always remember but never speak of.

A short while later, Nikki had calmed herself down and although Alex had offered for them to go out and get completely trashed the way they had when she had been upset about Piper, Nikki had uncharacteristically turned her down. "I think I need to talk to Lorna," she told Alex as she took her jacket and searched for her car keys.

"Do you think that is a good idea when your emotions are so raw?" Alex had never considered herself as a good agony aunt but she was impressed with her own advice. Of course, people never like to take other people's advice, no matter how good it is, and Nikki was no exception. She would do what she wanted to do, "I think I need to," Nikki spoke as she found her car keys.

"Good luck," Alex said as Nikki opened the door to leave. She wanted everything to work out for Nikki, she had never seen her so alive as she had been the last few weeks. Nikki was always a laugh, she always made crude jokes and was so quick witted when it came to their unrelenting banter, but recently there had been something about Nikki that Alex had never seen, she couldn't quite think of what it was, but it suited her.

"Love can be such a bitch sometimes," Alex announced as she pushed open the door to her bedroom. She stopped dead in her tracks. Piper stood on the other side of the room wearing just her underwear. Black underwear. Lacy underwear. Sexy, black, lacy lingerie. Blonde hair falling in loose waves around her shoulders as she stood by the bedside table looking at Alex with a look which fell somewhere between desire and amusement.

"Love is untameable," Piper spoke, "it is as untameable as much as it is unforgiving, it can cause even the strongest men to fall to their knees and give the weakest their strength."

Alex could hear her, but she wasn't listening to the words. Instead she found herself looking from those deep blue eyes, eyes that she could gladly drown in, down to the defined lines of her shoulders, down to where the black lace pushed those small beautiful breasts. Her eyes fell lower, following the defined line of Piper's toned stomach, and down to the black lacy underwear. A breath escaped her as she licked her bottom lip before biting it. Piper sauntered across the room in a painfully slow manner. Alex watched the rolling hips as they came towards her, Piper reached out, placing her fingers under her chin and gently tipping her head so that their eyes met. "I'm up here," she said, her voice commanding.

Alex flexed her neck in attempt to control her feverish desire. "Why do you have to be so god damn sexy," she growled, letting her eyes roam the slender body before her. Piper pulled her chin back up, "eyes," she said, her voice with a tone of warning.

Alex looked back into the blue eyes, and could see the burning desire in them. She put her hands on Piper's arms and pushed her gently but forcefully backwards, directing her to the bed where she pushed the blonde down in attempt to take control. She pulled her t-shirt up over her head and let it drop to the floor as she straddled Piper, pinning her hands down. She closed the distance between them, taking Piper's lips between her teeth and pulled gently, not looking away from her eyes. She smiled into her mouth Piper lifted her head and kissed her. They lost themselves in the dance of their tongues, each of them fighting for dominance, until at last Piper yielded, surrendering to Alex's touch. Alex broke their kiss, and placed small kisses along her jaw to her neck, taking the sensitive skin between her teeth and altering between licking and biting, down to her chest, and then back up, kissing her on the chin before crashing them into a passionate kiss. She released Pipers wrists, and felt as soft hands moved to touch her, on her back, on her stomach, her arms, and onto the back of her Neck as Piper attempted to hold her in place. Her attempt was futile. Alex moved a hand up Piper's stomach and onto her breast, gently squeezing, feeling the lacy material rub under her palms. She felt piper moan into her mouth and smiled, increasing the pressure on her breast. She roughly pulled the lacy material down, and thumbed the hardened nipple in circular motions, flicking her tongue across her bottom lip with each flick of the nipple. Pipers moan deepened.

Alex reached a hand around to her back and attempted to unclasp the bra. She hoped that she would be smooth enough to remove it without aid, but it was impossible. She felt Piper's hands under her own as the blonde released the bra, and she quickly ran her hands under the straps and guided the bra from her shoulders, and dropped it to the floor, her attention returning quickly to the rose pink nipples just inches from her mouth. She took her right nipple between her lips, as she continued to tease the left with her thumb, enjoying the soft moans escaping from Piper as the woman struggled beneath her.

"Please," Piper moaned, as she pushed against Alex's hand.

"Please what?" came the raspy voice as she taunted her.

"Please Alex..."

"What do you want Piper?" She asked and bit the nipple, not hard enough for it to be painful, but enough to cause the blonde to moan a little louder.

"Fuck me," came the words that Alex had wanted to hear, although it sounded more like a command.

Alex smirked, "fuck me?" She wanted Piper to beg for it.

"Please. Please fuck me," Piper said impatiently, grabbing Alex's hand moving down between her legs, she pressed Alex's hand into her, desperate to feel some pressure there.

"Patience," Alex said, she rubbed her thumb into damn material and felt Piper buck against her before broke the contact and removed her hand. Alex pushed one of Pipers legs so that they parted, and she moved between them, instead kissed Piper's just below her breasts, slowly descending down her stomach to where Piper wanted her touch the most.

When she reached the black lacy material, she continued placing kisses on Piper's thighs, slowly passing from one leg to the other, she placed a soft kiss on the dampened lacy material just above Piper's clit. She moved her hands and tugged on the material, and watched as Piper lifted herself and then pulled the underwear down her long toned legs and kicked them to the floor.

"You are so beautiful," Alex spoke, her eyes glazed over with lust as she looked down at the naked woman in front of her. Piper responded by grabbing Alex's wrist and pushing it back between her legs. With no further encouragement, Alex moved in, placing long slow licks along the silky folds, taking in the familiar taste of Piper, she moaned appreciatively into her, the sensation of which provoked another moan from Piper. She moved her attention to her swollen clit throbbing to be touched, and flicked her tongue across it gently before sucking it into her mouth. She felt as Piper moved a hand to the back of her head, her fingers entangling in her hair as she guided her. Alex leaned her weight into her left arm as she moved her right hand and pushed two fingers inside of her, curling them slightly as she began to move her hand in a steady motion. She found a rhythm between her fingers and her tongue and continued her attack on Piper as the blonde moaned and bucked against her, she quickened her pace, pushing harder, deeper, flicking her tongue until she felt Piper tighten around her, and heard her name being moaned loudly as she woman arched her back and then collapsed, spent on the bed. She waited a moment, catching her breath before she moved back down and gently licked, causing Piper to buck involuntarily against her tongue. Her lips curled up into a smile before she slowly removed her fingers, and brought them up to Piper's mouth. She watched as Piper tasted herself, opening her blue eyes to look at Alex. The brunette hovered above Piper for a moment before moving in and kissing her deeply.

Alex shifted herself so that she was laid beside Piper, and began to lazily twirl the locks of blonde hair between her fingers. Piper shifted her gaze so that she was looking into Alex's eyes, finding warmth and love there.

"Why do you always feel so inevitable to me?" Piper asked.

Alex looked back at her as she considered this, how the word "inevitable" was definitely the perfect way to describe them.

"I heart you," Alex spoke nervously, hoping that now was the right time to say it.

"You heart me?" Piper asked with a smile.

Alex laughed, "yeah."

"what is that? Like 'I love you' for Pussies?" Piper teased.

"Say pussy again," Alex responded trying to swallow her nerves. She moved in, cupping Piper's face in the palm of her hand as she kissed her tenderly, trying to show her that she meant those words. That it wasn't just a physical connection that they shared, but an emotional one too.

Piper looked at her, running a hand through her black hair, "I heart you too," she spoke slowly. Knowing she had never meant an "I love you" more than she did in that very moment.

Alex smiled in response and closed her eyes, feeling more at peace than she had in a very long time.


	12. There are no words to fix a broken heart

**A/N:** **Once again thank you all for your reviews. You guys are great! I was quite nervous about that last chapter, it sometimes feels a little personal writing that kind of thing. However, I expect I will be writing more of it. The next chapter is a bit short, I'm not 100% happy with it as it feels like a filler, which I suppose it is..**

**Chapter 12 - There are no words to fix a broken heart**

With a deep intake of breath, Piper pushed open the car door and stood looking at the apartment she shared with Larry. She had decided to use her day off to collect more of her belongings, knowing that Larry would be at work and she could avoid confrontation. She hated confrontation.

She expected that Larry would probably have stopped caring too much about the state of the apartment but she was shocked at just how bad things could get over just two days. She pushed open the door and nearly tripped over a stray shoe which she assumed had been thrown against the wall in a fit of rage. She kicked it aside and walked through the entrance hall into the lounge, she sighed at the sight before her. There were screwed up tissues littering the sofa, the coffee table and surrounding floor, an open pizza box with a stale, barely touched Pizza, a collection of empty beer cans, and a blanket indicating that Larry had slept on the couch. On the coffee table there was a single glass and a whisky bottle. She shook her head, "oh Larry," she said with a sad sigh. This was her mess, not his. She began to tidy up when she heard a cough coming from the bathroom. Her eyes widened as she realised Larry was home. She looked down the hallway to the door, and wondered whether she could run before he noticed she was here. No. She had to face him at some point. Why not now?

Larry walked into the living room wearing just his boxer shorts and one sock. He rubbed the shadowy looking stubble on his chin as he stared at Piper. He didn't seem surprised to see her, he showed no expression at all.

"Hey," she spoke, taking in his unkempt appearance. Her stomach tied itself into a knot as the familiar feeling of guilt began to stir.

"Don't look at me like that," Larry spoke, his voice was gentle.

Piper looked at his blood shot eyes, "like what?"

"Like you feel sorry for me, I can deal with anything else, but not that."

"I am sorry though," Piper tried, though she knew an apology was futile.

"Are you?" He asked sceptically as he moved into the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on.

"Larry, I didn't mean for any of this.. it just.."

"Don't tell me it just happened, Piper. Things like this don't just happen."

Piper considered this. Of course, Larry was right. Her situation was against the odds. What were the chances that their move to LA as a couple, would lead her to 'Book Ends', where her international drug dealer ex-girlfriend also worked. The chances were very slim, but obviously not impossible. She could have walked away from the job, she could have walked away from Alex, or exerted better control over her emotions. Although she knew that wasn't really true. She should have, but she knew that the magnetic pull she felt towards Alex was much stronger than her self control. She couldn't explain this to Larry. How could she tell the man whose heart she had broken in half that this was bigger than them? That he could never have won when pitted against Alex, that the way she felt for Alex wasn't just stronger than the way she could have ever felt for him, it was on an entirely different level to anything she could ever feel for anyone other than Alex. Instead she just agreed with him. It was easier than explaining something unexplainable.

"You're right," she spoke, "I shouldn't have let it go as far as it did."

"How far _did_ it go Piper?" He asked. And although he knew that he wasnt ready for the answer, he wanted to know. He needed to know.

"Not far," Piper told him. It was the truth at least. She and Alex hadn't been 'dating' for very long, and they hadn't done 'that' until last night. She tried not to think about last night, but it was as though her body was remembering for her, her skin recalling the way Alex's skin felt pressed up against her, how her lips felt..

"You're kidding me?" Larry asked, "you called things off with me for someone you hadn't even fucked yet? That's bullshit Piper."

"It's true, I didn't sleep with her while I was still with you." She shut her eyes tightly as she realised she had inadvertently admitted she had slept with Alex in the few days since their break up.

"But you have now," he spat bitterly, nauseous at the thought of Piper with someone else. With Alex. He didn't even know what Alex looked like, he didn't know much about her at all except for the fact her job had taken her around the world, and Piper had travelled with her. He didn't know what her job was, or how it was even possible that of all the places in the world her ex-girlfriend could have been, she lived in the same city as them, and worked at the same place as Piper. It just didn't seem possible.

Piper didn't think that the conversation was going anywhere healthy, so she tried to change the subject.

"Did you go to work yesterday?" She asked, although she knew the answer.

"Oh yeah! I thought I would be at my creative peak right after my girlfriend left me for a woman!"

Piper winced at his harsh tone.

"How could you do this to me, Piper?" Larry asked, he sat down on the sofa and held his head in his hands. "How could you just.." His voice caught, and he wiped away his tears. "What the fuck, Piper?" He growled angrily, his emotions switching from one to another before his thoughts had a chance to catch up.

"I don't know," Piper cried, she wanted to spare his feelings from the confusing truth, so she just played dumb.

She took her place on the sofa beside him and took one of his hands between hers. He flinched at the touch and withdrew his hand from her.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked her.

She shook her head, "I don't know."

"I don't know," he mimicked her under his breath, "what _do_ you know?"

"I know that you deserve better than this," Piper began-

"No shit," Larry interjected. He knew that he didn't deserve this, but he would never have expected to find himself in this situation. And he couldn't help but think that he wouldn't find anyone who he loved as much as he loved Piper, that he wouldn't ever be happy again. He deserved better than to feel this way.

They remained quiet for a while, Piper trying to think of words that she could offer him, something, anything to help ease his pain. But she had nothing. There simply just weren't any words for this. She reached for his hand again, and this time he allowed her to hold it. When he finally looked up to her, he could see the tears falling from her blue eyes. Without thinking he reached towards her face, and following instincts that felt so natural to him, he wiped the tears away with his thumb.

Piper met his sad brown eyes and smiled at him weakly. "I'm going to miss you, you know?"

"You don't get to say things like that to me," he told her flatly, there was no anger in his voice, he sounded tired.

"I know, I know that it's unfair to say it, but it's true. I will."

Larry looked away from her, and Piper watched him as he brought a hand up to his face. She looked away from him, feeling his need for privacy.

"Why did you come here, Piper?" he asked eventually.

"To get some of my things," she told him.

Larry reached for the whisky. Piper considered stopping him, but decided she really wasn't in any position to tell Larry what to do. Instead she took the bottle from him as he screwed the cap back on, and took a large swig herself. She winced at the burn in her throat. Larry laughed as he watched her screw up her face.

They remained in silence for a while, passing the bottle back and forth to each other as they attempted to numb themselves.

"You will be ok, you know," Piper advised, breaking their silence.

"You think?" he asked. The brown of his eyes had become narrower, his pupils widely dilated.

"Yeah, of course, you have so much going for you," Piper told him, "you have your career," she pointed out, "you're a decent guy, you will find someone who deserves you."

"I just don't understand," he said, tightly shutting his eyes as he tipped the bottle back once more.

"Honestly, I don't understand it myself, I wish I did. I wish I could explain it to you."

"Why her?" Larry asked.

"Because it could never be anyone else," Piper sighed, she took the bottle from him, and took another drink. Her vision was starting to become blurry and she had to concentrate to find focus.

"What?" Larry asked. He opened his eyes and looked at her for an answer.

"It's just _Alex_," she told him, she knew he wouldn't understand, but that was the explanation.

"When I met you," Larry frowned as he recalled the earlier days of their relationship, "you had been broken up for like what, four months?"

Piper nodded her head, remembering how Larry had helped to ease some of her pain.

"Were you over her?" He asked, "were you _ever_ over her?"

Piper closed her eyes, she knew the truth wouldn't be easy, "No. I wanted to be. I convinced myself that I was. But I would never be. Not really."

Larry nodded his head, he supposed that he understood that at least. He thought about his first love, she had broken his heart too, but he still thought of her fondly. He guessed this wasn't exactly the same, though. He had always been second best to this Alex woman.

"So what was I to you?" he asked, he felt unexpectedly calm as the words fell from his lips.

"You were my Larry," Piper told him with a smile, "you were my amazing boyfriend who I loved very much, who I still love.."

"Just not enough?" He asked.

"It's not really like that," she told him, knowing it wasn't easy to understand, "it's not about how much I love you."

"But how much you love her?" He asked, tears were forming in his eyes.

"I guess that might be the easiest way to explain it, but it's not as black and white as that."

"Nothing ever is," Larry swiped the bottle from her and took another large drink from it.

Piper relaxed into the comfortable sofa and looked around the living room. She could see items which belonged to her, furnishings that she had chosen, and she thought about how this had been her home a few days ago. It didn't feel like home anymore. Home was with Alex, wherever that was, wherever it would take them.

"I guess I better start.." Piper indicated. She stood up from the sofa and felt herself sway a little. They both laughed and she sat back down. "Maybe I will give it a minute or two."

She closed her eyes as she willed herself to sober up enough to at least move, but glad that she felt less anxious about being there with Larry. It hadn't been comfortable, but it hadn't been as awful as she thought it could have been. She couldn't blame him for his anger, or his questions, and he deserved answers to any question he had.

After a few minutes had passed, she left Larry on the sofa, as he continued to make his way through the bottle.

Piper began by opening draws and sorting through the contents, deciding what was necessary and what could be left for another time. She started a pile of items on the bed. It was strange packing up things that she had only just recently unpacked, it only reminded her just how fast it had taken her to fall back in love with Alex. Or had she never really fallen out of love with her? She wasn't sure, and she didn't think it mattered all that much. Fast or not fast, she knew how she felt, and she knew what she wanted. She thought about this morning, waking up to Alex was the only way she felt that she should ever wake up. She felt soft kisses being placed up the back of her neck only seconds after the alarm had sounded, and she turned to pull the woman down into her, kissing her passionately. And then she thought about Larry draining the bottle of whisky in the other room.

"Hey," Larry said, leaning unsteadily against the door-frame.

"Hey," Piper smiled weakly back at him, feeling uneasy about his sudden appearance.

Larry moved across to her as she continued to add to the pile on the bed. He placed a hand on her waist, and tried to pull her towards him, stumbling a little as he tried to keep his balance.

Piper looked up at his bloodshot eyes, "you ok?" she asked, trying to help steady him.

"Mmmh," he nodded, and placed a second hand on her waist, holding the slender woman in front of him.

Piper felt as his hand moved up her body, along her back and towards her neck. It happened so fast that she didn't even have time to register what Larry's intentions were. He pulled her in roughly and kissed her hard. Piper pushed her hands hard against his chest, spitting his lips and his stubble away. Larry pulled her in again, unaware or in spite of her rejection, Piper wasn't sure. Her heart was beating fast, she felt scared of Larry, an emotion she had never associated with the man.

"Come on, one last time," Larry tried to encourage her.

She turned her head quickly as he moved his face towards her.

"Larry! STOP!"

She pushed against him as hard as she could.

Piper watched as Larry stumbled backwards, he twisted in an attempt to put his hands out to grab the chest of draws, missed and fell forwards. There was a loud crack as the front of his head hit the corner of the unit and a thud as he crashed, face down, to the floor. He lay motionless. Piper wasn't sure whether to go to his aid, she could see that he wasn't moving but he had just forced himself on her, what if he tried it again?

Cautiously, she called his name, "Larry?"

Nothing.

"Larry?" She moved a little closer, looking down at the back of his head. She expected to see blood. Placing a hand near to his mouth and nose, she sighed in relief as she felt his slow steady breath against her skin.

She didn't know what to do next. Should she call for an ambulance?

In a panic, she dialled Alex's number and as it rang out, she remembered that she was in work. She dialled the number for the store. Alex would know what to do.

"Book Ends, Natasha speaking, how can I help?"

"Natasha, could you put Alex on for me, its Piper. It's an emergency."

She could hear some shuffling and then silence for a while. She paced up and down beside Larry's still body. It felt like an hour had passed but it had only been a few minutes.

"Pipes?" a raspy voice called her name down the phone. She felt herself ease a little at the familiar sound of her voice.

"It's Larry," she spoke hurriedly, "he's been drinking, he's fallen over and hit his head and now he's not moving."

"Is he breathing?"

"Yeah, but he isn't moving. He hit his head pretty hard."

"Right, send me the address and I will be there as soon as I can."

Piper sent the text as soon as she hung the phone up, and moved down to Larry and began turning him over so that he wasn't face down. As she did, she noticed him begin to stir. She stroked his face as he woke up.

Just as Larry opened his eyes, a knock at the door told Piper that Alex had arrived, she rushed to let her in.

"Hey, how is he?" Alex spoke breathlessly. She had practically ran the entire way from the store.

She followed Piper into the bedroom.

Larry's eyes opened and he lifted a hand to the back of his head, groaning at the pain. He made an attempt to get up, but felt the room spinning around him, so he stopped, propping himself against the dresser.

"Larry?" Piper spoke his name softly.

"Fuck, Piper," he grumbled, "I'm sorry."

Alex looked from Larry to Piper. Why was he sorry? What did he do?

"Not now" Piper mouthed silently.

Larry turned his attention from Piper to Alex, he hadn't known anybody else was in the room with him. He knew in an instant who she must be. Suddenly angry, he attempted to get to his feet. How dare she be in his apartment! In their bedroom!

He stumbled, and grabbed the dresser to steady himself as he stood up, "you," he growled. He swayed a little as his focussed his attention on the stranger.

This woman was the cause of his pain, the reason Piper had left him.

Alex moved to his side, and wrapped an arm around him, "come on, let's sit you down," she said and moved him to the bed.

"Get off me!" He shrugged her away. Alex had half expected this reaction.

"Larry, I think we may have to get you to the hospital," she advised, her voice calm, gentle. Was that pity he could hear?

"I said, get off me!"

Alex stepped away from him and watched as he stumbled towards the bed.

"Piper, do you want to go start the car."

"I can't drive," Piper told her feeling helpless, "I've been drinking a little too.."

"Right," Alex pursed her lips together, "ok, well then if you take Larry's other arm, we will take him down your car and I will drive us to the hospital."

Larry resisted their help at first, but soon found he didn't have the energy to continue. He allowed them to lift him and guide him out of the apartment, down the stairs and into Alex's car.

As Alex drove, Piper sat in the back trying to keep Larry from falling asleep. "I think he might have concussion," she told Alex.

"What happened?" Alex asked, looking at the two of them through the rear view mirror. Why had Piper been drinking?

"Now isn't the time," Piper warned.

"Did he hurt you?!" Alex asked, an edge to her voice.

"No," Piper answered, "he was just drunk, I don't think he really thought about what it was he was doing."

Larry mumbled something in response, but neither of them could comprehend what he had intended to say.

"Are you ok?" Alex asked, with a quick look over her shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I pushed him away and he lost his balance, hit his head as he fell.."

Alex pushed away her feelings of anger for the barely-concious man, thankful that Piper had been able to push him away. She felt protective over Piper, something which she hadn't felt too much the first time around, when she thought nothing of asking Piper to be a mule and carry heroin across the boarder. She had been selfish then, she had only thought about the money, about the thrill of pulling it off. Danger had just been part of the job, and she had been doing it so successfully for so long that it seemed as though the danger of being caught was an empty threat. But it was different now, it had taken losing Piper once for her to realise how precious she was, and she didn't ever want to put her in danger again.

They pulled into the hospital car-park and walked Larry into the ER. After a few hours of waiting, it was decided that Larry had concussion and would need to be monitored for the rest of the day, and as they didn't know anybody else, the responsibility fell on Piper.

"I guess I'm keeping you company tonight," Piper told Larry as they climbed into the car.

Piper woke the next morning to find that Larry had ignored the doctors advice and had already left for work. She decided that he must have felt well enough to go, considering he skipped work for the last two days in favour of drinking himself silly.

She got herself ready, tidied the place up a little so that Larry wouldn't have to come home to his mess, and took loaded the bag she had packed the day before, into her car. Nikki had offered Piper a shift swap so that she could look after Larry today, but with Larry at work, she found herself with the day off. And, as luck would have it, it was also Alex's day off. She checked the time, it was 9am, and she doubted that Alex would have rolled out of bed yet.

Picking up some breakfast and coffee on the way, Piper smiled to herself as she thought about spending an entire day with Alex. No more sneaking around. They were a _real_ couple now, and as soon as the thought had crossed her mind, she realised that actually they hadn't made anything official. Everything had happened so fast in the last few days that she and Alex hadn't had a chance to discuss the status of their relationship. Were they "together"? It felt like they were. In some ways it felt as though they had never been apart.

Piper made the decision to change that, and she began to form a plan for a third date. She had broken her and Alex up, and she would make sure they were officially back together again.


	13. Under the light of a thousand stars

**A/N:** Wow! Such great comments! I really do appreciate the time you take to review, it really is encouraging. I must apologise for not updating as quickly as usual, I've been a little distracted this week, and I don't know why but I have struggled with a bit of writers block at this point in the story. In fact, I've actually written most of the next chapter whilst struggling along with this one, so the next update shouldn't be too far away.

The chapter title is a line from the Ed Sheeran song "Thinking Out Loud", a song which I just keep playing over and over and over..

**Chapter 13 - Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars**

"Did you really think you were going to get away with it, Vause?"

Alex struggled against the rope around her wrists. She knew that she couldn't escape but her hands seemed to be moving of their own accord. She looked at the man on the other side of the room, his wide smile looked dangerous.

"I wasn't any use to you anymore, my heart wasn't in it," Alex answered.

"Oh!" Kubra moved a little closer to her, "your _heart_ wasn't in it," he nodded his head as though he understood. Alex knew she wasn't getting off so lightly. She knew he was being sarcastic.

"Was your heart in the $70,000 you took with you?"

Alex didn't answer. What could she say? She'd stolen money from the kingpin of an international drugs cartel.

"The Feds are on my case," Kubra told her, he seemed calm, as though this was no big issue. But it was a big issue. If the Feds probed deep enough, they would find Kubra, and they would take him down. And Alex too.

"I simply can't have ex-employees running around the place. You know too much."

Alex swallowed. She could beg for her life, she could promise that she wouldn't talk to the feds but it wouldn't matter, she was a risk and one which Kubra wasn't willing to consider.

"Jitu!" Kubra called. A man entered the room.

"Like I said before, we both know there is only one way out of this business," Kubra reminded Alex of the last conversation they'd had before she ran.

He turned to Jitu, who had now pulled out a pistol and was casually spinning it around his finger. "Clean up the mess when you're done," Kubra spoke as he left the room.

Alex could hear the metallic sound of the gun being loaded and cocked, and then there was a ringing sound. But guns don't ring?

The ringing continued, growing louder. Her assassin came towards her as though he couldn't hear the loud noise. But how could he not hear it?

She was looking down the short barrel of the gun now.. She closed her eyes waiting for it. Still the shrill ringing continued. She wondered whether it was in her head.

Did she dare to open her eyes again? and look down the barrel of the gun before it delivered her quick end?

But nothing happened. She was still alive. Why hadn't he pulled the trigger yet?

Slowly, she opened her eyes and found that she was facing a familiar wall. She blinked and then closed her eyes tightly. Taking a deep breath, she counted down.. three.. two.. one. And forced her eyes open, daring her surroundings to change once more.

They remained the same.

She was in her bedroom.

It had been a dream. Just another bad dream.

Alex sighed in relief, and then winced at the shrill ringing that had woken her. She climbed from her bed and walked to the her door, picking up the intercom.

"What?" she practically barked, still shaken from the dream and paranoid that whoever was waiting for her could be dangerous.

"It's me." A bright, familiar voice answered through the speaker.

"Pipes?" She asked, instant relief swept through her. She buzzed to let Piper into the building and stepped into the hallway, not caring whether any of the neighbours caught sight of her in just her shorts and bra. Piper came into view seconds later, holding up two paper cups of coffee and a brown bag. Alex smiled at her and stepped aside to let the blonde past, following her into the bedroom.

"Breakfast!" Piper announced, she placed the coffee and the brown bag on the bedside table and removed her shoes. Alex climbed under the bed sheets and watched as Piper undressed down to her underwear before slipping in beside her. She pulled her in close, enjoying the soft warmth of her skin as their bodies fit snugly together in a spooning position. "Good morning," she murmured, gently moving aside blonde hair and kissing the exposed skin of her neck.

Piper smiled, feeling lips pressing into her neck, "good morning."

"I thought you were babysitting Larry today?" Alex asked.

"Me too, but he left before I even woke up."

"Did he manage to keep his hands to himself last night or do I have to go kick his sorry ass?" Alex asked, she tried to seem casual, but she couldn't help feeling irritable at the idea of him trying to touch Piper, jealous even that Piper may have wanted it.

"Yes, he was very well behaved," Piper replied, "and apologetic, I think he's just really messed up right now. I really did a number on him."

Alex gritted her teeth, she didn't think that was any excuse for him to put Piper in a position like that. At least he ended up worse off. She nuzzled back into Piper's neck, enjoying the scent of the almond milk shampoo. She pulled the blonde in even closer.

"Mmm, I missed you last night," Alex spoke, her breath tickling Piper's ear. She felt the blonde shiver at her touch, and smirked. They both knew how quickly Piper could come undone at Alex's touch.

"Breakfast is getting cold," Piper warned, though she made no effort to move.

"What _is_ breakfast?" Alex asked. It may have been ungrateful but if Piper had brought her something healthy like a whole-grain muffin then she would rather work off the calories than consume them. Actually, she wasn't sure that it mattered at all what was for breakfast, she wanted Piper more than she wanted food.

"I think you'll like it," Piper encouraged as she felt Alex begin to explore her body with roaming hands.

"I think _you'll_ like it," Alex repeated Piper's words, implying different meaning. She moved a hand beneath Pipers bra, cupping her breast as she moved her thumb in circular motions over the hardened nipple. A sigh escaped from Piper as she moved her neck, giving easier access to Alex's soft lips. Any attempt at fighting the rapidly growing desire would be futile.

"I want you to cum," Alex's raspy voice whispered, her hot breath caressing Piper's ear. It was more than she could bear.

Piper replayed the words in her head as she felt a tongue flick once across her earlobe, she sucked in air, trying to hold herself together. How she wished that she wasn't so easy when it came to Alex. She always had the intention of making her work for it a little harder, but she rarely had the strength to resist her. Alex could seduce her with ease, as though she held some kind of hypnotic power over her.

As soft lips moved down Piper's neck to her shoulders continuing to place kisses along her back, it was enough for Piper to forget about anything else. She turned to face Alex, reached to pull her in and kissed her in one fluid motion.

The kiss deepened immediately, both hungry for more, hands wildly exploring each other. It was a conflict of feelings, of being completely consumed by one another but of wanting more, needing more, unable to get enough. Alex momentarily pulled away to catch her breath, suddenly dizzy at the intensity of their physical and emotional connection. It had always been this way, a force stronger than she could control. It was scary just how deeply she felt it, overwhelming just how much she loved the woman in her arms.

Piper, feeling the need to take control, took this opportunity to push Alex down into the bed. The raven haired made no attempt to fight against her, accepting Piper's dominance. Blue eyes piercing into her, no words required for them to communicate their feelings. This was more than just sex, more than just two people, two bodies moving together. This was something they shared together, something which they felt with only each other, something unique. It was unexplainable, it made no sense at all, and yet it made more sense than anything else in the world.

Alex reached up, cupping Piper's face in the palm of her hand, losing herself in sapphire blue eyes, she guided Piper to meet her, lips touching softly. She felt Piper release her grip on her wrists, moving her hands down to the curves of her chest. Alex quickly released the clasp on her bra before reaching to free Piper from hers, and looked up at the beautiful woman straddling her midriff. Piper wasted no time in resuming contact, closing the distance between them and kissing Alex's full, round breasts. With a smile as she took in the familiar marzipan fragrance, Piper took a rosy pink nipple between her teeth and pulled on it lightly before rolling her tongue over repeatedly over the hardened nub. She moved her hand down and pulled on the fabric of her shorts, Alex complied, slipping the material down her legs and kicking her shorts to the floor. Piper closed the distance between them by capturing Alex's lips in a passionate kiss, she waited a moment before dipping her hand into the wetness between her thighs and feeling Alex moan into her mouth. She began to expertly rub her clit, enjoying how Alex gyrated as she fucked against her hand. Once she felt as though she had teased her enough she pushed deep and hard into Alex and began thrusting in a steady rhythm. As Alex moaned loudly, Piper broke their kiss and moved back down to her tits, roughly taking a nipple into her mouth and flicking her tongue across it in time with the movement of her hand.

"I want to taste you," Piper growled as she moved down her body.

Slowly and gently, she removed her fingers and Alex opened her eyes, watching as Piper slowly licked her wetness from her fingers. The blonde smirked, she knew not to waste any time and ran tongue between soft folds before plunging deeply to taste her. Alex let out a moan at the sensation and involuntarily bucked in need. With the very tip of her tongue, Piper flicked her throbbing clit and roughly pushed her fingers into her, fucking her as hard as she could. The familiar growing burn began, becoming hotter and hotter, her moans increasing in both volume and frequency as she felt herself racing towards climax. She could feel as her own body began to shudder uncontrollably as she rode the waves of orgasm, she could feel it everywhere, she could feel Piper touching her throughout her entire body and then she relaxed, her body limp against the cushions. Revelling in the sensation of relief, she wasn't sure whether she had ever felt so comfortable. She watched as Piper crawled up alongside her and draped an arm lazily across her stomach. She took in a long breath and sighed happily in a dreamlike state. She took her time to recover as Piper cuddled into her, and then returned the favour twice over.

A lazy day ensued soon after. The cold breakfast was replaced by a tower block sandwich in which Alex had practically used anything and everything she could find in the fridge, and a handful of chips for added crunch. Piper laughed at the leaning sandwich when Alex delivered it to the bedroom. Being too hungry and too worn out to complain, she began to devour the sandwich, surprised by how good it tasted.

Alex folded her arms and pursed her lips as Piper finished the sandwich, dipping the last piece of bread into some of the ranch dressing which had dripped onto her plate.

"Much better than all that posh shit that you eat!" the dark haired woman announced proudly.

Piper rolled her eyes, "I'd have eaten a scabby donkey, I was so hungry!"

They finally left the bedroom sometime in the mid afternoon, and spent the afternoon watching films under a blanket. Nikki walked in sometime in the early evening with Lorna in tow. Alex watched the pair wondering whether there would be any tension but it was as though the other evening hadn't happened, Nikki was back to her usual self and Lorna was happily chatting away to Piper.

Having no family, and no contact with any of her old friends had sometimes made Alex feel a little disconnected from the world, but as she chatted and laughed with the three women, it felt a little like how she thought having a family around her would feel. She loved both Nikki and Piper in very different ways, and though Nikki and Lorna had their issues to work through, she liked Lorna a lot too.

Lorna offered to cook and spent an hour in the kitchen routing through the fridge and the cupboard, impressed that they at least had fresh ingredients like onions and garlic. Piper assisted with some of the chopping as the petite Italian complained that she could barely see through her weeping eyes as she struggled with the onion. Nikki had made sure that Piper was aware that they would not be sitting around the kitchen counter, and so they all took their servings of spaghetti and bolognaise and moved back around the kitchen.

Just as the sky had began to darken, Piper disappeared from the room only to reappear shortly after changed out of her pyjamas and in jeans and a t-shirt.. "I'm just popping out for supplies for tonight," she announced, planting a quick kiss on Alex, who looked perplexed.

"Supplies?"

Nikki scoffed, "lube!"

Piper rolled her eyes, "not lube, just a few things."

Alex tried to think about what she could possibly need to go to the store for, "what are we doing tonight?"

Nikki gave a cough although it sounded a lot like the words 'strap-on'.

"We're going out." Piper spoke, ignoring Nikki.

"We are?" Alex asked, being curled up on the sofa in sweat pants, she far too comfortable to consider moving.

Piper smiled, "yes, you don't need to change, we aren't going anywhere... public" she thought as she tried to describe where they were going without giving anything away.

"Dogging," Nikki commented.

Alex looked at Piper with curiosity, she hadn't mentioned any plans for this evening, and it was dark now, where could they possibly be going which wasn't "public" at this time of the day. Didn't Piper know how dangerous L.A could be come night time, especially in the less public areas..

* * *

"Where are you taking me?" Alex asked as the Piper continued to put more and more distance between the twinkling lights of L.A and the rocky, winding dark road ahead.

"You will see," Piper smiled.

Alex wasn't too fond of surprises, she liked to be in control. But she trusted Piper enough to let her take control, in more ways than one.

They appeared to be in a desert of sorts, sand clouded up behind them, glowing under the car lights. They were moving gradually higher, and definitely further away from the smog of the city. The sky was becoming clearer and as the city lights began to fade away, Alex could just about see the blinking of stars above.

Alex looked out of the window at the rock formations they passed along the winding road. There were no other cars insight ahead or behind them. She couldn't think where Piper would be taking her at this time of night, this far away from the city. Further was her surprise when Piper slowed the car and pulled into a gravel pull off.

"Are we lost?" Alex asked as she looked around.

"Did you have Larry in the trunk or something?" She asked, "Because I know, I know I used to supply drugs to junkies, and money launder, and god knows what other crimes, but burying a dead body was never part of my repertoire."

Piper gave Alex one of her classic eye rolls and shook her, "no, this is where we are having our date."

She laughed as Alex looked around at their location in distaste.

"What was wrong with my apartment?" Alex asked, "it's much more comfortable… much less.. Horror movie."

"Live a little Vausemouse, didn't you once travel the world?"

"Yes, in hotels," she pointed out, "in you know, well-lit, populated areas."

Piper scoffed, "cities filled with prostitutes and poverty," she reminded her of some of the less glamorous sights they had seen during their travels together.

"So, why here?" Alex asked.

Piper climbed out of the car and headed to the trunk.

"Because there's nobody else here."

"You took me into the middle of the Californian desert for privacy?"

"And clarity."

"Clarity? Ok kid, now you've lost me."

Piper passed Alex a folded chair, slung a canvas bag over her own shoulder and carried her own chair over the gravel, leading the way. They walked for a few minutes until Piper placed down her chair, and slid the bag from her shoulder. "Here," she announced. Alex unfolded her chair and placed it beside Pipers.

"Here?"

Piper nodded, "seems as good a place as any," she spoke with a smile, enjoying that she had confused Alex. Things were a little different now, before Alex had always been so in control, she knew where they were going, how they would get there, which passports they needed, everything. Piper had always just followed her, going along with whatever plans the darker haired woman had made, because she had trusted that she knew best. But now, Alex was in the back seat of Piper's ride, and Piper was calling the shots. Alex would never have allowed this before, she would always take over, always.

"Ok," Alex said and she sat down on the chair staring ahead at the outline of some rock formations and darkness.

Piper smiled. Alex claimed that she was just the same as before, but she wasn't. She was still Alex, but her edges had softened, and she was much less selfish, much less domineering. Lust and money had always been her main driving forces, but now she seemed to have matured a little, she seemed to love and trust Piper in a way she could never have done back then.

Taking a seat beside her, Piper reached out for Alex's hand.

"This is the weirdest place that anybody has ever taken me," Alex said as she turned to look at Piper.

"I have my reasons," Piper smiled. She routed around in the canvas bag and pulled out a bottle of beer and a bottle opener, she passed them to Alex and took a bottle of iced tea out for herself. She positioned the drink between her legs as she pulled out a bag of chips, and a box of cookies.

"A much better picnic," Alex smiled, reaching for the chips.

"Look up," Piper instructed Alex.

Alex looked up to find that they were sat under the light of a thousand stars.

"I don't even remember the last time I saw a star that wasn't engraved into a sidewalk," Alex spoke as she looked up above her. She had never been one for looking up, growing up with the light pollution in New York had meant that she had never really noticed the stars there either.

Piper pulled out her phone and loaded an app which used GPS to locate their position, she lifted the phone to face the stars and it showed her the constellation. She and Alex moved the phone around, picking out the different constellations. Alex watched Piper as she stared up above, "it's amazing to think that we can actually see something which isn't even part of our world."

"It's amazing just how small the world can be sometimes," Alex reached out for the phone and slipped it into her jeans pocket. Piper looked after her and reached to retrieve the phone, but found that instead she was pulled into the taller woman, and in just seconds their lips were pressed together. Alex cupped her face, kissing her tenderly.

Dazed, Piper stood on the spot, her eyes closed, even when the kiss had ended.

"It's nice to be nowhere with you," Alex told her, her expression now serious "I'd go anywhere with you, do you know that?"

"It used to be the other way around," Piper commented, remembering just how readily she had packed up and left her life to follow Alex around the world.

They sat back into their chairs, hands held as they looked up at the sky.

"When I left," Piper began, "I thought I would never see you again, at first that was exactly what I wanted. Not because I didn't love you, but because I did. And I knew that if I saw you again, if I ever looked back, I would give it all up again, I would stay with you while you became more involved in your work and less involved in me, and I would just wait, and hope for something to change."

"Piper, I- " Alex had wanted to apologise for her behaviour towards the end of their relationship, but piper stopped her from interrupting.

"One night a few weeks after I'd moved back to New York, I was sat on Polly's balcony, and she was twittering on about something, trying to distract me from thinking about you, I suppose.. but I couldn't help but wonder where you were, and I noticed the moon. No stars. Just the bright light of the moon. And I thought about how, no matter where you are in the world, you can see the moon. And I wondered whether you were looking at the moon too, although I knew you wouldn't, I pretended that you were. It was nice to know there was still something in my world that existed in your world too."

Alex considered Piper's words for a moment. The practical part of her wanted to point out that there was also the sun, the life source for the entire planet. But instead, she followed Pipers gaze to the the moon above. The vast darkness that engulfed the sky, and there shining from hundreds of thousands of miles away they could see the bright white orb of moon. She gave Pipers have a squeeze, silently telling her that she understood. Wherever they were in the world, even if the sun rose and set at different times, if they looked out into the darkness, no matter where that darkness was or what was hidden there, they were able to see the same bright moon. It connected them.

"That's quite poetic, Pipes," Alex spoke at last.

"I have my moments," Piper smiled.

"Did you really think about me that often?"

"I did," Piper sighed, "You managed to get on my nerves even when you weren't in the same continent," she gave Alex a playful nudge.

"That reminds me, I'll have to have a look for it but I bought you something while I was on the run in Europe."

"You bought me something? But how did you know we would see each other again?"

Alex shrugged, "I didn't."

"You're not as badass as you like people to think," Piper commented.

"Maybe," Alex tipped her beer back with a smile.

"Do you know what, we haven't had the conversation," Piper spoke, trying to keep her tone casual.

"What conversation?"

"_The_ conversation.."

Alex looked at her blankly. "I'm sorry, but I think you're going to have to be a bit more specific."

"You know, about us, about where we _are_.."

Alex blinked. She took another look at the surroundings and then she spoke slowly, "you brought me here, to the desert, to look at the stars and the moon and shit."

Piper rolled her eyes, she knew that Alex must have understood that she didn't mean geographically.

"I mean, you know, are we getting back together?"

Alex smirked, she watched Piper as she took another long drink from her bottle.

"I'll think about it."

Piper stared at her, lips slightly parted as she struggled for a response.

"I'm joking, I'm joking," Alex laughed her raspy laugh, "are you going to run away again?" she asked, she was being playful but it was a secret fear of hers, and Piper knew it.

"Are _you_ going to abandon me in favour of pushing heroin?"

"Ouch," Alex feigned being burned by her words.

Piper gave her a tight lipped smile, "no, I'm not going to do another runner."

"Hmm.." Alex said, pretending to consider her options, "well, I suppose we could give it another go..."

"Alex!" Piper playfully punched her in the arm, "be serious!"

"Ok, ok," Alex smiled, "Piper Chapman, will you be my girlfriend?"

Piper smiled back happily, "I will."

She had planned to be the one to ask, but it hadn't happened that way. Sometimes, especially with Alex, words had a funny way of escaping her. Sometimes she could be so eloquent, and describe the thoughts in her mind with ease, and other times it felt as thought her brain was a sieve and the thoughts were draining away faster than she had a chance to catch them. Alex, while often quite careful with her emotions, had never seemed to struggle for words in the same way as Piper, she always remained calm, and spoke directly, sometimes even bluntly, with little regard for other people's feelings. Whilst she would protect her heart with defences that had taken Piper a long time, and a lot of patience and perseverance to bring down, she was always honest.

Alex shifted in her chair a little, turning to look back up at the moon. She'd never paid it much attention, but Piper had given the moon some meaning, it was no longer just a white glowing ball in the night sky. She smiled as blue eyes came into view, and then soft lips pressed against hers. She wrapped her arms around Piper as the woman sat in her lap and it occurred to her how before Piper, and after Piper, her life had been just an existence but with Piper.. With Piper, she felt she had purpose.

"Thank you," Alex spoke as she hugged Piper tightly.

"What for?"

"For coming back."


	14. Leverage

**Chapter 14 - Leverage**

As 8.30am crept up, Alex continued with her ritualistic Thursday morning stock receipt. She knew to expect Nikki or Piper at any moment with her coffee. She yawned thinking back to the late night she'd had with Piper. They had now been "official" for two weeks, she smiled thinking back to their night under the stars. Since then they had been near inseparable. Piper had moved a lot of her non-essential belongings into storage while taking a casual attitude towards finding a new place to live.

Another hour passed and Alex checked the clock, disappointed that nobody had made an appearance with her coffee. Just as she was about to go upstairs and collect one for herself when she heard the door open and Rick, the manager of the coffee shop rushed over to her. "Nikki and Piper haven't turned up for work," he told her.

Alex frowned and looked up at the man, "what?"

It was unlike Piper to ever be late for anything, especially not work, but for her to not show up, something had to be wrong.

"Do you know where they are?" He asked impatiently.

"No," Alex felt her heart thudding hard in her chest, "let me see if I can get hold of them?"

Rick nodded and ran a hand through his hair. Alex ignored his mumbling about not being able to open the shop on his own and wiped her finger across the screen of her phone. She hit Piper's name and waited. And waited. It rang out and she heard the automated voice asking her to please leave a message after the tone. A lump formed in her throat, she took a deep breath trying to remain calm. There would be a rational explanation for this. It could be anything, perhaps the toaster had set on fire, or they couldn't find their keys, or something? She hit Nikki's name and waited. And waited. When Nikki's phone rang out, she hung up and began to pace. Ignoring Rick's gaze, she hit Piper's name once more. Voicemail again. A cold feeling puddled in her stomach. Something was wrong. She typed a quick text and sent it to them both.

"Something's wrong," she said out loud, her voice caught in her throat. Rick stared at her.

"I'll go back to the apartment," she suggested, "see what's going on." She pushed her phone back into her pocket and hurried up the stairs, asking Rick to let her manager know what was happening.

Alex ran as fast and as hard as she could, but the short journey home felt as though it was taking forever. Her heart hammering in her chest, she fumbled with her keys and the door, panting as she struggled to catch her breath. She had no idea what she would find on the other side of the door. She hoped that Piper and Nikki would be rushing to get to work, late as they had both slept through their alarms, but somehow she knew this wasn't the case. She took a breath and roughly pushed the door open. The apartment was silent. Still. She looked to the kitchen where Piper's bag and keys sat on the counter. Piper would never leave without her keys.

"Piper?" she called, she knew instinctively that she wouldn't receive a reply, "Nikki?"

Alex moved further into the apartment, she noticed a dent in the wall which hadn't been there before. Signs of a struggle. But who? Why? Then she noticed the bathroom door and the towel which lay on the floor. Piper's towel. She ran to the bathroom, her heart hammering so hard that she could hear the blood pulsing in her ears. There was nothing there, she couldn't decide if she felt scared or relieved.

"Pipes?!" She called out, her voice breaking.

Alex moved quickly, throwing open the door to Nikki's bedroom. Empty. She scanned the room and noticed a plate on the bed with a half eaten slice of toast. Nikki never skipped breakfast. She knew it already, but she wasn't ready to accept it. She moved to her own room and with the exception of ruffled bed sheets, she found it tidy but empty.

"Fuck," Alex looked at the phone on the end of her bed. Piper's phone.

Feeling nauseous, Alex sat on the edge of the bed. Her head was spinning, Piper wouldn't leave her bag, her keys and her phone. The towel on the floor. Nikki's part eaten breakfast. The dent in the wall. There was only one explanation. They'd been taken.

* * *

It was dark. Her head was pounding. The first thing Piper noticed as she woke up was the restriction of tape across her mouth. She could hear the sound of an engine, and the slight rickety motion beneath her told her that she was in the back of a truck. Next she noticed the friction of cable ties digging into the skin of her wrists which were tied behind her back. She moved her legs, hoping to sit herself up but found that they were tied together too. She panicked, moaning loudly into the tape, screaming through her nose. She stopped as she heard the sound of somebody else doing the same. Wildly she looked into the darkness around her, and through a small section of light shining between the truck doors she could see another pair of legs tied together. She followed the legs upwards where the light bounced from a familiar mane of bushy strawberry blonde hair. Nikki. She felt both comforted by her presence and scared for her, for them both. What the fuck was going on?!

Nikki had managed to sit herself up, her back against the side of the truck. She wasn't struggling, she had moaned into the tape across her mouth to tell Piper that she wasn't alone. Nikki brought her knees up to steady herself as she swayed with rocky movement of the moving truck. Piper shuffled, so that she was beside her room-mate and struggled to sit herself up. There was a dull ache in the side of her arm where a needle had sedated her. She had no idea how long she had been out, long enough to be tied up and chucked into the back of a truck. The grogginess that she felt indicated she may have been asleep for a few hours, but the light shining between the doors meant that it was still day.

Piper closed her eyes as she forced herself to remember what had happened. It was a Thursday, so Alex had already left for work by the time she and Nikki had began their morning routine. She'd walked out of the bathroom and had been shocked to find a man with his arm bent across bending her arm across Nikki's head as he held her to the floor. Another man appeared suddenly from the bedroom and walked towards her. The men didn't speak to them or each other, not once. Piper looked around wildly before making a dive for the bathroom. She'd attempted to slam the door shut, horrified as a steel capped boot swiftly moved into the frame. Instinctively she began to scream, she pushed forward in an attempt to run past the man but an arm caught her around her stomach and a large hand covered her mouth. She continued to struggle but he was strong and quick, within seconds her face was pressed against the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. Through the gap in the door she could see a man pressing a needle into Nikki's arm. The man holding her down was fidgeting with something in his hand, she knew it would a needle and she tried to break free once more, but the large muscled arm pressing against her cheek allowed no for no movement. She was trapped. A needle forcefully jabbed into her arm and within seconds her vision blurred, she tried to focus on the fading outline of the sink basin, tried to fight the sleepiness consuming her, she felt her body become limp and then she was gone..

Now she found herself and Nikki in the back of a truck, abducted. Hours crawled by, although she had no way of counting the time, the light shining through the doors had began to fade. Wherever they were being taken was far away from home, and she had the dreaded feeling that she wouldn't ever be seeing home again, that this was it, the end. So much had happened so quickly, she and Alex had been official for just two weeks. She wondered about Alex, had she discovered they were missing yet? Surely she would have noticed they hadn't turned up for work? Or had Alex been taken too? There had to be a reason she and Nikki had been taken, a calculated reason. People didn't just get taken from their homes at random. It became glaringly obvious to her that this was the work of the Cartel. But why them?

* * *

Alex picked up Pipers abandoned phone and tried to calm her thoughts. She needed to think logically, she needed to come up with a plan. But a million and one questions were running wild through her head. She felt certain that she knew the "who" and even the "why" but variations of "when", "where" and "what" were rushing through her mind. With a large slam she threw the phone back down to the bed and her balled fist into the bedroom door, "FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK!"

She began to pace up and down, it had been so long since she had worked in the cartel for her to have any idea how they operated these days, she imagined they would be just as dangerous, perhaps even more so. If it had been so easy to find her and take Piper and Nikki, then why hadn't they done so before? She thought back to her dream two weeks ago, had it been a premonition? And then she thought back to the men she had seen outside her apartment, and the man she had seen in New York and then again as she'd landed back in LA. They _had_ been watching her. They'd been waiting. But why? Why now? Why did they take them?

Piper's phone began to ring, she picked it up and looked at the screen. Unknown number.

She hesitated before answering, "hello?"

"Alex Vause," the voice was deep but familiar.

"Who's this?"

"An old friend," the voice spoke. It wasn't Kubra, but she felt certain she had heard that voice before. It was one of the cartel, someone who worked very close to Kubra. She tried to put a face to the voice but couldn't.

"I strongly advise that you keep quiet, if we even hear a police siren then Blondies brains here will be all over your friends face. Got it?"

"It's me that you want," Alex spat angrily, "why have you taken them? They didn't do anything."

"Keep it shut, we ask the questions, not you."

Alex sighed impatiently, she knew to do as the voice told her, she knew she had no choice but to do anything and everything that they asked of her. And then it came to her, the reason the Cartel had taken Nikki and Piper was simple. Leverage. At some point they were going to ask Alex to do something that she wouldn't want to do, and she would have no choice but to do it, whatever it was.

"What do you want from me?" Her hands were shaking but her voice remained steady. She couldn't afford to sound scared.

"Don't move from the apartment Vause, we are closer than you think," the voice warned, "I will call you back soon with a location, Kubra wants to talk." The line went dead.

Alex replayed the words in her head. _Closer than you think. _How close? Was somebody in the apartment with her? She stood up and moved through the apartment with defiant attitude, she opened every door and cupboard, looking under the beds, anywhere a person could hide. But she was alone.

Kubra was not the kind of man to waste time and resource, this was not just a "pay back", she owed him a debt, and he was collecting. He didn't care for the welfare of Piper and Nikki, they were merely a bargaining tool, there was nothing stopping him from having all three of them killed once he'd taken what he wanted from Alex. Alex knew better than to expect Kubra would want just the $70,000 she had taken during her escape, he would want at least double plus interest. The only way she could save Piper and Nikki would be to kill Kubra. Easier said than done. Kubra had protection.

She rushed back to her bedroom and pulled out various storage boxes from her wardrobe, she began to empty them until she came across a small tatty book. It looked more like a teenagers diary than anything else.

She opened the book and flicked through pages of her untidy scrawl. It was an book of old notes, phone numbers and account numbers and passwords. Computers were too easily hacked, but this inconspicuous note book held all the information she had once needed without looking important at all. The book was cryptic, made up of obscure notes, numbers and symbols. She never wrote all the information on the same page, instead she had a system of spreading it across pages, almost like a code. She flicked through the pages and stopped at a four digit number, she flicked four more pages and then entered a three digit number before flicking the book by three pages and finding a five digit number. Together the 11 digits made up a phone number. She double checked to make sure she had found the correct pages and then she rang the number.

"Chow's pet store, how may I help?" a female voice called.

"Can I speak to Kim?" Alex asked.

Kim worked for a rival cartel, he wasn't the head but he wasn't far from.

"Kim is a little busy at the moment, can I take a message?"

"Tell Kim that this is urgent, he doesn't want to miss my call. Tell him that Vause called and that I want to help him bring down Kubra."

"Alex Vause?"

"Yes, tell him it is Alex Vause."

There were a few minutes before a male voice answered the phone.

"You tell Kubra that I'm not playing games anymore."

"I'm not working for Kubra," Alex hissed impatiently. She'd know it would be difficult to win Kim's trust.

"I haven't worked for him for years," she told him, though she was sure he must have heard of her escape, "but he's after me, and he's taken two of my friends."

"Is there a point to any of this?" the voice sounded bored and a little aggravated.

"I can bring you to Kubra."

"How?" the voice seemed sceptical.

"Because at some point they're going to kidnap me too, and they're going to take me right to him."

"And?"

"And if you can have some of your guys in the right place at the right time, then you're free to him."

"You want us to be your bodyguards?" the man seemed amused.

"No. I want you to watch me, and then when they take me, I want you to follow them, and there you will find Kubra."

"Sounds too simple."

"That's the beauty of it."

There was a silence.

"How does this help you?"

"Well if you kill him before he kills me, I can rescue my friends."

"They must be very good friends."

"They are."

"I'm going to need to meet you first," the voice spoke.

"There's no time, they've told me not to leave the apartment until they contact me."

There was another long pause.

"I want you to hang up. The next call you receive will be a video request, accept it." The line went dead. Alex stared at the screen of her phone and answered the incoming video call immediately. She couldn't see anybody on her screen, the camera had been blocked, but they could see her.

"Yes, that's her, that's Vause," she could hear a voice in the background of the call.

"Look, this isn't a set up," Alex spoke holding the screen up so that they could clearly see she was alone, "I need your help."

"Where are you?"

She relayed her address and waited patiently. She knew this could be a massive mistake, but this was her only chance. She couldn't bring Kubra down on her own..

"Do you remember Smith?" the voice asked.

Smith had worked for Kubra many years ago. Alex had never met him, but everybody knew the story. Samuel Smith had been involved in an attempt to bring down the rival cartel, by order of Kubra. The concept of their plot was simple, feed enough information to the feds to lead to their arrest. Of course, Kubra couldn't risk getting too close to the feds, so information was captured by camera and bugging devices. Sam had been the "plant". He infiltrated the rival cartel and gathered information, evidence which they would use to tip off the feds. One morning Kubra received a special delivery, and when he opened the box, he found Smiths head. It was a message to Kubra that the cartel was not to be messed with.

"The decapitated guy?"

"Some of my best work," the voice spoke, "if we find out that this is another one of Kubra's silly little tricks, make no mistake that the next time Fed Ex knock on his door, it will be your head in the box."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Got it," she answered.

"We have somebody watching your apartment," Kim said, "when they call you, you call me. Any time you change your location, you call me. Got it?"

"Yes."

The line went dead.

Alex wasn't sure whether she could rely on the rival cartel to keep to their word, but it was the best shot she had. She knew how badly they would want to take him down. With Kubra gone, the company would collapse and his valuable business would be up for the taking. Millions of dollars worth of business. She knew that the rivals would be at least curious about her proposition.

She sat and waited for the phone to ring.

* * *

The engine stopped. Piper felt tired and thirsty, her body felt bruised and achy. She couldn't be sure how long they had been locked in the back of the truck but there hadn't been any light shining in the gap between the doors for a long time. She guessed that it was late in the evening, perhaps past midnight. Listening out, she could hear the sound of the carriage doors opening and closing, and then she could hear footsteps making their way around the truck, deep voices talking hurriedly in an accent that she didn't recognise. The doors flew open and the first of the two men hoisted himself up and into the truck. He shone a torch onto them, and they winced up into the bright light at the silhouette figure. He took a blade from his pocket and sliced the cables at their feet.

"Up!" He demanded.

Piper and Nikki pushed against their feet, stumbling as they stood up. Pipers rolled her shoulders in attempt to wake her arms which had felt like dead weights for some time now.

The man pointed his torch out of the truck and to the pavement, "Out!"

They shuffled forwards hesitantly. Somehow the darkness in the back of the truck felt safer than whatever could be awaiting them outside.

"Come on," the man spoke impatiently. His accent was heavily eastern European.

Nikki jumped first, the second man held out his arms to catch her. Piper jumped next, and felt her body crash into the man. She steadied herself and stood away from him, turning around to look at their location. They were parked outside a boarded up abandoned apartment building, the surrounding buildings were either derelict or severely run down. One had been partly demolished. There were no other cars, and no sign that anybody lived or ever visited the ghost town.

Piper looked from one man to the other. They looked very similar, as though they might be brothers. They both had crew cut styled dark hair and stubble, both were well built but Piper noted that the one who had pinned her to the bathroom floor was notably more dangerous looking, he was more muscular, and had a thick scar that ran down one side of his face.

One of the men walked towards the chained up entrance of the building. He slipped a key into the padlock and dropped the thick chain to the floor, stepping over it as he pushed open the door. Piper's mouth felt dry as she looked at the decaying building. Was this where she was going to die? A hand roughly pushed Piper her forward and she walked towards the building. As she stepped over the chain and into the doorway she was hit by the distinct smell of damp, and urine. She jumped at the sudden flicker of light as the strip light above dimly lit the corridor. The floor was littered with burned aerosol cans and empty snack wrappers. She heard a scurrying. Rats. Piper watched her footing carefully, knowing that there was every chance of stepping on rat or a used needle. She noticed the graffiti on the walls, not art like she had seen on the graffiti walls at Venice Beach, but "tags" and names. She passed a double elevator, one of which had the doors open and cable leading into the darkness of the basement. She shivered as she wondered why they were here. The practicality of using this abandoned building in an abandoned town to house hostages was obvious. But why were they hostages? What did they want from Alex? Even as she faced inescapable danger herself, and the likelihood of murder, she couldn't help but worry for Alex. The light flickered, buzzing loudly as it threatened to die any moment. She looked behind her to see Nikki being shoved forward. She looked back at the man leading the way and noticed that he was now pushing the door open to the fire exit.

She continued to follow, climbing the stairs up four floors until the man stopped outside door 407, and pushed a key into the lock. She felt herself being pushed into the darkness of the apartment, and then the man stepped in and flicked the light switch. By comparison to the what she had seen so far, the apartment seemed relatively clean. Empty, dusty but untouched by graffiti or litter. She could see into the small kitchen, there was a gap where an oven and dishwasher should be, but there was a refrigerator, and on the surfaces she could see a microwave and a travel kettle beside two mugs. The living room was bare except for two stools and an old radio. She and Nikki were guided into a room at the back of the apartment which was empty except for a mattress in the corner, beneath a window boarded with metal.

"Home sweet home," the largest man grumbled.

Piper stared at the mattress, half expecting a rat to run out from under it. Nikki, however, simply sat down on it. She grumbled loudly into the tape across her mouth.

"You scream, and I will put a bullet right.. there," the man with the scarred face spoke, prodding his large stubby finger in the space between Nikki's eyebrows. She nodded in response, and he ripped the tape from her mouth.

Stretching her face, Nikki rubbed her lips before she spoke. "Where the fuck are we?"

Neither of the men bothered to answer her.

Piper moaned into the tape across her own mouth.

"Same goes for you Blondie," the man warned and pulled the tape from her mouth.

"Where's Alex?" Piper asked immediately.

"She is.. otherwise engaged," the larger man answered.

"Where?"

No answer.

"Is she OK?"

No answer.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Nikki loudly demanded.

"Keep it down," the other man warned, he gave them a look at the gun tucked into the inside of his jacket. Piper wasn't sure why he demanded them to be quiet, even if she screamed, there was nobody around to hear them.

"Can you untie my wrists?" She asked.

No answer.

"Ok, well can't you just tie them to the front instead of behind my back?"

The larger of the two men took Nikki's wrists and unclasped the plastic. She moved her wrists in-front of her and held them back together obediently. He retied them and then did the same for Piper.

She took a place on the mattress beside Nikki.

"Friendly pair, arent they?" Nikki said, trying to make some humour of their situation. But there was nothing funny about this.

"They work for Kubra," Piper spoke in a whisper, although she knew the men would be able to hear her, "the guy who Alex used to work for."

"The drug king pin dude?"

"Exactly. They're using us to get to Alex. I'm assuming our lives depend on her doing something to pay back her debt."

"Fuck," Nikki said, resting her head against the wall.

"Yeah, fuck."

"Alex will come through," Nikki said trying to remain positive, "she loves you."

Piper nodded, she was sure that Alex would do all that she could to guarantee their safety, but she didn't know if that mattered for anything. While she had never had much to do with the Cartel during her travels with Alex, she knew that a lot went on which Alex chose not to discuss with her. Alex kept Piper at a distance from the business, with the exception of once using her as a mule to move drug money into Belgium. But Piper knew that these men were dangerous. That Kubra never got blood on his hands, he paid other's to do his dirty work, and the men who had abducted her and Nikki, these were the men who did his dirty work. They were the dirty work.

"These guys are dangerous," she told Nikki, "Alex could do whatever they want, she could do it perfectly, but it doesn't mean it will matter for shit. People like us, hostages, we're nothing but bodies to them."

Nikki closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall. "I was a junkie once, you know?" She didn't know how much Alex had told Piper about her.

"I didn't know that," Piper looked surprised, "how long have you been clean?"

"About a year before I met Alex," Nikki said, "ended up in hospital for a second time, some infection from a dirty needle," she spoke casually, "I didn't give two fucks about what happened to me.. but my shit head of a mother came to visit me in the Hospital. She actually looked as though she cared. Not in the way that most mothers would care, you know? She was never affectionate, I was always an inconvenience rather than a daughter. But she came back early from her vacation to see me in the hospital, and she actually looked scared for me. So I made a promise to stay clean."

Piper nodded, she wasn't sure why Nikki was telling her this. Perhaps just to pass the time.

"When I met Alex, she was living in a motel room at the edge of town, you know the cheap $30 a night rooms that prostitutes use to run their business. Yeah well they're fairly decent places to score drugs. It was my birthday and my Mom didn't even bother to call, I went there for a hit, but instead I bumped into this fucking mess of a woman. Crying her eyes out as she downed cheap vodka. She doesn't know it but she saved me that night."

"That's what's fucked up," Nikki spoke, her voice a little louder, "if she hadn't ran away from that fucker, she wouldn't have been there that night and I would have injected that shit into veins and would probably be dead by now..."

"And now you're here because of Alex and none of it even matters because you're probably going to die anyway?" Piper summarised.

It sounded cold, cruel, bitter and angry, but it was true.

"Something like that," Nikki agreed.

Silence fell between them. It was hard not to be angry with Alex. Angry at her and scared, and scared for her too.

"I hope she's OK," Nikki thought out loud.

"Me too," Piper sighed. Wherever Alex was, whatever she was doing, she knew the woman was not OK.

* * *

**A/N – **

**As always, thank you for your reviews. I felt quite un-confident about that last chapter, and I was surprised by the positivity it received. I hadn't even intended or thought of it as being cute, but I am happy you enjoyed it. I'm a sucker for stars and romantic mush. **

**As you may have guessed from this Chapter, I have no clue how an international drugs cartel works. So if by any chance you are reading this and your career involves the movement of vast amounts of illegal substances then I apologise for my lack of working knowledge in this subject area. **

**Apologies if there are any typing mistakes. I have written and edited and re-edited this so many times, that it's likely that I have missed something or bodged it up somehow. But I literally don't think I can read through it again without driving myself insane. I'm sure the plot has plenty of holes in it and probably wouldn't happen how I've written it but I'm enjoying writing it, and I hope you continue to enjoy reading it.**

**Thank you,**

**S x**


	15. Maybe

**A/N:** Thank you for your reviews. I wont lie and say that when I saw that I'd reached over 100 reviews, I did a little celebratory dance. I really appreciate each and every review, I especially love reading your opinions on how things are progressing. I have found this week that unless I re-watch OITNB, it's very easy to just allow the characters to take their own shape rather than the shape and personality that makes them the characters we know and love. Or at least I tell myself that re-watching episodes an my favourite scenes over and over is merely research, and not at all bordering unhealthy obsession..

**Chapter 15 – Maybe.**

As she pulled into the parking lot of the abandoned factory, Alex looked down to the phone in her lap. She had been on speaker since leaving her apartment, updating Kim with her location. Apparently she was being watched but she couldn't see any other car or person around.

"I thought you were supposed to be manning this place," she asked, unimpressed that he had not kept to his promise.

"They're there," Kim spoke simply. Alex squinted and looked up to the windows trying to see any sign of somebody on watch. But she couldn't see anybody. The car-park and the factory looked still. She heard the sound of an engine growing louder and informed Kim of their arrival.

"Don't hang up, put your phone in your pocket so that I can hear."

Alex did as he said, slipping the phone into the pocket of her jeans. She watched as a white van parked up near to the factory entrance. She took a deep breath, pushed open her car door and began walking towards the van. She didn't need to see the four men who climbed out of the van to know that Kubra was not there. She knew that she was going to have to allow herself to be kidnapped. Kubra wouldn't come to her, he would have her brought to him.

She looked around, hoping to see somebody. But she saw nothing. Maybe Kim had lied. Maybe he never intended to go after Kubra. Maybe it hadn't ever been Kim she'd spoken too. A hundred maybes clouded her mind, she felt herself begin to panic. She rubbed her clammy palms on the back pockets of her jeans, avoiding the front pocket with her phone. Maybe Kim was there, and maybe he was listening, and maybe his men were just very well hidden. Maybe. But maybe not.

"Alex Vause," one of the men spoke her name with a sneer.

"Carlos, right?" She asked the man.

"Right."

She recognised him easily. He had been one of Kubra's guards. She remembered how his usual post had been right beside Kubra. Apparently not any more. She couldn't imagine that her kidnapping would be an operation which required the use of his best men. They were just couriers, mules really, only their cargo was live-goods rather than valuable cash or drugs. They were just collecting a person from A and taking them to B, more of an aggressive taxi service really. Plus they were kidnapping her from an abandoned factory, with no witnesses or operational cctv. A kidnap operation such as this hardly required any skill, just eye-sight and muscle.

Alex smirked, "looks as though there's been some changes to the staff."

Carlos squared his jaw, "temporarily" he spoke through tight lips.

"Sure, sure."

She couldn't help herself in mocking her kidnapper. If they were going to take her dignity, she could chip at theirs. She walked around to the back of the van and peered inside, there was a set of handcuffs on the floor. She reached inside and picked them up, locking one around her wrist.

"Shall we?" She asked as she stepped into the van.

The men looked at her perplexed. Hostages were never usually so willing to be taken.

Alex sat down in the van, and simply smiled back at their confused faces. She casually held up her wrists for them to lock her handcuffs. She'd known all along that the plan had been to kidnap her and take her to Kubra. So why fight? Why waste her energy?

"Told you she was odd," Carlos spoke to the other men as he entered the van and locked the handcuffs.

"Hot though," one of the other men replied.

"Do you think?" the other man answered, not convinced.

"Oh yeah, I'd smash her back doors in."

Alex raised an eyebrow, "sorry Fella's, I'm strictly vagetarian."

"Oh, you're killing me," the man responded rubbing a hand over the bulge in his pants.

Alex blinked.

"It's not rape if you yell surprise," the man spoke as he climbed into the van and sat beside her. He placed a hand on her knee and squeezed.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Alex warned him.

"I don't think you're in any position to be dealing out threats," the man spoke with a wicked smile.

Alex rolled her eyes and with a swift movement she elbowed him in the eye, "you were saying?" she asked.

"Fucking bitch!" He growled. Alex lifted her feet in the air, waiting for him to lunge at her, but he backed away holding a hand across his eye. Another man entered the van and took his place opposite Alex.

"Phone?" he asked, barely concealing his amusement over the injury she had inflicted on the other man.

Alex struggled with her hands being cuffed, but managed to slide a hand into her pocket, she quickly clicked the power button to end the call and passed the phone across. She had no idea whether Kim had anybody nearby to follow them, she could only hope. He threw the phone out to Carlos who let it drop to the floor before he stamped his heal down on the screen, and then again, and again until the phone was in pieces.

Carlos leaned in and slammed the doors shut. Alex was in darkness. She had no idea where she was going or what would happen to her, but she knew that sometime soon she would be face to face with Kubra. She wondered about what he would ask, or rather _tell_ her to do. She wondered about Piper and Nikki, about where they were being held, whether they had been hurt, whether she would ever see them again. She couldn't help but feel guilty. Hours passed, the two men didn't speak, not to each other and not to her. Occasionally the darkness was disturbed by the bright light of a phone screen lighting up their faces as they broke their boredom with a phone game or a text conversation. Alex shuffled into a laying position, her body numb and aching.

She tried to ignore the guilt she felt for putting Piper and Nikki in life threatening danger. How could they ever forgive her for this? She wouldn't. She wouldn't ever forgive herself. But maybe, maybe if Kim had meant his promises, maybe Kubra would soon be dead, and there would no longer be any danger. Maybe. Piper's life, their life together, relied on maybe. Maybe Piper would forgive her. Maybe, if they all survived this mess. Maybe.

The word 'Maybe' was beginning to lose all meaning.

* * *

It was difficult to tell what time of day it was when Piper woke. With the windows boarded up and no access to a clock, time seemed to stand still. It was only when a bowl of soggy cereal was passed to her that she guessed it must be some time in the morning. She spooned the sloppy rice cereal into her mouth, the milk was warm but not off and she felt thankful for that at least. She nudged Nikki so that she could eat her cereal before it turned to mush.

"Quite well behaved these ones," one of the men spoke as he watched them eat their breakfast.

"Apparently Vause handed herself across, put her own cuffs on," the other laughed.

"No shit?!"

Piper paused at the sound of her name, she wondered if they would say anything else.

"Evans took an elbow though."

"Good that cunt runs his mouth far too much. I'm surprised Kubra even allowed him to go."

"Probably just wanted to piss Carlos off."

The men laughed.

Piper returned to her cereal. Alex had been taken too. It was definite now. Alex would not be coming to rescue them. They were on their own.

"Shit," Nikki whispered as she pushed her bowl aside, "what are we going to do now?"

Piper looked up to the ceiling, to the boarded up window, to the open door guarded by their abductors, looking for a sign of weakness, looking for a way out. But it was pointless. This place was a concrete prison, with metal where there should be glass in the windows.

"We're going to escape," Piper whispered so quietly that she barely heard her own voice.

Nikki looked to the metal window and then to the guards stood outside. There would be no way to escape.

"I don't think so Blondie."

"Well, I'm not just sitting here waiting to die," Piper hissed in a whisper.

"You don't know they're going to kill us," Nikki countered, though she didn't sound confident in her words.

"You don't know that they wont."

"I know that they will if we try to run."

"You two are looking very cosy," one of the guards had walked into the room. He dropped a bottle of water on the bed, "drink it slowly, you get two bathroom breaks a day."

He walked back out and complained to his colleague that he was bored.

"That's how," Piper said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Nikki shook her head, unwilling to listen to whatever elaborate plan the blonde was concocting.

"They have to unlock us when we go to the bathroom."

Nikki shuffled so that she was laid back down. Piper couldn't believe that Nikki wasn't even willing to listen to her. Nikki was wild, she was fearless, she was all talk.

"We just need to catch them off guard."

"Piper, give it up," Nikki's voice sounded tired, bored.

"Urgh!" Piper balled her fist in frustration and punched the mattress.

"Keep it down!" One of the men shouted back to her, his voice just as loud if not louder.

Piper lay down beside Nikki, unwilling to let this drop.

"How can you just lay there and wait?!" Piper whispered.

"Look, these guys managed to track Alex down years after she escaped, then kidnap us, and her too by the sounds of it, they know what they're doing. Two girls who work at Book Ends Coffee Shop aren't going to outsmart these fuckers."

Nikki had a fair point, but Piper wasn't saying that it would be easy, nor that it would be successful. Simply that it was worth a try, even if it did mean their life. They were probably going to be killed anyway, once Alex had done as they asked, they were probably all going to be killed.

Piper closed her eyes, and found that with nothing to do, with only the same pattern of thoughts, it was easier than one would expect to fall asleep. She woke an hour or two later when a foot prodded her leg.

"Bathroom break."

She rose and followed the man through the apartment and into the bathroom. There was a faded blue towel folded on the sink and a toilet roll on top. She held her handcuffs up to him waiting to be unlocked.

"No."

"I can't... you know, with these on" she used her head to point to the tissue and then to the toilet.

"Think of it as something new you learned to do today," the man responded.

"Well then, can I have some privacy?"

The man turned to face the door, "knock yourself out."

Piper did as best as she could with the toilet roll, and just as she began to pull her t-shirt over her head she realised that unless he released the cuffs would become trapped at the cuffs on her wrists. She pulled up her pants and pulled down her t-shirt, feeling a little victorious in her discovery.

"Excuse me," she spoke.

The man turned around, "what now?"

"If I pull this t-shirt up over my head and then down along my arms, it's just going to get caught on the cuffs."

"And?"

"And it will get wet in the shower, I can't put it back on if it's wet."

"It will dry."

Was he for real?! Did he expect her to just sit around in this concrete box wearing a wet t-shirt?

"I guess I will skip the shower then," she told him. He shrugged and opened the bathroom door, she past him and walked back to the bedroom.

Nikki stood up and followed the man into the bathroom. When she returned she looked furious, and the man looked mildly amused.

"Fucking sick fuckers," Nikki mumbled as she flopped back down to the mattress.

"He didn't unlock yours either then?"

"No, and I'm not fucking freezing my tits off, I'd rather smell like ass than spend the rest of the day catching pneumonia."

"I don't get it!" Piper exclaimed, "they managed to break into our apartment, shove us to the floor, sedate us and bring us here, yet they're scared of letting us shower un-cuffed?!"

"See, we aint going anywhere," Nikki folded her hands across her chest as she looked up to the ceiling, "face it Chapman, sooner or later we're gonna die, and its probably going to be in this poky ass room and nobody will even discover our bodies until they finally knock this place to the ground."

"Thanks," Piper replied, trying not to think about her body rotting in the decaying building.

"Anytime."

* * *

Alex looked up at the old building in font of her. She could see that the residents of this neighbourhood had long since moved on. Another "development" which had been started and left unfinished. Another place for criminals to operate in privacy.

"Really?" she asked as she walked towards the entrance, "and I was half expecting the Hilton."

She noticed the chain on the floor, and pushed open the door. She stepped out of the morning sun into the dark corridor. Kubra wouldn't be here. For some reason, though she wasn't sure why, she was being held here.

She waited for Carlos to lead the way and he did, down through the littered, graffiti covered corridor, past the broken elevators and to the fire escape. Up one flight of stairs to the first floor, up another flight of stairs to the second floor and then down the corridor, until they reached door number 226.

She walked into the apartment and gave it a look around, "nice place, a little more minimalistic than I prefer my furnishings, but it all comes down to personal taste, right?"

Carlos ignored her, the other three men just looked at her with differing expressions of confusion.

She moved into the back room and looked up at the metal sheet covering what she expected had once been a window, "amazing view," she commented, "I think I'm going to like it here."

She took her place on the mattress and looked up at Carlos, "so where's Kubra?"

"You will see him tomorrow."

"I can hardly wait," Alex stretched out across the mattress, "do you mind? I didn't sleep so well last night."

Carlos folded his arms across his chest, "you think you're so funny, don't you Vause?"

Alex shrugged, looking at the cracks on the ceiling above. She'd never considered herself as being particularly funny, but she enjoyed her sense of humour.

"You always were a little too big for your boots. But look at you now," he sneered, "waiting to jump through hoops for Kubra to save your little girlfriend."

Alex pushed herself up onto her elbows, "And look at you, doing a rookie's job. What did you do to piss him off?"

The man's eyes narrowed, "keep it shut, Vause?"

"Or what?" Alex smiled, she knew that they wouldn't harm her. Not yet anyway. Whatever Kubra wanted her for, he did not want her bruised and battered. On the street battle wounds were like medals, but for those at the top, those making the big deals, it looked bad for business.

"Or I will make personally make sure that the end is long and painful."

Alex raised an eyebrow, "sounds kinky."

Carlos turned and left the room, taking the driver with him.

"So what do we do now?" the man with the fresh bruise spoke to his partner.

"I guess we babysit."

"Don't mind me," Alex called to them jovially, "I'm just going to lay here like a good little hostage and catch some beauty sleep."

A bottle of water was dropped by her feet and then the door was closed and she could hear the sound of a key locking her inside. Alex closed her eyes. She knew it was the early hours of the morning, and judging by the amount of time they had been driving she assumed that they could be as far away as Vegas, or Sacremento, perhaps even Pheonix. At least it wasn't Mexico, they hadn't gone through any border control. She decided the most likely location would be somewhere on the outer skirts of Vegas,  
there was plenty of business opportunities for Kubra in Vegas.

Alex had expected that perhaps now, in a room with no noise, in a still room where she could have some privacy, that maybe she would feel a little calmer, but the silence seemed to just allow her thoughts to become louder and louder. There were so many thoughts. So many maybes. Where were Piper and Nikki now? Kubra's men tended not to shy away from violence, so there was every chance they could be hurt. But not dead. Not dead.

She would ask. She would ask to speak to them, or to see them. She would ask for some sort of evidence to make sure they were both OK.

Alex sat up and unscrewed the lid from the bottle of water and brought it up to her lips. She hadn't realised she was thirsty until the water filled her mouth, and then suddenly it was as hough she had an unquenchable thirst.

She thought about all of the possibilities that lay ahead. Her meeting with Kubra wouldn't be an execution, though she supposed if she didn't do as he said, it could well be. Of course she would do what he asked of her, though Kubra could be cruel, he could ask her to do anything. He could make her do despicable things if he really wanted to punish her. If Carlos, his favoured security guard had somehow been demoted to the lower rank jobs such as kidnap, then what would he do to his best importer who ran away with $70,000? She sighed as she decided that it was pointless trying to predict what could happen from this point forward, she would find out tomorrow, and she would do it. She would do anything to keep Piper and Nikki safe.

With her head cradled in her hands she thought about the two women. Kubra must have been watching her for a while, deciding whether the two women were worth it to her. He knew Piper, he had actually met Piper, he would recognise at once that the blonde was the most important part in Alex's life. He had probably assumed Alex had ran away to be with her, and that they had been together the entire time she had been missing. But Nikki, why Nikki? Had she simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or was she just further insurance? Additional weight to the leverage.

How could she have let this happen?! How could she have been so stupid? How could she have been naïve to believe that she could escape the Cartel? Yes, she had been successful in shaking them off for some time, for a few years, but not forever.

Her thoughts continued to run away from her, picking up more velocity, growing wilder and wilder. She considered the possibility that the Cartel had known where she was all along and that they had just been waiting, biding their time, waiting for the moment when she finally had something to live for, something to fight for. She took another gulp of water, and tightly squeezed her eyes shut. She shook away the tangle of implausible thoughts. She had to keep calm. She had to be calm if she was going to stand any chance of saving Piper and Nikki. She had to focus. She had to clear her mind of the mess, there was no room for guilt, no room for "what if's" and "maybes", there was no room for doubt or assumptions.

What happened, had happened. It was done. She couldn't go back and change it. All she could do now was accept the situation for what it was, and deal with whatever came next as it happened. She would do what she needed to do. Whatever happened to Alex, didn't really matter. Piper and Nikki would be freed. She had to be hopeful. Whether the rivals kept to their word, whether they were successful in their assassination attempt on Kubra, or whether Alex had to do whatever task or mission that Kubra told her to, she would make sure that Piper and Nikki walked away from this with nothing more than bad memories.

Alex stood up and began walking around the room for lack of anything better to do. She needed to stop thinking. Carefully she began placing her feet heal to toe, and counted how many steps it took to do a circle of the room, then she she tried doing the same thing backwards, and just as she decided on her next "exercise" she heard the metallic sound of the door being unlocked. She looked up as the door was pushed open and the man, the same man who had sat opposite her in the van, entered the room. He looked back at her stood in the middle of the room, but he said nothing about it. He had a box in his hand and instead of dumping it on the mattress, he handed it over to her.

"Lunch," he spoke, turning to leave.

"Thanks," Alex looked inside the thin box to find a burger and fries, she sniffed the greasy food appreciatively, "what, no ketchup?" she asked.

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a sachet of ketchup and a small packet containing a wet wipe. He offered them to her without speaking. Alex took them and looked at the man with curiosity. He was fairly young, she supposed. Not as rough around the edges as the other men, but he had a slightly worn look about him, as though life hadn't been too easy on him. She supposed that most people in the Cartel came from troubled and difficult pasts, otherwise they would all have framed degrees in their hallways and legitimate means of making money. But the man seemed different, he seemed to look at her differently. She gave him a smile, and he gave her a sad smile back. He didn't like his job, he didn't want this life. Alex had briefly known that feeling, just before she'd left.

"Are Piper and Nikki Ok?" She asked him.

The man watched her for a moment as he tried to decide whether he could share this information, he gave a single nod of the head.

Alex felt relief sweep through her, she didn't know why, perhaps it was his sad eyes, but she believed him.

The man left her and closed the door behind him. As Alex tucked into the burger and found that it was still warm, it occurred to her that wherever she was, she couldn't be too far away from other people, she was at least close enough to a fast food restaurant or drive through. Somehow this made her feel a little more at ease. She finished the burger, downed more of the water and curled up on the mattress, willing herself to sleep.

When Alex awoke, she had the desperate need to pee. She knocked on the door and the man with the sad eyes agreed to take her. He didn't speak, and while Alex was bored and craved conversation with somebody other than herself, she assumed the man was staying quiet to avoid any conversation which could make his job even harder. She'd done it herself, she never let herself become attached to any of the mules, she learned what she needed to learn about them for the job, and nothing more. Keeping things professional just made things less messy, easier.

The day went by much like this, Alex slept as best as she could, she listened out for information in conversations, she was given a Pizza for dinner and a bottle of supermarket brand soda, and then she slept some more. When she requested another bathroom break, it was Carlos who answered the door. She could see on his watch that it was early morning. He accompanied her to the bathroom and offered her the chance to use the shower, unlocking her cuffs so that she could undress. She thought about taunting him about working the graveyard shift, but decided that he had at least been fair to her (or as fair as a kidnapper could be), and in a few hours she would be taken to Kubra. Her stomach knotted at the thought.

She returned to the mattress, hopeful that after her meeting with Kubra, she wouldn't have to spend another night there. She found herself unable to sleep, just waiting for the time to come when she would be back in the van, and driven to some remote location to meet Kubra. And then what? Would Kim's men be there to take him down? Would Piper and Nikki be there? Would-

She heard a key click in the door and then twist. She let out a low, ragged breath. Was she ready for this? She didn't know. It didn't matter. Whether she was ready for this or not, it was happening. She stood up and tried to convince herself that she was ready, she tried to fill herself with the same confidence she had shown yesterday, tried to fool herself into thinking that she had some control over the situation, although she knew that her fate, Pipers fate, and Nikki's fate was all in the hands of other people. She just didn't know whose hands held the tightest grip. The mantra of "maybe" continued through her head, she was unable to stop it, unable to calm herself. Everything else was a blur, she followed the men through the corridors, hardly noticing the pink orange of the sky as the sun rose, she climbed into the back of the truck and sat down. The doors slammed shut and she was in darkness again. But all she could think about was maybe.

Maybe everything would be OK.

Maybe.

But maybe not.


	16. Dodging the Bullet

**A/N –** **Do you know what? You guys are awesome. I have a feeling that this story may be coming to an end soon, but I am so happy so many of you joined me for the journey. Thank you all so much for your reviews, both public and through PM's, it is so encouraging to see people enjoying my writing. I keep having ideas of where to take this, and there are so many directions, but I feel as though maybe that would take me down a road of creating plots just for the sake of continuing. I don't know, I will think through a few ideas and see what happens. I have a few ideas for new stories too. As always, please review, criticisms or suggestions are also welcome :)**

**Thank you,**

**S**

* * *

**Chapter 16 – Dodging the bullet. **

When Alex climbed out of the back of the truck, the sun had finished its journey into the sky. It was bright, and warm on her skin. The air felt drier here than it did in LA. This was the desert. She looked around, and noted how close they were to the city. As she had predicted, they were indeed in Vegas. The building they had parked beside looked like an abandoned stadium. She had no idea why here when there were so many unopened casino's or hotels which offered just as much privacy from unwelcome visitors. She supposed this place was as good as any.

A formation took place where Carlos lead the way and the two other men stayed at her rear, presumably to catch her in the unlikely chance that she made a run for it. As they entered the building through the main doors, Alex wasn't sure how they had access, but none of the men seemed worried about getting caught. They were in a corridor which circled around the entire building, they walked until they were at "Block E", passing repetitions of dusty bars, merchandise stands, and posters advertising shows of bands which had long since split up.

Carlos pushed open the doors and Alex walked into the concrete passage. It was pitch black. There were no light, save for the emergency exit signs which let out small amounts of greenish light near the steps. With her heart hammering inside her chest, she continued to follow Carlos up and up, until he stopped and turned left between the plastic seats. Suddenly, with a sharp buzz, flood lights lit the arena. Carlos stopped in his tracks, running a hand through his hair, he checked the time on his phone and pulled one of the plastic seats down. "He will be here any minute now," he informed her. Alex took a seat next to him and tried to think of something to do with her fidgeting hands, she pushed them between her legs but the edges of the cuffs pressed into her uncomfortably, so she let them rest in her lap.

Alex looked around the empty arena hoping for a sign that she was not alone. If Kim's men were here though, they would be well hidden, making an appearance only when the time was right. She decided that so long as they had a good aim, a shot at Kubra wouldn't be too difficult, they were in a relatively open space, and there were plenty of entry and exit points for them to come from. But she knew that she couldn't rely on the rival cartel, just as they couldn't rely on her word. Kim had either made the decision to trust her and take the risk, or the decision that she wasn't to be trusted, and this was a set up. There was every chance that nobody was coming to get her out of this mess. She would have to give Kubra whatever he wanted, whatever the cost.

A few minutes passed, and then Carlos, whose eyes had never left the screen of his phone, stood up and climbed the stairs, taking a seat somewhere up above. From below, Alex could see a muscular man with a trimmed greying black beard and small dark eyes. He watched her carefully as he climbed the stairs and then passed by, taking his place just a few steps up.

And then Kubra appeared, walking the stairs slowly, an insincere smile tugging at his lips.

"Alex!" He spoke her name as a greeting, and made his across to her. She rose to meet him.

"Kubra," she spoke, her voice stern. She was here for business.

"Please, sit down," the man spoke cheerily as he took a seat beside her.

"How are you?" he asked, there was a challenging look in his eyes, as though daring Alex not to take part in pleasantries.

"I've been better," Alex replied honestly, her tone austere.

Kubra let out a small laugh, though it seemed forced rather than actually amused, "I imagine you have, yes."

He looked at the handcuffs restraining her wrists, and shouted up to Carlos for the key.

"I see no reason to use these," he spoke as he handed the to Carlos.

Alex rubbed at the indentations the cuffs had made on her wrists, and looked up at Kubra, who now seemed to be ignoring her. She watched impatiently, waiting for Kubra to speak as he looked out over the empty seats ahead of them. Finally he let out a sigh and turned to face her, his facial features pulled into mock disappointment.

"Alex, Alex, Alex.." He shook his head slowly.

"Kubra, I-

Kubra held up a hand to silence her.

"You took something from me, so I took something from you," he said matter-of-factly. He watched her for a reaction, but she had long since perfected her poker face.

"And now you want me repayment"

"You always were a smart girl," he spoke with a condescending tone.

Alex would usually tell patronising pricks like him where to go, but Kubra had the advantage here. Kubra always had the advantage, and so she had always allowed him to speak to her like she was a child.

"So what are your terms?" she asked him, trying to remain business-like.

"I'm a fair man, don't you think, Alex?"

She nodded. Kubra had always been fair to her, he had always listened to reason and taken her suggestions on board. He never asked for the impossible, though he pushed as far as he could.

"Yes," she agreed.

"You owe me some money," he began, "I believe you took $70,000 from me before your departure."

Alex nodded, "I don't quite have all of it anymore-" she began to explain. Much of the money had been spent as she travelled from country to country following her escape.

"I never expected for a second that you did, Alex," he gave her a tight lipped smile. A silent warning for her not to interrupt him again.

"And then there are the collateral damages.."

Alex narrowed her eyes. _Collateral Damages? _

"First of all the direct costs involved in that particular operation, the hotels, the flights, the pay offs.." he explained casually, "and then of course the more indirect costs, the loss of one of our greatest importers, and the time and money spent on training her..." his eyes dug into Alex at this point, he held an expression Alex imagined a disappointed father might have for his daughter when she did something disrespectful.

"And the impact of your sudden departure. How difficult do you think that was to explain to our clients, to the manufacturers. Thankfully I was able to smooth most of it over, but you made us look unreliable, made me look like I wasn't in control, made the business look like a risk. We lost a hand-full of contacts, I'd say you probably cost us a few hundred thousand per year.."

Alex continued to keep her expression blank she could feel anger bubbling in her stomach. He was going to calculate that Alex owed him a hell of a lot more money than she could ever pay back, at least not with her job at Book Ends. She would have no choice but to come back to work for him, or Piper and Nikki would pay with their lives.

"As we have both just agreed, I am a fair man. I'm not going to ask you to do the impossible. I want you to come back, Alex."

Alex nodded, she had half expected this anyway.

"Of course, you're a flight risk, so there will be big changes to my management style, trackers, security, that sort of thing.." Kubra knew that Alex had no option but to say yes, he knew that the raven haired woman would do everything she could to protect the people she loved.

What Alex didn't know was that Kubra knew her better than she ever could have imagined. While he hadn't predicted her escape, he had seen a change in her the weekend that her mother died, an emptiness. Kubra had watched as Alex grow from the lost rebellious teenager, as she had been when she first joined the Cartel, into a confident young woman. He had watched her, hungry for more than life outside the cartel had to offer, eager to prove herself, eager to prove that she was good at something. He had seen through her 'I don't give a shit about anything or anyone other than myself' attitude. He had seen the love she held for her mother, how it outweighed the rejection she felt from the rest of the world.

Kubra had also seen the changes in Alex when the younger blonde woman entered her life. He had seen a shift in her, she was still confident, still a little arrogant, but she had softened somehow. Kubra had expected her to become too distracted to deliver her promises, but instead her appetite for success seemed to have grown. Piper, as Kubra soon learned, gave Alex reason in the world. Alex was better with Piper than she was without her. Piper was her weakness.

"And Piper?" Alex asked, "she will be safe? And Nikki?"

Kubra gave her a knowing smile, "You do your first operation successfully, and I will let them both go."

Alex's eyebrows knitted together as she thought about this. It was too easy, too simple. "There has to be more to it than that."

Kubra shook his head, "not really, as I said to you before, there is only one way out of this business Alex. You won't get the chance to do your disappearing act again, because I will be watching you. Closely."

His friendly tone had hardened, and his dark eyes narrowed. "If you make any mistakes, any at all, the next time you see her face, it will be her head in a box."

"How do I know they're even alive?" Alex asked. The words passing through her lips didn't feel real, she could barely believe she had spoken them.

"Ah, I had expected this question."

Kubra reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He held it up, and on the screen was an image of Piper and Nikki. Nikki in her work clothes and Piper in a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt which both looked too big for her. They were handcuffed, sat on a mattress in a room which looked familiar, it looked very similar to the room Alex had been held in. Had they been there? Is that where Piper and Nikki were being held? She looked at the newspaper that Piper held up for the camera, it had today's date on it. They were still alive. Alex could save them. She would never see them again, but she could save them.

"Alright, I'm in." Alex spoke as she handed back the phone, "but I will want proof that they're still alive."

"Of course," Kubra nodded, he outstretched his hand for her to take.

Alex took it,and allowed the firm handshake, she felt both defeated and relieved. Defeated because she knew that she had never had any other choice but to do exactly as he said, and relieved because Piper and Nikki would go free. Nothing else mattered.

A deafening crack sounded in the air. Alex let go of his hand and ducked instinctively. There was another loud crack, and then another.

Alex dropped to the floor.

She heard a clatter near to her head as Kubra fell to the floor. She didn't dare to move, frightened that she would be shot at.

Kim had kept his word. The rival's had been watching, they had taken their chance to bring down Kubra and the Cartel. But there was every chance that they would shoot at Alex.

After a minute of silence passed, she willed herself to turn her head and look at Kubra. His head was next to hers, his body motionless on the ground.

"What the fuck?!" A male voice hissed somewhere behind her, "Kubra?!"

There was another crack. And then another. And then a clatter as the man was shot and fell down the stairs.

And then there was silence again.

Alex remained still against the cold concrete floor. She could smell the copper of blood as a puddle began to grow beneath Kubra's unmoving body. She whispered his name, but there came no answer.

She reached out and quickly shoved his shoulder. Nothing. She shoved him again, harder. Nothing. She reached up to move a hand over his mouth and nose, and waited to feel his breath. Nothing.

Kubra was dead.

She shuffled away from him, crawling backwards slowly.

Alex lifted her head to the direction she knew Carlos had been sat. He was now a lifeless body slumped over in a plastic seat. She looked at Kubra, dead on the floor and then looked to where she'd heard the clatter down the stairs and saw an oddly contorted body, lifeless in a heap on the floor. Suddenly a hand shoved her head towards the floor, she quickly shifted her arm to cushion the blow and kicked her legs out.

With a twist, Alex managed to turn herself onto her back, looking up at her attacker. It was the driver who worked with Carlos. She kicked him hard in the chest as he leant forward to punch her. She watched as he stumbled backwards, and she moved into a crouching position, ready for him to attack her again.

Three more cracks sounded and the man fell to the floor.

Remaining low, Alex began to move, out between the chairs and onto the steps. She pushed the dead body aside to clear her path as she carefully crawled feet first, down the stairs. She expected to hear another gun shot, expected to feel a sharp pain as a bullet entered through her back, she expected the lights to go out at any time, but nothing happened. With the exception of her slow and careful movements, everything felt eerily still. Finally she was at the bottom of the stairs, she edged sideways until she saw the exit for her block of seats, and she moved into the shadows, pushing herself up on her feet, and pressing her back into the wall, trying to minimise her visibility.

Finally she felt the cold metal bar of the door, and she made the decision to make a run for it. She pushed it down, and ran out into the empty foyer. She looked left, and the path was clear, and then she looked right, and there stood a man whom she didn't recognise. She pushed with her feet and darted left, still there was no gun shots, but she could hear a pair of feet running just behind her. And then she felt herself shoved into the wall, and a hand press over her mouth.

"Shhh," the man whispered, he waited for Alex to stop struggling against him before he released his grip.

"We followed you here," he explained, "I've just had a call to say your friends are being held in the same apartment building they held you at this morning, here's the address."

Alex felt a piece of paper and the keys to the white van shoved into her the palm of her hand. She tightly wrapped her fingers around the objects and watched as the stranger stepped away from her. She walked away in disbelief, and quickened her pace as she headed out of the building, wincing at the brightness of the sun. Her walk turned into a run as she headed for the white van. She didn't know where the two other men were who had accompanied her journey to the arena, but they weren't anywhere nearby so she didn't care.

She hoisted herself into the cab of the van and pushed the keys into the ignition. She read the address on the paper and slammed her fists down onto the dashboard as she realised she didn't know where the address was, and there wasn't a GPS system in the van. She didn't know Vegas, she had only been there once, she had no idea which direction to take. She felt relieved, Kubra was dead. She wouldn't have to re-join the Cartel, all she had to do now was find Piper and Nikki. Alex had dodged a bullet, both literally and figuratively.

* * *

Piper finished her bowl of soggy cereal and sighed. It was only the second morning she had woken on the limp mattress in this depressing cell of a room. She wasn't sure how long she would be hear, but she felt claustrophobic. She decided that today, if she was given another opportunity to shower, she would do so, even if it meant showering in her wet clothes and waiting for them to dry.

Nikki grimaced as she took the last spoon full of cereal and groaned, "How much more of this shit do you think we're going to have to eat?"

Piper shrugged, part of her felt like making the point that they wouldn't have to keep eating it if they tried to escape, but after realising yesterday that they guards were reluctant to let them out of their handcuffs, added to the size of the two men, she had began to accept that an escape attempt was probably not wise. But she refused to accept that this was it. She refused to believe that she would spend her last days imprisoned in the woebegone building.

Nikki stood up and stretched before starting to circle the room. Piper watched for a few moments before she began to tap her feet in a rhythm.

"We have to get out of here," Nikki said, "we have to try."

Piper raised her eyebrows in surprise, "what?"

"I can't stand it!" the wild haired woman stomped her foot, "we need to do something!"

"I don't think-

"I've been thinking," Nikki began, sitting herself back down beside Piper, "if we're being used as leverage, then they're not going to shoot at us are they? I mean, Alex is going to ask for some kind of evidence that we're still alive.."

Piper wasn't sure how to respond. Last night she had fallen asleep trying to think of a way that they might escape, but no plan had formed, and she had been plagued by Nikki's conviction that they would never get out, that they would die in this hovel. But now, it was as though Nikki had woken from her depressive state and was finally ready to fight for her life, and yet Piper felt resigned to the fact that there would be no escape, that they would have to wait it out for Alex to come and rescue them.

"And if we're dead, they aren't going to have any evidence are they? And she won't do whatever it is that they want her to do."

Piper considered this point. It was a good point. It was logical.

"Right, but if we escape, they aren't going to have that evidence either."

"Maybe, but the worse they're likely to do is to rough us up a little. I can take a beating."

Piper studied Nikki's serious expression.

"They might kill one of us," Piper spoke, "because Alex would still come back for the other."

Nikki shrugged, "if we sit here waiting, we're just waiting to die anyway."

Piper gave her a sad smile. She had said all of this yesterday. "How?" she asked simply. If she had spent all night trying to think of a way out of this, how would Nikki come up with a plan now?

Just as the wild haired woman opened her mouth to answer, the door flew open and a newspaper was thrown at Piper.

"Say cheese," the man spoke as he held up his phone to take their picture.

Piper picked up the paper and noticed it was today's. She noticed also that it was the "Vegas Sun" newspaper, and that it was dated with today's date. She held the paper up to the camera and the man took the picture and walked out of the room.

"You know what this means?" Piper whispered, suddenly filled with hope.

Nikki looked at her blankly.

"Alex has asked for evidence that we are still alive," Piper smiled, "she's ok."

A small smile tugged at Nikki's lips, "you think she's gonna come get us?"

Piper shook her head, "not yet, she wont have the chance until she does whatever it is they want her to do.. we could be here for days, weeks even.."

She turned the paper over in her hands, "but we now know where we are," she held the front sheet up for Nikki to see, "and it's just occurred to me that either somebody else is bringing in things, like the food and this paper, or, and I suspect this is more likely, one of them leaves every so often to run errands.."

Nikki nodded her head, picking up on Piper's train of thought. "Two of us, one of them..."

"Exactly."

They both smiled, at last feeling some hope that they could escape.

Suddenly there came a series of loud bangs, and then finally a slam which sounded much like a door being roughly pushed into a wall.

There was a series of gun shots.

Piper and Nikki both looked at each other and then the door as it suddenly opened, and the man with the scarred face dived inside before closing the door. Gun shots sounded and holes came through the door but none of them hit the man as he continued to hold the door shut.

All they could do was watch. It became silent, except for the panting of the large man who it seemed had been shot in his arm. Blood soaked into the sleeve of his shirt and trickled down his muscled arm, he pressed a hand against the open wound, but continued to hold his weight against the door.

Piper wanted to ask what was happening but the words failed to escape her lips. Instead she grabbed Nikki, and the pair of them huddled in the corner, trying to make themselves smaller as they waited for whatever would come next.

"Shit," the man cursed, he seemed to relax a little, and just as he did so the door was forced open. He leapt across the mattress and beside Nikki and Piper. Hoping that whoever was shooting at him would not want to shoot the hostages and hold their fire.

Apparently the shooter wasn't too bothered.

He shot anyway, three times, and the weight of the now dead guard fell into Piper and Nikki. They remained still, hoping the gunman would leave, and listened for his footsteps to die away before Nikki pushed the body to the floor.

Piper gasped.

She could feel a burning sensation to the side of her upper leg, and a warmth as the material of her joggers soaked up the blood. She had been hit.

Nikki moved out from the corner and held out her hands to steady the blonde, looking down to the darkening material around the wound. "Shit, shit, shit.."

Instinctively, Piper pressed her hand down onto the wound, and swore at the pressure. It felt as though a hot poker was poking her above the knee, searing through her skin and muscle. She gritted her teeth together as she applied more pressure trying to stop the bleeding. Beads of sweat ran from her forehead to her temple. The sharp pain subsided, making way for an ache unlike anything she had ever felt before.

Nikki ripped off her t-shirt and brought it up around Pipers leg, allowing Piper to remove her bloodied hand from the open wound five inches up from her knee and to the side of her leg. She pulled the material into a tight knot, and stood up.

"Come on," she held out a hand for Piper to take, "lets get the fuck out of here."

One hand on the wall and one hand gripping Nikki tightly, Piper pushed with her uninjured leg until she was standing. By now her left leg was a dead weight, she attempted to move it, willing with all her might but it was a dead weight, she put a little weight on the leg but the lack of control felt strange.

"I can't move my leg," Piper spoke.

"Lean against me," Nikki wrapped a hand around Pipers waist, allowing the woman to put her weight against her. She carefully moved forward, waiting for Piper to take her first limp, and they stood down from the unsteady mattress and slowly made their way towards the door before stopping for a rest.

"How am I supposed to climb down three flights of stairs?" Piper asked as she thought about her journey out of this building.

"How about we think about that when we get there?" Nikki suggested, "one step at a time, alright?"

"Right," Piper spoke, trying to remain calm.

"Who the fuck was that?" Piper asked, thinking about the gunman.

"Fuck knows," Nikki responded as she lifted Piper's weight into another step.

As they walked further into the room, they could see the body of the other guard face down in the kitchen.

"All of this for fucking drugs?" Nikki could barely believe that the drug she had once depended upon, the drug she had shot into her veins so that she could numb herself to her own pain, was the cause of all of this violence.

"For money," Piper corrected her, "for money and control."

The door into the hallway was open, she continued their slow journey to the fire escape and then, with Nikki always two steps, below they began their slow descent.

Once they had completed the eighteen stairs between the third and second floor, they took a breid rest. "We need to get you to a hospital, Chapman."

"How?"

Nikki looked back up the stairs, "I'm gonna go look for the keys to the van," she spoke, "we have to be near a town, the burger last night was still warm when they gave us it, we can't be far from someone who can give us directions to a hospital."

Piper nodded and watched as Nikki ran back up the stairs. Her leg no longer felt like part of her body, it was strange how heavy it felt, and how she felt no pain at all. She outstretched her hand and watched her fingers shake with adrenalin. She felt a little weak and light headed from the blood loss. She knew she needed to get to a hospital soon. She didn't know much about gunshot wounds but she knew that the blood-loss could soon cause her to black out.

She heard two sets of footsteps, one set from above as Nikki quickly moved down the stairs, and a set of footsteps below, ascending the stairs towards her.

Pipers first thought was that it was the gunman returning to finish them off. Then that it could be one of the Cartel. She pushed herself up, grabbing the cold metal railing as she tried to steady herself.

Nikki's breathy voice spoke first, "You don't think that Alex-"

"That Alex, what?" a familiar raspy voice interrupted.


	17. Think of the story that you'll have

**A/N –** **Do you know what's annoying? Writing a chapter for it to just randomly delete itself. And then trying to re-write it knowing it just wouldn't be the same the second time around.. ****I've also been attempting to start another story (I have actually started 3 of them) but I feel unsatisfied with all of my efforts. Overall it has been very frustrating few days.**

**Oh well!**

**Just a note to say that I have no clue about gun shot wounds, survival rates, and all of that super-smart medical stuff. I have used my trusty friend Google to find out as much as I could.. so this chapter may not be factually, medically correct.. **

**This isn't the last chapter, but it may be the penultimate chapter, I haven't quite decided yet.. I will definitely miss writing this, and I think that makes me want to hold on to it just a little while longer..**

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**Chapter 17 - "Think of the story that you'll have"**

Alex sped down the road, sitting just on the speed limit, her foot tempted to press down and give it more gas, willing her to drive faster. She resisted, she couldn't afford to waste time being pulled over by a state trooper. The elderly man in the gas station had told her to take the fifth exit, and so far she had passed three. She had no idea what she could find back at the apartment building. As far as she knew, Piper and Nikki were still locked up as hostages. And there were over ten floors to the building with maybe twenty apartments on each floor.

But what if they were already dead? What if word about the shooting in the arena had reached the rest of the Cartel and they decided to clean up their evidence. Alex shook away these uneasy thoughts. She decided that this was unlikely. Kubra didn't have a successor in line to head the Cartel, a selfish mistake. Some of the importers may attempt to group together to run things but ultimately, Alex knew that Kim would take over the contracts and Kubras men would disband. In the chaos of the likely attacks, Piper and Nikki would probably be forgotten.

The fifth exit came up and Alex turned into it, she passed through a small town, and noticed a drive through burger joint. She pulled over and asked for further directions. As she had in the gas station, she received a look of confusion as she showed the woman the address scribbled onto the piece of paper in her hand. Questioning looks, as though silently asking her why she would want to visit the unoccupied building.

The woman took the piece of paper from her and looked from the slanted hand-writing back up to Alex, "that place has been closed for years, the only people who go there are-" she paused, her eyes narrowed, "are druggies and criminals…"

"I just need to know where it is.." Alex insisted.

"You don't look like a druggie.. or a criminal," the woman shared her evaluation.

Alex let out a sigh of frustration, "I'm not." _...anymore..._

The older woman adjusted the glasses on the bridge of her nose as she inspected Alex, her eyes dropping down and then back up. Alex shifted from foot to foot as she tried to manage her attitude which was becoming increasingly frustrated.

"It's just down the road, take the first right and then a left. I don't think you should be going there on your own.." the woman spoke, she forced a kind smile but Alex could see through the act.

"Thank you!"

Alex climbed back into the van and pulled away before the woman could say anything else. She followed the directions and sure enough she came to the apartment building she had seen earlier that morning. It was now late morning, though it felt much later. As she took the first right she saw a black car speed out of the junction and roar down the main road. To anybody else this would just be another careless driver, but to Alex, the car could only have came from one place. She pressed her foot down, pushing the car to go as fast as she could. Who had been in that black car?

The van screeched against the tarmac as she pulled up beside the apartment building. The white van that had been parked up earlier that morning had not moved. Piper and Nikki were inside, she knew it. She didn't know where they were, or whether their abductors were still inside, guarding them, although the van indicated that they were. She jumped out of the van and looked around for something she could use as a weapon. There was a piece of slightly rusted copper pipe in the wasteland to the side. She picked it up and held it firmly in her hands as she entered the building.

It occurred to her that she would need more than her new weapon to break down any of the doors. She cursed herself for her lack of planning, and began pushing on doors, calling their names. A few doors opened but when she stepped into the apartment's they were empty, although many of the ground floor apartments were occupied by rats. Large rats. Rats the size of small cats. She quickly closed the doors, and continued to shout their names. She tried to tell herself that the lack of response just meant that they couldn't hear her as they were on a higher floor, but with the lack of elevator use, she couldn't imagine they were too high up.

She climbed the stairs, moving her search to the first floor and she paused. She could hear footsteps against the tiled floor. Hurried footsteps. Footsteps coming towards her. She pulled the copper pipe down to her side, gripping it tightly, readying herself for whoever was around the corner. She continued to climb the stairs, almost dropping the pipe to the floor at the sound of a voice she recognised. It was like music to her ears.

"You don't think that Alex-"

"That Alex, what?" she interrupted, turning the corner to see Nikki crouching down beside Piper.

Her relief was short lived.

Pipers blue eyes looked down at her, a pained expression on her face as she attempted to pull herself up from her sitting position on the steps. Nikki stood with her hand around her waist, topless except for a black bra. Her missing t-shirt had been tied tightly around the top of Piper's leg. Grey jogging pants stained in a deep shade of maroon, bright red blood smeared up both of their forearms. Her heart began to hammer in her chest, she already knew it before the words passed Nikki's lips-

"Gunshot."

"When?!" Alex asked, surely it couldn't have been too long ago. She recalled the black car speeding past her at the junction.

"I don't know, we started moving out as soon as it happened.." Nikki's attention was on Piper as the blonde shuffled herself down the next step.

"The two men who kidnapped us are dead," Nikki continued, "some guy he just broke down the door and shot at them, he wasn't aiming for us but one of the fucker's jumped to try and hide behind us and she was shot."

Alex watched as the two women continued to move one slow step at a time. She thought about asking Piper if she was ok, but she already had the answer. Of course she wasn't ok. None of this was ok.

"It must of been one of Kim's men," Alex thought out loud.

"Who?" Piper managed to ask.

"I will explain to you later," Alex spoke softly, "we need to get you to a hospital."

Piper nodded her head, before sitting on one of the steps, "are you ok?"

Alex could barely believe it. The blonde had been shot through the leg, she was trying to get down three flights of stairs, and she was asking Alex if she was ok?!

"Yeah Kid, I'm fine."

Piper gave her a smile which turned in an instant to a wince as she shuffled down the next step, "fuck!"

As she watched the two women struggle down each step, Alex felt helpless. She wanted to apologise but she felt that an apology didn't even begin to express the way that she felt. She didn't expect their forgiveness, so she wouldn't ask for it. What was she supposed to say? "I'm sorry that you got abducted by order of my old drug lord boss, and then shot by the rival Cartel I encouraged to come after Kubra and assassinate him."

This was her fault.

She pushed through the waves of guilt, and decided she needed to be more practical.

"I have a van," she explained, "I will go and drive it up to the door."

With that she hurried down the stairs and back outside to where she had parked the van. She revved the engine and pushed up over the high curbs, across the yellowed grass and turned it so the back of the van faced the open door. It was a struggle but together she and Nikki were able to lift Piper into the van, careful not to knock her injured leg.

She drove back the way she came, and slowed as she drove through the town, pulling into the drive through burger place. She waited for the voice, "Good morning, Big Buddies Burgers, can I take your order?" the thick accent spoke.

"Yeah, could you tell me where the nearest hospital is?"

There was a pause, "is everything ok, ma'am?"

"No, my girlfriend has been shot and I need to get her to the hospital." What was it with the inquisitive people of this town?!

"The nearest hospital is about twenty minutes away!" The voice sounded panicked as she explained the route to the hospital.

Alex thanked her, repeating the directions over and over as she reversed out of the drive-through.

As she drove the minutes passed like hours, and she knew with each minute, Piper was losing more blood. With no sign of the hospital Alex began to panic that she had forgotten some vital turn in the directions and she was just going to keep driving through this baking desert until she ran out of gas, and Piper bled out.

She couldn't even communicate with them over the roar of the engine and the road passing beneath them. She had no idea how Piper was doing, and she wouldn't know until she stopped.

Finally there was a road sign indicating a hospital within 5 miles. She sighed in relief, and checked her speedometer to make sure that she hadn't edged over. 4 miles. 3 miles. 2 miles. 1 mile.

She saw the white, red and blue of a hospital building. The first turn in was for the ER, she dropped her speed and turned in. There were ambulances parked up waiting for calls, and there were ambulances parked up dropping off patients. Alex drove straight for the entrance doors and stopped the van.

Piper looked worse than when they had left the apartment building. She looked pale and clammy, and her eyes seemed to look through her rather than finding focus. A lump formed in Alex's throat. She didn't want to think about it, but how could she not? What if Piper dying? What if she died? What if Piper died today and it was all because of her.

She shook away the thoughts as she had been doing all day. She couldn't deal with it right now. It wasn't the right time to be sifting through her guilt and remorse.

She slipped her arm under Piper's and brought the womans hand around her neck as Nikki did the same. They practically dragged her into the ER.

Alex had been in the Emergency Room only once in her life. She had broken her arm as a child when she had lost her balance climbing over a high wall. The ER had been exciting then, with important people like doctors and nurses rushing around to save people's lives. But now, with Piper's life on the line, she couldn't stand how busy the room was.

What was the protocol? When she'd broken her arm she had sat on a bench reading old magazines while her mother filled out forms and discussed insurance.. But she couldn't imagine that Piper would sit in the waiting room with a bullet wedged into her leg as her blood drained out. Instead, she screamed for help.

"Help! She's been shot!"

The entire room seemed to look over at them. A nurse rushed over, shouting orders at the other nurses to page for a Dr Fishwick. She grabbed a wheelchair and opened it out, driving it up behind Piper. Alex and Nikki lowered her into the chair and the nurse wrapped a blanket around her before wheeling her down the corridor. Alex and Nikki followed at her ankles.

"What happened?" the nurse asked.

Alex's mouth was dry, she felt as though she had swallowed sand.

"We were being held hostage in some abandoned apartment building when a gunman broke down the door and shot our kidnappers, he misfired and hit Piper," Nikki explained.

"Piper," the nurse called the blonde, "how are you feeling?"

"Cold," Piper answered, her voice was quiet.

While Piper underwent surgery to remove the bullet from her leg, Nikki and Alex waited together in silence.

It felt as though time had stopped for Alex. She was desperate for news and yet terrified that the news would be bad. She paced up and down and up and down, and when she sat, she found herself tapping her foot or biting her nails. Her and Nikki had barely spoken, instead they buried themselves in the silence.

Finally Nikki spoke up, "so what happened?" she asked Alex.

Alex found herself explaining everything to Nikki with ease, she'd expected it to be much more difficult, but the words fell away from her effortlessly. Talking about it also made it more real. The last few days had been surreal, as though she'd dreamt herself into a Hollywood movie. Reliving it through her words confirmed that it had happened, and that it was still happening now.

Nikki didn't interrupt once. If it hadn't been for the fact she had abducted and locked up, she would have thought that Alex was just talking shit, just trying to impress her with made-up dangerous experiences.

A doctor walked over to them and announced that Piper was out of surgery. The bullet had been successfully removed, and there was significant muscle damage, but Piper had been lucky (as lucky as anyone who had been accidentally shot could be), as the bullet had narrowly missed a main artery. The doctor explained that Piper would have areas of numbness due to nerve damage, and that she would have some muscle wastage, but that she would be OK.

She would be OK.

She wasn't going to die.

Piper and Nikki took up seats beside Piper, and waited for her to wake. The blonde was connected to an IV, morphine dripping into her to control the pain. The use of the opium was sickeningly ironic.

Long eyelashes flickered open and Alex let out a breath of relief as she looked at those blue eyes. They were darker than usual, and her pupils were dilated, probably due to the drugs pumping through her system to numb the pain.

"Hey," Alex smiled.

Piper watched her for a moment before she smiled back.

"Hey."

Nikki scurried from her chair so that her head was in Piper's line of sight, "hey!"

Alex chuckled and Piper's smile widened.

"I suppose I should leave you two lovebird's together," Nikki spoke, readying herself to give them some privacy.

"No!" Piper's voice was small but it was firm.

"Stay."

Nikki nodded and moved her chair close to Alex before taking a seat.

"I know I should tell you both how sorry I am," Alex began, "but I don't know how to even begin."

Piper opened her mouth to speak but Nikki covered it for her when she said simply, "we know."

Alex didn't think they did know. They couldn't possibly know the weight of the guilt she felt. She felt her eyes begin to burn, and she didn't bother to stop the tears from rolling.

"Fuck," Nikki pulled her in to a side-by-side hug, "don't get soft on us, Vause."

"I don't know what I would have done if you'd-

"But I didn't," Piper interrupted.

"But I nearly-

Piper closed her eyes as she quoted one of Alex's classic lines back at her, "Yeah, but think of the story that you'll have.."


End file.
